


Dead Hearts

by PrinceSkylar



Category: Durarara!!, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Blood, CCG - Freeform, Eventual Shizuo and Mikado relationship, Ghoul! Mikado, Ghoul! Shizuo, Hide is alive, Inappropriate Kagune Usage, M/M, Male OC - Freeform, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, OC twins, Romance, Smut, Someone will die, Swearing, Uta Being an Asshole, female oc - Freeform, izaya regrets his choices, izaya's a real douche, just saying, kagunes, sad ghouls, seriously this isn't going to be happy, with some feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:10:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceSkylar/pseuds/PrinceSkylar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya's found a new game to play, and Shizuo and Mikado have become the pawns. They're not human now, and with CCG taking over and everything going upside down, there's no telling how they'll end up getting out of this. Izaya may or may not have a heart, but who's to say it's filled with good intentions? </p>
<p>Kaneki just wants to live somewhere in peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been in my mind a while. Takes place after the first season of Durarara, and after the second season of the Tokyo Ghoul anime, only Kaneki left with Hide instead. Because yeah.

The slamming of a door somewhere upstairs made him look up, darkened eyes narrowed in interest. When no other sounds followed he shrugged and looked back at his little project who laid, terrified, before him. He had a thing for female victims lately, something he couldn't explain. They were fun to watch, were pretty when they cried like this girl was now. With her hands bound behind her back, black duct tape over her mouth, she stared at him with terrified and tear filled eyes. Uta smiled slowly behind his mask. "Shall we continue?"

This girl shook her head, frantic and her scream dying in her throat. It was dark...it was so dark and all she could see of this terrifying stranger was the tattoo, words wrapped around this man's neck in a language she didn't understand. Hands grabbed her by the hips, yanked her closer as that god awful mask loomed inches in front of her face. Behind his mask Uta chuckled and hummed. "What do I eat first? The heart or the-"

"Am I interrupting dinner?"

"Hm?" Uta turned around and cocked his head to the side as he stared towards the stairs that led upstairs. At the top of the stair case was a man who stared back at him with a lazy, nonchalant smirk. Uta almost scoffed. "Orihara-San. You're early."

"Am I?" Orihara Izaya examined his nails for a moment before he smirked again. "Should I wait upstairs? They sort of just let me in and if you're eager to finish your meal then-"

"It can wait," Uta let go of the sobbing girl and stood straight, pushing off his mask. His smile was playful, interested and eager. He watched Izaya walk down the stairs, counted every step and watched the informant's every movement. Izaya stopped before him and Uta smiled a bit wider. "It's so good to see you, Orihara-San. Or shall I call you  _Kanra-Chan_?"

Izaya smirked and shrugged, a lazy roll of his shoulders as he glanced around the dimly lit basement. "Izaya will do just fine. I see you've taken a liking to Ikkebukuro women?" He gestured to the woman lying helpless on the floor.

Uta shrugged, a lazy gesture, and led Izaya towards a table that sat a few feet away. He sat down, all elegant grace, and smiled at the other male. "Ikkebukuro is very interesting. I'm glad you convinced me to come, really. Now!" A wide grin formed on his lips. "Business talk, yes? Have you decided on what it is you want from me?"

"The story you told me about the Ghoul called "Eyepatch" has sparked my interest," Izaya began as he leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on the table. slowly, a smirk formed on his lips again. "An organically made monster...how thrilling. See, I have a proposition for you."

"If it involves finding Eyepatch then forget it," Uta said with a small sigh. "No one knows where he is."

"No, no," The other raven shook his head and continued. "I have something else in mind...my own organically made Ghouls."

Uta's eyes widened a bit before they narrowed in interest. He leaned closer, chin propped up in his hand. "Oh? You want me to make them?"

"No, I've got someone I can get to do that part," Izaya assured. He swung his legs off the table and leaned closer, his breath ghosting across the male ghoul's lips. "I just need the organs, you see. Preferably from interesting subjects. I'll be making two."

Uta nodded slowly, reached out to trail his fingers over the other man's cheek. Izaya was soft, his pale skin almost perfect. It made something inside of the ghoul churn in interest. He leaned back and examined his black painted nails. "Quite a trouble maker, aren't you?"

"As if you aren't either." Izaya countered as he shrugged. "Do we have a deal? I'll pay whatever you want."

Uta looked away from his nails and smiled slowly. "For someone like you I'll do it for free."

If Izaya was shocked he hid it well behind a wide smirk. He stood up and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket, laughing softly. "Perfect. Keep in contact with me and let me know when they'll be available for pick up."

"It may be sooner than you think," Uta stood in one fluid, graceful movement and grinned. "I know the perfect ghouls to get them from, after all. I'll be sure to keep in touch with you. Ah...now if you'll excuse me...?" He gestured to the woman, helpless on the floor. "I hope me eating won't bother you."

Izaya shrugged. "I'll just take my leave." He replied. "Email me hen you're ready. I can't wait."

Uta watched as the other headed for the stairs and then cocked his head to the side. "Orihara-San, may I ask who you have in mind for your little experiment?"

Izaya paused on the top stair and smirked, glancing over his shoulder. "One old friend and one boy who seeks...adventure."

"You're prepared for any uncertain outcomes?" Uta murmured as he looked back at his meal. The woman was still trembling, still terrified.

Izaya laughed softly to himself. "After I turn them, it won't be my problem if any uncertain outcomes happen."

"A guilt free mindset," Uta sighed as he kneelt down and inhaled the woman's scent. He smiled, kakugan activating and turning his eyes black, pupils red. "I like that, Orihara-san, but you have to know that eventually there will become a day when your actions will catch up to you."

Izaya glanced down at the man and shrugged. "Just let me know when it's ready."

Izaya left as the sound of flesh being torn resonated in the room. It was him slightly queasy but he forced it down, waving at the other ghouls that lingered in the room watching him leave. Outside of the warehouse the air was cold, the sounds of Ikkebukuro loud as he made his way down the deserted docks.

* * *

Rough morning sunlight filtered in through parted blinds, making blue eyes squint as they tried to flutter open. He yawned, this young man, and stared up at his ceiling as his sleep-hazed mind tried to catch up with everything.

Mikado Ryuugamine was deeply regretting his choice of staying up so late the previous night. He sighed and stretched, back cracking in a few places, and then pushed his blankets aside. His little apartment was pretty warm for so early in the morning and the black haired teen made a face, running his hand through his hair a few times.

He'd left the TV on the night before and the news that was playing was caught his attention as he tried to will away the urge to go back to bed.

"...The body found in the alley way behind the supermarket has been identified as Yui Nanase, a first year at Raira Academy." The reported stated.

Mikado tilted his head slightly as a picture of said girl, Yui, came on screen. She wore glasses, had hazel eyes and short black hair. He'd probably seen her a few times in the hall.

"The body was mangled," The reported continued. "And nearly ripped open. Pictures of the crime scene aren't suitable for television, but it was confirmed that Miss Nanase's death was one of many new and terrifying ghoul attacks to hit the Toshima Ward. The CCG, The Commission of Counter Ghoul, has confirmed that Ikkebkuro, the sixteenth Ward, has been marked as active ghoul territory after nearly two decades of inactivity."

Mikado knew enough about ghouls. They were monsters, his parents had used to say, and ate human flesh. He'd never seen any, of course.

Ikkebukuro was marked as the Sixteenth Ward, named Toshima. As stated on the news, for almost twenty years the city was void of any ghouls or ghoul attacks, deeming it inactive. Mikado felt a wave of mild panic wash over him as the weight of the news washed over him. He shut off the TV and pushed himself to his feet so that he could get ready for school.

The walk to school was uneventful for a while, Mikado spacing out until a hand clasped over his shoulder. "Mikado!"

The boy jumped, squeaking in surprise, and whirled around to meet wide and excited brown eyes. He blinked and then sighed, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Ah, good morning, Masaomi..."

Masaomi Kida titled his head at his best friend and chuckled softly. "You look out of it today, man."

"I stayed up really late," Mikado sighed and shrugged. He gestured for them to continue walking and Masaomi followed after. "Did you see the news this morning, Masaomi?"

The blonde grunted softly. "Yeah, I did. The ghoul thing?"

"The girl was from our school," Mikado murmured.

Masaomi nodded. "Yeah, and her body was't too far from the school. No more late night walks for us, I guess."

"I'm sure if we walk around close to home we'd be fine," Mikado offered lightly as he smiled a bit at him. "I mean it's just-"

"It isn't safe," The other muttered, voice clipped as he shot his friend a look. "Seriously, Mikado. I know you and Anri stay out late sometimes when I stay in with Saki, but you two really shouldn't do that anymore. Ghouls are a big deal; this isn't something you can avoid like gang members and shit."

Mikado frowned, but nodded. "I know that, Masaomi, I do." He hesitated and smiled softly again. "I'll be fine."

Masaomi huffed and looked away, stretching his arms above his head as he walked. "I just came back; you can't go and die on me. And another thing," He paused and frowned deeply. "...I don't know why I always have to tell you this, but stay away from Izaya, okay? This sounds like something he'd get involved in."

Mikado made a face at the mention of the information broker's name and nodded. "Yeah...I know, Masaomi. I'll be careful."

Masaomi nodded and that was the end of that. The two boys fell to casual joking and talking, which was nice and welcomed. Kida had been gone for a while after the incident with the Dollars and the Yellow Scarves, but after a lot of probing and nudging from his girlfriend, Saki, the blond had returned to town. He lived with Saki, who didn't go to school, but he spent as much time as he could with Mikado, and with their other friend, Anri. Things were almost back to normal, which was good, but Kida was still shifty and nervous; Mikado could tell.

The school came into view and so did a familiar face with brown eyes, glasses, and short black hair. Anri Sonohara waved at the two boys, smiling brightly as they approached her. "Good morning, you two."

"Good morning, Anri," Kida flashed a charming smile at her as he slung an arm around Mikado's shoulders. "Shall the tree of us head to class?"

Anri giggled softly and nodded. "Yeah, you guys barely made it on time you know."

"Masaomi was the one who was walking slow," Mikado huffed lightly.

The blond gasped dramatically, clutching his heart. "Mikado, how rude!"

"I believe it," Anri smiled, making Masaomi whine. "You can be pretty slow, Masaomi..."

"Just pour salt in the wound, why don't you?" Masaomi muttered sourly. "You two are against me, I knew it."

"Big baby," Mikado laughed, elbowing his friend gently.

* * *

Panting, the girl shook her brother's shoulder roughly, over and over. "Kei...! Kei, get up!"

From her brother, the red haired girl received only a groan and her eyes widened as she whipped her head around to stare at the masked man before her. A shudder ran through her and she pulled her twin brother's body closer, clinging to him as her kakugan turned the white of her eyes black, turned her pupils red. A pointed tail, sharpened and curved and red in color swayed behind her. The man in the mask laughed.

"You're going to use your kagune against me? Really?" He asked.

"Leave me and my brother alone!" The girl screamed. In her arms, her brother groaned softly and started to move.

The man in the mask chuckled, cocking his head to the side. "I don't have time for games.

The red haired girl trembled as she looked at her brother, saw his tentacled rinkaku lying limply under him, and let out a hiss through her teeth. Foot steps came closer, and her heart pounded against her rib cage as she looked up. The last thing she saw before the man crowded in on her was the tattoo around his neck elegant and dark.

" Νεχ ποσσυμ τεχυμ ωιωερε, νεχ σινε τε.

Nec possum tecum vivere, nec sine te "

_"I can live neither with you,_

_nor without you."_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this one was hard.

He hated violence.

"You son of a bitch!" A fist flew. A body hit the wall across the street.

Really, he despised violence more than most things.

"Damn annoying people!" Citizens scattered. He clenched his fists and looked down at his ruined cigarette on the ground.

He was the living embodiment of violence, this Heiwajima Shizuo. Tall, with blonde hair and mocha eyes. That guy that everyone mistook for a bartender, the one who worked for Tom Tanaka. Shizuo sighed heavily as he looked at Tom, then at the unconscious body of the man in debt across the street. "...Sorry."

"He was asking for it," Tom relented with a shrug. He shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking, Shizuo following. "You seem a little more worked up than usual, though. Everything okay?"

Shizuo scoffed under his breath before he shrugged. "I guess not seeing that Flea for a while is bugging me. He's up to something."

Tom smiled a bit to himself. "Izaya? Yeah, probably. It wouldn't surprise me."

"I don't get why it surprises anyone," Shizuo muttered sourly. They turned a corner and Shizuo watched as people scattered at the sight of him.

He hated it, really.

"You up for some lunch?" Tom's voice cut through his mini train of thought.

Shizuo shrugged. "Sure, you pick the place this time."

Lunch sounded good, to be honest. It was one of the times Shizuo looked forward to the most during the day, mainly because the food was good and talking to Tom was nice. Tom had always had a good head on his shoulders which was something Shizuo found admirable. Ina city like there's, common sense and decency was a rare combination.

"Hey, you hear about the ghoul killings?" Tom asked.

Shizuo blinked a bit behind his glasses. "I only heard about one. Some Raira kid."

"No, there were a few, Tom replied with a small frown. "The Raira girl, a middle school boy down by the station and some woman that was found over by the docks, totally ripped to shreds."

"Dude, gross," Shizuo muttered, feeling his stomach churn a little. "I didn't hear about those other two on the news."

"They tried to keep it hush-hush, but it was a murder so they leaked," Tom explained. "Ghouls are really starting to come out. Hasn't been like that since we were kids."

Shizuo thought about that, because he'd forgotten how small he'd been when ghouls had first been in Ikkebukuro. It made him shiver, remembering the way his heart had pounded against his rib cage when he saw that ghoul before...

"You've seen one before," Tom chimed in again. "How old were you, again?"

Shizuo gave a lazy roll of his shoulders. "Seven, maybe? I don't know, I was small."

"What was it like?"

"The ghoul?"

"Yeah."

Shizuo didn't reply right away, frowning as he tried to remember. That night it had been raining, he was walking home from Shinra's house. He knew he was going to be in trouble for being so late going home, was prepared for being grounded or scolded. To save time, though, he had cut through one of the parks, and that's where he'd seen it.

The ghoul-a woman-was sitting underneath the cover of a slide and at first, Shizuo had been sure it was a regular person in need of help...

The man frowned again and shook his head, remembering too much blood and wide, red and black ghoul eyes. "I don't remember it very well. Sorry."

"Shouldn't have asked," Tom murmured with a small, apologetic smile. He nudged the other lightly. "After work you want to get dinner? Unless you plan on dinning on packaged ramen again tonight?"

Shizuo scoffed. "Dinner sounds-"

"Aw, Shizu-Chan has a date!"

Tom mentally groaned as the voice reached his ear, watching as Shizuo stiffened and snarled. Shizuo whirled around and faced the owner of that voice, eye twitching as Izaya waved at him from a few yards away. "You!"

"Me," Izaya grinned, cocking his head to the side. "Lovely afternoon, isn't it?"

"The hell are you doing here?" Shizuo snarled. "You've been out of my sight for days, so what the hell?"

"I decided that I've gone far too long without seeing your face," Izaya replied smoothly as he grinned wider. "So, here I am!"

Shizuo's eye twitched in irritation. He could barely see Tom from the corner of his eye, moving aside in case Shizuo decided to chase down that irritating Flea.

He just might, after all.

"I was hoping you were dead," Shizuo grunted as he frowned again. "Guess I was wrong."

"Oh, as if I'd die," Izaya sighed and shrugged. "Weren't you supposed to be the one to kill me, after all?"

"Damn right," Shizuo snapped as he took a step forward. Izaya's stupid grin was making his blood boil. "What the fuck did you really want?"

Izaya hummed and stepped closer, hands shoved in the pockets of his stupid, furry coat. "I came to see you, like I said. Shizu-Chan is so cute when he's angry~"

Shizuo's final wall of patience crumbled and he yelled, a loud and angry sound as his hand wrapped around the pole of the stop sign beside him. It screeched, loud and unrelenting, as Shizuo tore it from the ground. Izaya was already running, maniacal laughter spilling from his lips as Shizuo rushed after him.

Citizens scattered, used to the violence that occurred when the two men were near each other. Shizuo's anger was boiling over.

How dare that flea call him cute!

How dare that flea tease him!

How dare that flea  _live_.

It was infuriating the way Izaya glided down the street, avoiding everything while Shizuo stomped and yelled and broke everything that he ran into. Izaya was flawlessly agile. Shizuo was painfully destructive. He hated the informant for that, and he chased after him with a rage filled yell. "Iiiiiizzzaaayyyyaaaa!"

His name on Shizuo's lips was like music to his ears and Izaya smirked wider as he turned a sharp corner, nearly tripping. He stumbled a little and caught himself, ducking into an alley way and panting softly as he heard Shizuo's footsteps rush after not too far behind him. His pocket was vibrating insistently, an email most likely. He fished out his phone as he panted softly, flipping it open to see the email displayed.

From: Uta-San

'Ready for pick up whenever you are. Back at the warehouse.'

Izaya smirked slowly and put his phone back in his pocket, silently watching as Shizuo darted past the alley he was hidden in. He would have loved to extend their chase, enjoy their game a little more like usual, but he could wait for another time.

The real game was about to start.

Izaya slipped from the alley and into the street. The warm afternoon sun warmed his skin as he skipped down the side walk, Shizuo's angry yelling echoing a street away.

* * *

"Are you staying inside with Saki tonight?" Anri adjusted her glasses as she walked between the two boys. School had let out, finally.

Masaomi shrugged. "She said she wanted to actually go out and do something, so probably not. Hey!" He gasped and grinned brightly at the two. "How about all four of us go out? We can all pitch in for that cool karaoke bar."

Anri smiled and nodded. "Sure, that sounds like fun." She looked over at Mikado and tilted her head curiously. "What do you think, Mikado?"

Mikado gave a small shrug and smiled a little. "Sure, sounds like fun. We can pick up Saki and head over there now."

"Great!" Masaomi whipped out his phone and grinned. "I'll shoot her a text right now and tell her to get ready, then. Thanks for including her, guys."

It always made Masaomi happy to know that his friends accepted his girlfriend so readily. That's what friends were for, he knew; support and love. It was reassuring, nice, and it was a sign that maybe things were going t be okay.

He hoped, at least.

Saki was waiting outside of the apartment when they arrived. She made her way down the stairs and into Masaomi's arms, smiling into his shoulder before she stepped back and grinned at Mikado and Anri. "Hi, guys."

"Hi, Saki," Anri waved and smiled softly. "How are you?"

Saki shrugged softly and smiled again. "I'm alright. I have a job interview next week at a restaurant a few blocks over."

"That's great," Mikado chirped, trying to seem happy for her. He was happy, really, but he wasn't sure what to really make of Saki. She was Masaomi's girlfriend, though; he had to like her, and he really was trying to.

The four of them walked to the karaoke bar. It wasn't Mikado's thing, really, but it was better than sitting in his apartment alone all night. That sort of night led to boredom, checking The Dollars home page a hundred different times. It was probably alive with comments about the ghoul attacks; Mikado didn't want to read those right now. If anything, it's probably give him weird dreams or keep him up all night, paranoid.

He didn't need that at all.

It wasn't like he didn't have fun. It was a riot watching Masaomi sing at the top of his lungs in some lame voice. It was down right cute to see him and Saki sing together, like two love birds. Mikado had been content to sit at their table, sipping his drink and picking at the food that they had ordered. The idea of going up to sing, even if it was just in front of his friends, made his heart beat a little faster and made him slightly sick. His nerves always got the best of him. He liked watching Saki and Anri sing, though. It was a little refreshing to see Anri warming up to them, seeing her let lose. Of course she still looked slightly nervous; slightly blushing and a little shaky in the hands. She was trying, though, and the fact that she was slowly getting more and more comfortable was something refreshing.

If Mikado still had a crush on her, he might have actually tried to ask her out. Those feelings were pretty dead, now, and he wasn't sure why. The absence of those feelings made him bitter, a little.

Mikado jerked in surprise when Masaomi plopped down beside him, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "Hey man, spacing out?"

"Sort of," Mikado admitted with a soft laugh. He shrugged slightly and leaned into Masaomi, a little relieved when the blond leaned into him, as well. "I think I'm just tired."

Masaomi glanced at him before he looked back towards the two singing girls. "Something bothering you?"

"I don't know," Mikado admitted. "Figuring some stuff out; I'm good, really."

The blond had every idea to argue, like always, but he nodded. He didn't want to force anything, so he nodded. "Well, we can talk about it later. Why don't you watch how cute Anri's being, huh?"

Mikado rolled his eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Cute? Yeah, I guess..."

Their night was fun, really, but it seemed dull. Mikado had to admit, though, that anything mundane would always seem dull. There was that nagging need for something exciting, but acting on that need had nearly gotten his friends killed once before.

He could settle for boring, for their sake.

* * *

He hummed lightly to himself as he watched Izaya walk down the stairs. The informant looked giddy, excited, and it made Uta smile a little. "My my, having a good day?"

"Very much so," Izaya replied cheerily as he shrugged. He walked over and stood in front of Uta, hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket. "You got back to me faster than I expected."

"They died faster than expected," Uta replied. He lifted a hand and gestured with his fingers for Izaya to follow him. He smiled when the informant did so and he led him across the room, where shelves held bloodied medical tools, where a medical stretcher and examination table sat idly. Everything was covered in dried blood. The tools on the shelves, the table and stretcher. Spots of blood were on the floor, some splattered on Uta's shirt, now that Izaya got a good look at him.

There was a container on top of the bloodied table, large and square. Izaya cocked his head to the side. "They're in that?"

"Mhm," Uta nodded and patted the container as he smiled. "Now, I believe the origins of these parts will interest you."

Izaya nodded. "Very much so. Please, explain."

"These parts were acquired from twins," Uta explained. "But their kagune types were very different, mind you; it happens when two parent ghouls of different types breed."

"Then what did you bring me?" Izaya questioned. He walked closer and eyed the container before he met Uta's gaze.

The ghoul smirked slowly. "The girl had the  _Bikaku_  type kagune. The bikaku is a tail like type, better suited for mid-range fighting. It's fairly fast, and this particular ghoul was fairly good with it."

Izaya let the information sink in and nodded slowly. "Bikaku...alright, and the other twin?"

"The brother," Uta smiled as he drummed his fingers over the top of the box. "Was a rarer type. Like most ghoul children with parents with different kagune types, he took on both of the parents kagunes. He had  _Rinkaku_ , which takes on the appearance of tentacles. They're very good for distance. He also had  _Koukaku_ , which is like a shell." He paused to reach up and pat his own shoulder. "It sprouts from the back of the shoulder, most times it curls around the arm and points out. It's a very heavy type of kagune, very durable and strong. I took those parts, instead; you never did specify what you wanted, after all."

Izaya watched as the ghoul walked closer. Uta's head tilted as he brought blood dried fingertips to his lips and, slowly, licked away the dried blood. "Are you satisfied with this?"

"I suppose," Izaya shrugged lazily and smiled. "How long do I have until the parts aren't good to use anymore?"

"Tomorrow night would be the last night they'd be good," Uta murmured absently as he walked past Izaya. "I suggest gathering up that brute man and whoever else you chose soon."

"Brute man," Izaya murmured, looking over his shoulder to frown at the other.

"Heiwajima-Kun," Uta replied casually. He turned and stared at Izaya, wide eyed. "You didn't think I didn't do my own research on you, did you?"

"Research," Izaya scoffed. "So, what did you find out?"

"You have two sisters, high school aged. Twins," Uta replied. "They live with your mother and father. You have an obsession with one Heiwajima Shizuo, the man you usually have fights with in town. A young woman by the name of Namie works for you. Her little brother's name is Seiji. Namie doesn't like you much." He paused, watching how Izaya's eyes widened only a fraction.

Izaya scoffed. "Most people know those things."

"You love humans, and you caused quite an uproar between those three children a while ago," Uta continued. "Oh, but most people know that, too?"

The ghoul walked closer and Izaya frowned, stepping back until the cold metal of the examination table was pressing into his back. Uta leaned in and brought a hand up to touch Izaya's cheek curiously. "You don't get very close to people; maybe you're afraid to. You don't know how to, maybe? Probably. You like to watch and start problems because you love to see how people react. You love the raw emotions of humans, you love knowing that you can provoke such things from the depths of someone's fragile heart-"

"I didn't come here to be psychoanalyzed by a ghoul," Izaya snapped, slapping away Uta's hand and narrowing his eyes. "...Are we done here?"

"If you want to be," Uta shrugged and smiled again. "I'll have some men help you get that into a car."

"I have a rental car in front of the warehouse," Izaya murmured. He watched Uta nod, waiting until the ghoul was a good distance away before speaking up again. "Don't try to get in my head anymore, hm? I rather like you as a business partner, after all."

"I suppose I could say the same," Uta shrugged. He bit his lip idly before he continued. "It'd be a shame if I had to kill you after all of this."

Izaya frowned a little.  _Like you'd ever get the chance._

* * *

"We stayed out a lot later than I was expecting," Saki giggled softly as she linked her arm with Masaomi's. It was dark out side, now, and kind of chilly. "I'm sorry, guys; I know you all have school tomorrow."

"It's really no problem," Anri assured with a small shrug. "It was fun, so it's okay. Besides, we don't live too far from here, so it really isn't a problem."

Saki still looked apologetic, but she nodded. "Well, still. Be safe walking home you guys."

Masaomi and Saki always parted way early from them, something about stopping at a shop they both liked. It was one of their romantic things they did; Mikado thought it was kind of cute.

Saki and Masaomi parted ways, Masaomi being sure to tel Mikado to text him once he was home. It was just he and Anri now, and Mikado felt a wave of nerves wash over him. He forced them down and smiled at Anri as they continued walking. "You sang really well earlier, Anri..."

Anri blinked and then smiled softly. "I think Saki was a lot better, but thank you, Mikado. You should have tried; Masaomi wanted to sing with you."

"I'm a horrible singer," Mikado chuckled.  _I'm not good like any of you are._

Anri smiled again. "I'm sure you're just fine at it; give yourself a little more credit."

Mikado looked over at her, felt himself smile awkwardly. "I know, I try."  _Credit for what, though? I don't do anything..._

The girl tore her gaze away from Mikado and looked up at the sky. "You know, I'm glad all of that stuff with the Yellow Scarves is over with. Masaomi seems a lot happier."

"Yeah," Mikado breathed, smiling a bit as they turned a corner. "He is, and I'm glad that he is. It makes me happy to see him less stressed out."

"Yeah," Anri nodded. She looked back at Mikado and her smile faded a bit. "Are you happy, too?"

Mikado glanced at her, watched the way the headlights of the passing cars illuminated her face. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just don't seem entirely here," She replied slowly. "You space out a lot. Masaomi's been a little worried, but if there's something on your mind and you don't want him to know, you can always talk to me." She paused and reached out, nudging the boy's hand with her own lightly. "Only if you want to, though. Okay? That's what friends are here for...we should all know that."

Mikado smiled and nodded as he looked at the ground. "I just have some things on my mind, but it's nothing to worry about. "

"You're sure?"

"I think so."

"That's better than nothing, at least..."

Mikado cracked a slightly wider smile. "I guess so."

"I have to leave here," Anri paused at a corner, smiling gently. "I'll see you at school."

"Wait," He blinked and looked around before he frowned. "...You sure you're safe walking home alone? I mean those ghoul attacks..."

"I'll be okay," She assured with a small shake of her head. "My area stays pretty populate until midnight, so it'll be okay. Make sure you get home safe, Mikado...text me when you get there."

Mikado wasn't very fond of the idea of Anri walking alone, but he nodded. "...I will. See you tomorrow."

Mikado stood on the corner until Anri was out of sight, and then he sighed deeply. He turned and started walking again, humming lightly to himself. He was half expecting to see Celty tonight. However, the closer he got to his apartment, the more he figured he probably wouldn't see the headless rider that night. It was slightly disappointing, but Celty had her life, too. It wasn't like Mikado could do anything about that.

Vaguely, he registered the sound of a cross walk signalling him to walk. He stepped out into the street as he heaved a sigh.

The rush of headlights nearly blinded him, a yell tearing from his lips as he jumped back. Breaks screeched, tires skidding across the street, and Mikado let out another yell as he felt his head collide with the street below him. His vision swam a little and he winced, groaning softly as the sound of a car door opening reached his ears, followed by a voice that made his head throb.

"Ne, Mikado, shouldn't you look both ways before crossing a street?"

Mikado groaned again and opened his eyes again, seeing the infamous informant staring down at him, amused. Izaya waved and giggled. "That fall looked like it hurt."

"It did," Mikado murmured. He winced as he sat up, and hesitated when Izaya held a hand out to him. He took it, though, and let Izaya pull him to his feet before he took a few steps back. A black car was behind Izaya, and Mikado had no idea that the informant even knew how to drive. He frowned and rubbed the back of his head. "You almost hit me..."

"I was careful," Izaya smiled. He glanced back at the car before he looked at Mikado. "You're still some ways away from your apartment, hm? Why don't you let me give you a ride? It's dangerous outside, you know. Ghouls running lose..."

Mikado shuddered a bit and frowned. Getting into Izaya's car was just asking for trouble, but walking in the dark wasn't exactly very appealing. Mikado chewed his lower lip in thought before he glanced at Izaya. "...Take me straight home and no where else?"

Izaya smiled and nodded. "Yes, yes. You have my word."

"Like that's reassuring," Mikado muttered, giving in and walking over to the passenger seat. He got into the car and frowned a little, setting his school bag on the floor and glancing in the back.

A large container sat in the back seat and Mikado squinted as Izaya got into the driver's seat. "What's in the container?"

"None of your business," Izaya replied with a grin, buckling his seat belt. "Secret stuff. Don't be nosey."

"You're one to talk," Mikado murmured softly.

Izaya hummed in thought as they started driving. "No Masaomi today?"

"He's already home," Mikado murmured.

"Ah, a night out with friends? Cute."

"Something you can't do?"

"Rude." Izaya gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and Mikado almost laughed at how odd the sight was. "Mikado, what do you know about ghouls?"

Mikado frowned at the road and shifted a little bit in his seat. Izaya's car was warm. "Not much...they eat flesh and they're dangerous. I know something happened recently in the Twentieth Ward with some Ghoul they called Eye Patch...some big fight that happened. But I don't really know anything else."

Izaya smiled a little bit. "Do you know how to tell if someone is a ghoul?"

Mikado hesitated. "...No."

"They can't eat human food," Izaya stated softly. "It's disgusting to them...of course, there are many who have found ways to work around that. You really can't tell at all, to be honest...Ghouls are quite interesting."

"More than humans?"

"Nothing is more interesting than humans."

"Ghouls are different, though."

"They're predictable," Izaya shrugged as the car turned a corner. He glanced at Mikado and smirked a little. "You should be more careful walking around. CCG will have patrols here soon, of course, but still."

"What, you're suddenly concerned about my well being?" Mikado scoffed as he looked out the window. "Thanks but you can stop."

"So mean," Izaya mock sighed. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel before he continued. "You could eve have a Ghoul as a member of the Dollars...how scary."

"...I'd rather not consider that." Mikado stated softly. "So stop. Please."

"Fine, fine," Izaya relented and shrugged. "...On a lighter note, how have you been, Mikado?"

"I was great until you tried to run me over," Mikado admitted.

"It was an accident," Izaya huffed.

"Nothing you ever do is an accident..."

Izaya smiled. "You know me so well, Mikado. Have you been spying on me? Are you really that bored with mundane life already?"

Mikado didn't reply, biting the inside of his cheek . He'd never been happier to see his apartment complex and he gathered his things as Izaya stopped the car. He paused and glanced at the informant and sighed, "Thanks for the ride, Izaya."

"It was my pleasure," Izaya sang. He waved a little. "Sleep well, Mikado~"

Izaya watched as the boy walked up the stairs to his apartment, a small smirk tugging at his lips. Oh yes, Mikado was definitely bored. He was bored and Izaya had the best cure for that.

He pulled out his phone and dialed a quick number. "Ne, Uta-San? I'm going to need a hand or two in gathering my play things."


	3. Chapter 3

" _The body of a young boy was found in the subway station early this morning. The boy was confirmed to be ten years of age. His family refused to comment. The police have confirmed that it was yet another Ghoul killing. It is highly recommended that you do not go out late at night if it can be helped. Walk in groups, children stay with adults._ "

The morning's news report echoed in his head and frankly, Shizuo couldn't stand it. His apartment complex was close to the station the body was found in, had been basically down the street...

He shuddered at the thought. He could have been outside. What if he had been? What would have happened?

Shizuo wasn't one for paranoia or worried thoughts. He hardly ever worried like this. It wasn't in his nature, really, but he couldn't shake the creeping fear. He blamed it on the ghoul talk and on the repetitive vision of the ghoul from when he was a child...

"Hey, Shizuo are you listening?"

Shizuo blinked and looked over at Tom, who was looking at him expectantly. "Uh...sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying?"

"I asked what went down with Izaya yesterday," Tom replied with a small smile. "You ran off and I didn't get the chance to ask after, since you went home."

Shizuo scowled as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "The bastard disappeared. He ran off and couldn't find him."

"Lucky for him this time around," Tom chuckled as they turned a corner. "Next time, big guy."

Shizuo scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah..."

Around them, students were on their way to school. Shizuo knew the Raira uniform, noticed some faces of regular students he passed each morning. Shizuo sort of liked walking around the students more than he liked walking around the rest of the town. It was weird, really, but he felt like the students didn't mind him much. Adults always veered away from him, pulled their little kids closer and hushed them when they saw Shizuo walking down the street. The students, the teenagers, were different.

Teenagers were too absorbed in their own lives. They were all worried about who was sleeping with who. They were too captivated by their hobbies and their friends. They didn't care much that Heiwajima Shizuo, the Monster of Ikkebukuro, was walking down the street by them. It was refreshing. Some of them even waved at him or gave him a soft smile. Shizuo liked teenagers.

They were complicated, but that complicated side to them is what made them not care about things that didn't concern them.

Speaking of teenagers, Shizuo recognized one of them. He titled his head at the black haired boy ahead of them and was  _sure_  that it was who he thought it was. Shizuo excused himself from Tom and hurried ahead. "Hey, kid."

Mikado stiffened and looked over his shoulder. Shizuo paused at the wide eyed expression before he gave a soft sigh.  _Right, this kid is skittish..._

"S-Shizuo," Mikado murmured as he turned to fully face the man. "Ah, good morning..."

Shizuo gave a small nod. "Sorry to just come out of the blue. Ah...you're the kid that was caught up in that gang bullshit a few months back, right?"

Mikado looked a little relieved to know that Shizuo seemed unsure about his identity. He smiled shyly and nodded. "Yeah, my names Mikado."

"Right," Shizuo nodded. "Your friend was in the hospital, huh? Or...I think he was? Kadota was talking about it before..."

"Oh!" Mikado blinked in surprise before he nodded again. "Y-yeah, he was but he's fine now. Thank you for the concern...it's certainly uh...unexpected."

Shizuo shrugged slowly. "Well, you were caught up in something that the bastard Izaya screwed up. He messes people up...you're just kids so, I wanted to check."

Mikado smiled a little bit. "I get it...we're all okay, I think. Thanks, though..."

Shizuo nodded, glancing over as Tom got nearer. He looked back at Mikado and shooed him away with his hand. "Go on and get to school; don't be a punk and ditch...not that you look like you even would."

Mikado wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh or feel offended, but a nervous chuckle passed his lips anyways. "S-see you around, I-"

"Mikado!"

Shizuo jerked back as he watched the blue eyed boy almost fall over, some blond kid wrapped around him. The blond boy squinted brown eyes at Shizuo before they widened and he looked back at Mikado, then Shizuo again. "Whoa, am I interrupting something important?"

"No, just leaving." Shizuo assured as he nodded at Mikado. "Later."

Masaomi squinted as he watched Shizuo, and Tom walk away. He looked back at Mikado and arched an eyebrow at him. "...So you talk to Shizuo, now?"

"Not...not really," Mikado murmured with a shrug. "He kind of just came up to me...I mean he recognized me from a...a thing from a while ago."

"A  _thing_ ," Masaomi echoed with a scoff. "Okay, yeah. What, can't get Anri so you're hitting on older men now?"

"Masaomi!" Mikado gasped. He frowned and shoved Masaomi in the direction of the school. "Don't get the wrong idea, jeeze..."

Masaomi giggled and waved it off as the two of them started walking. "Whatever, man...just be careful if you're going to be talking with that guy. Izaya's got some sick claim over him, or so it seems so...be careful."

Mikado was reminded of his car ride with Izaya, but it wouldn't have been wise to mention that to Masaomi. He chuckled and nodded slowly. "Izaya has a claim on him? I thought Izaya was just stalking him."

"A sick claim, like I said!" Masaomi practically wailed, grabbing Mikado's arm. "Like...It's weird, you know? They hate each other, but Izaya's always thinking about him."

"Maybe it's best not to dwell on that," Mikado offered as they turned a corner. "I mean...Izaya's romantic interests and weird hobbies aren't something I like to think about."

Masaomi shuddered, nodding hurriedly. "Good point..."

Anri was waiting for them at school and she smiled when they came walking up to her. "Good morning, boys."

"Good morning," Masaomi grinned.

Anri glanced at Mikado. "Did you get home safe? You never sent me a text...I got kind of worried."

Mikado blinked before he gasped. "Ah, I'm sorry! I got distracted on the way home and forgot..."

"Distracted by what?" Masaomi chirped.

Mikado hesitated.  _By the man you hate the most..._

"I saw a few people I knew and talked." Mikado hated lying, he really did.

"So scatter brained," Anri sighed, smiling a little. "Well, you got home safe so that's what matters."

* * *

Shizuo got weird on days when there were no rough debt owners to collect from. Tom noticed it sometimes. When Shizuo wasn't chasing around people or throwing someone around, the blond got a little pent up. It was one of those days, and when it came time for Shizuo to part ways, Tom was actually kind of hoping Izaya would show up just so Shizuo had some way to let out whatever irritation was pent up inside of him.

They were just leaving Russia Sushi, and Tom paused to lightly jab Shizuo gently. "Walk safe, okay?"

"I can take care of myself," Shizuo muttered as he stared walking. He waved idly. "Later, man."

The streets were as busy as ever, bustling with life. Most people avoided him, not that he cared much right now. He was annoyed and tired and wanted to go home and sleep. It was too early, though, and there was no way he could fall asleep so early. He thought about going straight home, but his apartment was...less than entertaining.

He ducked into a bar, the first bar he'd gone into alone in months. People didn't really glance at him when he walked in and sat down in a secluded booth in the back. The waitress took his order, a simple beer, and then left him alone. He fiddled around on his phone, taking in the local news on The Dollars.

A group of straggling Yellow Scarves causing trouble in Shinjuku. He didn't care about that.

Some Dollar members doing a fundraiser, asking for support. He didn't care much about that, either.

Ghoul murders popping up around the city. A few sightings in Shinjuku and central Ikkebukuro. CCG moving in. Shizuo was a bit more interested in that. CCG never had a huge place in Ikkebukuro since it went inactive. The thought of the investigators finally coming back into the city was relieving. It made him feel a little safer.

The waitress came back and gave Shizuo his beer and flashed him a flirty smile before she walked off. The flirtatious smile made Shizuo smile just a little as he took a sip of his beer, but his smile faded away as a shadow fell over him. A man stood before him, a man with pitch black hair that was tied up out of his face. He wore sunglasses over his eyes, though why Shizuo had no idea, and had a pierced lip. His neck, on full display because of the open collared shirt he was wearing, had some sort of language tattooed on it. It looked nice, Shizuo would admit, but this guy was sketchy.

The guy cocked his head at Shizuo and gestured to the seat across from him. "Is this seat taken?"

Shizuo blinked and frowned a little. "No..."

This strange man smiled and sat down across from Shizuo, propping his chin in his palm. Shizuo took another drink of his beer and frowned again. "...Can I help you?"

"You're Heiwajima Shizuo, yes?" The man asked casually, turning and gesturing for the waitress to come over.

"Depends on who's asking," Shizuo muttered.

"Ah, where are my manners?" The man chuckled. He sat back a little and pulled off his sunglasses, extending his other hand towards Shizuo's. "My name is Uta."

Shizuo choked on the beer he was swallowing, eyes widening at the black and red colored eyes that stared at him brightly. Uta blinked in confusion and Shizuo pressed back against his seat. "Y-your fucking eyes...!"  _Ghoul...?!_

"Oh, you like?" Uta grinned. "They're sclera tattoo; it fades in a few years. Cool, yeah?"

The blond gulped, inwardly annoyed at how easily he let himself freak out, and then he frowned. "...They look like ghoul eyes, you know..."

"Oh, I know." Uta chuckled. "It probably wasn't the best idea at the time, but I think it looks good on me."

"Convincing," Shizuo nodded, glancing away awkwardly. "There a reason you're here or...?"

Uta hummed, smiling as the waitress finally made their way over to them. "Rum and coke, my dear?"

The waitress giggled and nodded, glancing again at Shizuo before she walked away. Uta looked back at him, smile apologetic. "I'm sorry, I suppose I should have explained myself. I'm visiting here on business, see, and I've heard a lot about you. The strongest man in Ikkebukuro...I wasn't sure if I could believe the rumors around the city...and well, Izaya Orihara's words didn't seem very convincing."

Shizuo's eye twitched. "Izaya? You're doing business with him?"

"No," Uta shook his head slowly. "I know him from previous excursions. He and I exchanged words and you came up. Nothing bad, I assure you."

The idea of Izaya talking about him to other people made Shizuo irritated. The fact that it wasn't bad talk, though, confused him slightly. He sighed heavily and took another swig of his beer. He held it out to Uta. "Want a drink, since you're waiting for your drink?"

"You're not going to make me leave?" Uta wondered, slowly taking the offered beer. He took a drink and squinted at the bottle before he looked at Shizuo, waiting for a reply.

"I don't have a reason to make you leave," Shizuo muttered. "I'm strong, not an asshole. Don't piss me off and we're fine."

"Ahhh, so much nicer than Izaya said," Uta gushed, handing Shizuo his beer again. The waitress returned and gave Uta his drink. Uta ushered her away and smiled at the blond, who was looking at him in what could only be explained as mild confusion. "So, Heiwajima-San, I hear the CCG is going to be recruiting new members once they station here in Ikkebukuro again. Have you ever considered studying to become a CCG investigator?"

"There was never a need for me to consider that," Shizuo muttered simply. "CCG wasn't around...ever. We haven't had ghoul attacks here until recently. It never crossed my mind. Why do you ask?"

"Well, if the rumors I've heard about your strength are true, you'd make an excellent CCG investigator," Uta gushed softly, sipping his drink. "The strength I hear you have would be a wonderful advantage."

"I like the job I have right now."

"Debt collecting? Why?"

"It's safe."

Uta paused and smirked slowly. "You're afraid of ghouls?"

"Isn't everyone?" Shizuo asked softly.

Uta giggled a little and shrugged, reaching into his pocket. "Do you like candy?"

Shizuo blinked, not getting a chance to reply. Uta tossed a piece of candy to him, smiling. "Strawberry flavored. It's good."

Shizuo wasn't sure what to think of this guy as he popped a candy into his mouth. The candy was good, though, and Shizuo didn't feel an immediate need to get rid of this guy. "You're not afraid of ghouls?"

Uta hummed in though, staring at the ice that moved around in his glass as he moved it. "I don't have very much experience with them, so I can't say."

Shizuo nodded as he drank the last of his beer to chase down the lingering taste of strawberry candy. A shiver of warmth spread in his stomach and chest and he frowned a little bit, checking the time. "Ah, I hate to up and leave man, but I have work tomorrow so-"

"It's fine," Uta waved him off. "I'll pay for your beer, just go. It was a pleasure meeting you, Heiwajima-San."

Shizuo could feel this strange man's eyes on him as he left. Or, maybe, he was just imagining things. His head was starting to feel a little fuzzy as he walked out of the bar, which was strange because it took a lot more than  _one_  beer to get him anywhere close to buzzed, let alone drunk. His head sort of felt hot and he tried to shake it off as he walked down the street.

People walked around him, keeping a distance from him as he always expected. TV's in the windows of shops were showing a clip from his little brother;s new movie. His hazy mind struggled to remember that Kasuka was going to call soon...but when?

He grunted softly as he paused to lean against the wall of a building, running his hand through his hair. The voices of the people passing him was blending with the sound of cars, with horns honking and the wind blowing. He looked over his shoulder, a frown on his lips when he realized he had only walked a few yards from the bar.

When had this street gotten so long?

Why did it seem like he was taking forever to leave?

Where was he even  _going_?

Nothing was making sense suddenly and Shizuo blinked once, twice, and then a third time, trying to force away his blurry vision. "Fuck..."

The cement below him rushed at him too quickly before his vision went black entirely.

The street remained busy, people walking by and paying no attention what so ever. A soft, amused chuckle passed a pair of lips as Uta stepped out of the shadow of an alley to look down at Shizuo's unconscious body. "I was hoping one candy would do the trick." He sighed and pulled out his cell phone, dialing a quick number.

"Hello~?"

"Izaya, I've got Heiwajima-San," Uta replied as he smiled to himself. "My men will be here in a moment to help me get him to the warehouse. Now, where's this high school boy you mentioned?"

* * *

Mikado hadn't walked home alone very often. He usually walked half way with Anri, but Anri had made plans with one of the girls from their class, which was cool. Mikado was glad Anri was finding time for other people. Masaomi had run off early with Saki so Mikado had ventured to stay behind in class to clean up. Cleaning up had been a weak attempt at passing time, which left him walking home as the sun was starting to set.

He'd checked the Dollars earlier. There's been some Ghoul talk, stuff about possible ghoul hideouts and comments about the recent deaths. There'd been a small conversation about Heiwajima Shizuo ducking into a bar, though Mikado didn't take very much interest in that. Shizuo's personal life really wasn't any concern to him. Aside from earlier that morning, he hardly ever had any contact with Shizuo at all.

The streets were as busy as usual which was probably why he hadn't noticed the person watching him. When he did notice, though, Mikado nearly stumbled and gripped his school bag a little tighter as he stopped on the corner of the street. This man certainly looked strange, even for Ikkebukuro standards. Even though the sun was setting, he had on a pair of sunglasses. He was pale, a smile on his lips as he approached Mikado happily. Mikado bit his lip, watching this man come closer, and his eyes fell to some weird letters tattooed on the man's neck.

"Excuse me, but I think you can assist me," The man said, stopping nearly a foot away from the boy.

Mikado blinked and mentally groaned. "With...what? I sort of have to go home..."

"Oh, no worries, it's nothing time consuming!" The other assured with a small wave of the hand. He shrugged off a back pack and unzipped it, flashing another smile. "See, I've got a ton of this candy. Some big Russian guy gave it to me...?"

"Big Russian guy," Mikado murmured. "Oh, Simon? Yeah, he does that...I'm guessing that you're not from here...?"

The man glanced up and chuckled. "Is it that obvious?"

"Just a little," Mikado relaxed a little and watched the man remove a plastic bag filled with candy. He blinked. "Simon gave you all of that?"

"It kind of caught me off guard," The man admitted as he peered into the bag. He reached in and fished out a piece, holding it out to the teenager before him. "I mean it isn't bad or anything I just don't really eat candy, you know?"

Mikado figured this guy wasn't any trouble. Sure he was...weird, and a little in your face, but he seemed kind. Just a tourist.

Mikado smiled and took the offered candy, unwrapping it slowly. "Simon likes to catch the attention of guests for his Sushi shop. He's nice, really." He assured as he popped the candy into his mouth.

The man smiled wider. "Ah, well he kind of intimidated me to be honest. I couldn't really reject whatever he was giving to me, but I didn't know it was candy until I walked away. You're a teenager, I figured you and your friends could eat it. Better than it going to waste, hm?"

Mikado reached out and took the bag from the stranger and shrugged. "My best friend has a pretty big sweet tooth so I'm sure we can eat it all."

"Ah, you're such a live safer!" The man gushed. He paused and pulled out a phone, checking the time. "Oh, so sorry but I'm running really late for meeting with an old friend! Thank you so much, really. Walk safe!"

Mikado blinked, slightly confused as he watched the strange man hurry away. He glanced down at the candy in his arms and then sighed.  _I really am too nice to some people..._

Mikado started walking again, a slight breeze blowing in and making him shiver just a little bit. The candy in his arms started to feel heavy by the time he trudged into his apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. He set the candy down and frowned, rubbing his temples as a wave of head washed over him.

"Heat stroke...?" He murmured as he went to the kitchen. Each step he took felt hard, like he had weights on his legs. He wondered if he as sick; he'd shared a bunch of drinks with Masaomi at the karaoke bar the previous night. Maybe he'd caught a bug?

The glass from his cabinet felt heavier than ever. His hands were shaking and he grit his teeth, clasping both hands around the cup as he leaned heavily into the counter. "Wh-what the hell...?"

The urge to yell, a panic reaction, was strong but his mouth was dry. Mikado winced and pushed away from the counter, but a gasp tore from his throat when he collapsed on the floor of the kitchen area. The shattering of his glass sounded so far away and he groaned, eye lids feeling heavy and chest heaving for air. Somewhere far off, but really close by, he could hear his front door opening. The sound of footsteps lulled his hazed over mind to sleep.

"Ah, that might have been a little more than needed for him," Uta hummed as he nudged the boy's side with his foot. When Mikado gave no response, Uta smiled and gestured to the mask wearing men that lingered by the front door. "Put him in the van with Heiwajima-San."

Uta moved to go outside ahead of them, flipping open his phone. Izaya answered on the second ring. "Yes?"

"We're on our way back to the warehouse," Uta murmured. "These two don't seem very fun. Heiwajima-San was too boring and this kid was quite trusting. It reminds me of an old friend."

Izaya chuckled. "Ah, Mikado gets exciting when he's put in extreme conditions...after all, a person's true nature is revealed when put under extreme conditions."

"You have too much fun with humans," Uta murmured as he got into the driver's seat of the van they had parked outside. "I hope your little game doesn't become dull before we've even had any fun."

"Relax," Izaya breathed. "I know these two fairly well. They're highly predictable...it'll be fine. Hurry up and get here; but I need their faces covered, or else this entire plan is fucked."

Uta scoffed. "Whatever you say, Izaya-Kun."

* * *

"Celty, please don't be mad!"

Shinra was never overly fond of being on his girlfriend's bad side. Celty could be down right mean when she wanted to be. One wouldn't think a headless woman could be terrifying, right? No angry girlfriend glare? Well, that would be entirely wrong. What Celty lacked due to the lack of head, she made up for in vicious actions.

All had been well until Shinra's phone had gone off and he had announced, glumly, that he had to leave their night in together in favor of work. Celty's shadows had all but threw him off the couch and she stood, fingers flying over the keys of her PDA before she held it out to Shinra, obviously irritated.

"We're supposed to spend tonight together! We were going to make dinner together and everything!"

Shinra sighed and nodded, rubbing his temples. "I know, but Izaya said this was an emergency."

Celty threw her hands up, exasperated, and held out her PDA again.

"It's Izaya..."

Shinra paused and smiled a bit. "Yeah, I know...but it's emergency operation on some really important people, I guess. I'll be back in a few hours, I promise, and then we can spend the rest of the night together!"

The headless woman relented, because she wasn't about to keep her boyfriend from work. She helped him gather his things and saw him off, and Shinra really couldn't shake the guilt that was gnawing at him. Celty had been working so hard lately, doing such long night rides in an attempt to stop anymore people from being eaten by ghouls. A noble gesture, really.

The warehouse Izaya had told him to come to was gloomy, for lack of better word. There were men lingering outside, all of which eyed him carefully as a few led him inside. The warehouse doors slid open with a loud, metallic groan, and Shinra adjusted his glasses as he eyed Izaya from across the room. "You have the worst timing, you do know that, right?"

"Sorry, were you busy?" Izaya chirped, head tilting to the side as he watched the brunet walk closer.

"I had the night in with Celty," Shinra muttered, sighing. "But whatever. So, what exactly am I doing?"

"See, I have two clients here who require organ transplants" Izaya stated as he started to lead Shinra to a door a few feet away. "They're very important men in certain businesses, so I'm afraid that upon their request I've had to keep their faces covered. Any and all equipment you might need is here, plus what you already brought. The organs for transplant are here, as well."

"I guess I'm glad this is well thought out," Shinra murmured as they passed through the door. There were two examination tables, both of which had a body laid on top of it. One body was small, sort of like a teenager if Shinra really wanted to guess, and the other was a larger man. As Izaya said, their faces were covered wit strange masks, but Shinra was used to weird things in this city by now. He heaved a long sigh and looked at Izaya. "I guess I'll get started."

As medical tools were unloaded, the door opened again and Shinra glanced over to stare at a man in sunglasses who stood by Izaya. At Shinra's questioning glance, Izaya gestured to the man. "Uta-San works for these two; he's here to make sure nothing happens."

"Nothing personal," This man assured, waving a hand dismissively. "My bosses are simply very cautious."

Shinra smiled reassuringly as he laid out his medical tools. "No worries, I understand that. This isn't the first time I've dealt with operations like this, so I understand that security is important. But you can trust me."

"Yes, Shinra is the best at what he does," Izaya assured as he turned and waved a hand dismissively. "My job here is done, so I'll be taking my leave."

Uta glanced over at him. "Thank you for your resources, Orihara-San."

Izaya chuckled. "Anytime. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Ikkebukuro."

It was a good lie, really. Uta wasn't sure ho well it would go, telling this man that Izaya had practically no real clue about the identity of the two masked bodies. A quickly fabricated lie, yes, but it was a good one. This Shinra man seemed to believe it, and as Uta watched the doctor get to work, he idly wondered just how this plan would unravel.

Izaya was quite a trouble maker, indeed.

* * *

"Celty, I'm home." It was near midnight. Shinra was prepared for the worst as he entered the living room.

Celty didn't seem angry, though. She waved at him and held up her PDA.

"One of your clients came by while you were gone."

Shinra toed off his shoes and walked over to sit beside her. "Who was it?"

Celty's fingers flew over her PDA, and Shinra pressed a soft kiss to her clothed shoulder before he read what she had typed.

"Kaneki, I think was his name? He was only here for a minute; he said he wanted to talk to you about his friend you worked on."

"Kaneki, huh?" Shinra sighed and nodded, leaning back into the couch and rubbing his temples. "Okay, I'll call him in the morning, then. It's probably about time for a check up."

Celty reached up and ran her hand through Shinra's hair before she typed again.

"How did the operation go just now?"

"Good, I think," Shinra shrugged. "I think they were people not from Ikkebukuro. They had a lot of security, kept masks on during the surgery."

Celty's shoulders rolled in a small shrug.

"Well, that's how most people in our business are. Can't be helped, I guess. Anyways, you look tired; let's go to bed."

"Ah, but I told you I'd spend time with you when I came back," Shinra pouted and then he sighed. "But I am pretty tired..."

Celty wasn't going to leave room for argument and stood up, holding out her hand to Shinra. Shinra smiled softly and took her hand, letting her pull him to his feet. "You're too good to me, Celty."

Celty's soulder's shook, as if she were laughing, and she held out her PDA with her free hand.

"For now, at least."

Shinra laughed softly, letting Celty pull him from the living room. He was tired, it'd been a long day, but all he wanted to do was sleep and be close to Celty. He didn't really want to think about working tomorrow, about getting up and sitting through more medical stuff or running errands. He certainly didn't wan to think about the CCG he had seen moving through town on his way back home earlier. He didn't want to think about ghouls or anything related to that.

He just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything for just a while.


	4. Chapter 4

Panting, his little lungs burning for air. It was pouring rain and Shizuo Heiwajima was late and his mother was going to be  _furious_. He hadn't meant to stay out so late, really, but he and Shinra had been having fun playing video games and the time had passed by without the young boy even realizing it. Shizuo had rushed out of the other's home so fast, entirely forgetting that Shinra's father could have very well driven him home.

It was too late to turn around and go back, too, since he was basically almost home; he could cut through the park and be home in a flash. Of course, his mother always told him not to go in the park at night.

"It could be dangerous," She would always insist.

Shizuo was a seven year old boy; he laughed in the face of danger! Well, mostly...

The park was empty, like he expected. Everyone usually vacated the park by sundown. Shizuo sighed to himself and stopped by the jungle gym, leaning against it as he caught his breath. "Man..."

That's when he heard it, barely heard over the sound of the rain. It was a sickening, wet tearing noise, something that made his stomach churn violently. The boy squinted and looked around, barely able to see the figure underneath of the slide. The figure, a person he knew, was moving around, making some weird sound. Shizuo's eyes widened; was the person hurt?

The child took a cautious step closer. "E-excuse me...?"

The figure stiffened and Shizuo blinked. He bit his lip as he came closer, pushing wet hair out of his face. "Are...you okay?"

"Away..."

Shizuo blinked at the voice; it sounded female. He cocked his head to the side, only a few feet from the slide. It  _was_  a woman, he found. Her back was to him, boy hiding something from Shizuo's line of sight. Her hair was long, wet and hanging down the woman's back. She was breathing heavily and Shizuo cleared his throat. "U-uh...Are you hurt? I can go get my mom and dad..."

"Go away," The woman hissed, cringing slightly.

Shizuo blinked again and then frowned. "Hey...I'm just being nice..." He came closer and reached out, touching the woman's shoulder. "Let me help-"

"Get away from me!"

Shizuo gasped as the woman whirled around, grabbing his wrist and making him wince. Shizuo stumbled slightly and winced, looking up at the woman's face, his words dying in his throat at the black and red eyes that stared back at him. This woman had blood stained all around her mouth and the hand wrapped around Shizuo's wrist was bloodied. Shizuo let out a small, shaky breath, looking past the woman to see what she had been hiding. His stomach churned violently at the sight of the mangled body in front of him, ripped open and bleeding all over the soaked playground bark. He opened his mouth to yell, to scream, to do  _something_ , but anything that tried to come out died in his throat.

"Don't you know kids shouldn't be out at night?" The woman snarled, shoving Shizuo down.

Shizuo gasped in pain, play ground bark digging into his hands as he caught himself. He whirled around, shoving wet hair out of his eyes as he watched brightly colored wings sprout from the woman's back with a sickening noise. The woman snarled and Shizuo whispered out a fearful, "G-ghoul..."

"Do you want to be dinner for a monster?!" The woman snarled, grabbing Shizuo's ankle and dragging him closer.

A scream tore from Shizuo's throat as he thrashed, kicking his foot free and kicking the woman in the face. The woman, the  _ghoul_ , snarled and jerked back and Shizuo shot to his feet, stumbling before he ran. The rain matted his hair to his face, making hit hard to see where he was running. His lungs ached, desperate for air as he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. The ghoul was right behind him, he could hear her, could smell the death that radiated off of her.

His foot caught and he screamed, falling face first into the wet bark. Vision swimming, Shizuo rolled over onto his back and stared, wide eyes and terrified, at the woman hovering over him. She smirked a little down at him. "You should have been home a long time ago..."

The woman snarled, an inhuman noise, and Shizuo screamed as the woman threw herself down on him.

He sat up, a gasp tearing from his lips as he looked around.

He was home. He was in his room in his apartment...alone.

Shizuo frowned and grabbed his head, breathing heavily.  _What the fuck...?_

A sharp pain in his side made him hiss and he grabbed at it, somewhere where he figured his appendix or kidneys or... _something_  were. It was a throbbing, sharp pain and it made him gasp softly. He frowned and tried to ignore it, trying to figure out what had happened the night before. He knew he had been in a bar, he remembered that. He'd met some guy, too...was he flirting with the guy? He couldn't recall...

He couldn't remember anything after he walked out of the bar. He shook his head and sighed as he moved aside his blankets, blinking at the sweats and T-shirt he was wearing; he didn't remember changing his clothes, either. The confused haze made him sigh as he stood up, the pain in his side making him grit his teeth as he made his way to the bathroom.

The hot water of the shower made his tense muscles ache less, slightly calmed his throbbing headache. He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face, groaning quietly. "Did I get drunk after all...?"

Although, getting drunk from  _one_  beer wasn't very likely in his case...

Shizuo sighed and winced again, eyes trailing down to the area of pain. He arched an eyebrow at the cut that was there. Was it a cut? It seemed too neat...but he couldn't remember getting it. His body healed faster than most so he figured he probably got stabbed last night.

But wouldn't he remember that?

No, the cut looked too neat to be a stab wound. But he couldn't remember anything. The very fact that the previous night was gone from his memory made his heart beat a little faster. Fear? Maybe.

Shizuo frowned and shook his head, falling to the task of washing his hair. When he was done and out of the shower, he trudged to his room and pulled on a pair of boxers and pants, but his cell phone ringing from the other side of the room made him groan and stop. He walked over and snatched it from the dresser, flipping it open and putting it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Shizuo?" Kasuka's voice was a bit of a surprise. "Shizuo, where are you?"

Shizuo frowned in confusion. "I'm...at home."

"...Why aren't you at work?" Kasuka murmured.

"It's too early," Shizuo countered. What the hell was his brother's problem?

"...Shizuo," Kasuka muttered. "It's almost three in the afternoon."

The blond's eyes widened and he whirled around to look at his bedside clock. Sure enough, the bright red letters read two fifty-four and Shizuo let out a startled yell. "I'm like six hours late for work!"

"That's why I called," Kasuka told him, hoping his brother would relax a little. "Tom-San called me and asked if I'd heard from you. He said he called you a couple of times and you never answered. This is also the fourth time  _I've_  called you, too."

"You're joking," Shizuo mumbled as he ran his free hand through his wet hair.

Kasuka made a slightly irritated noise. "Are you on drugs?"

"What?"

"Are you coming off of drugs?"

"Kasuka-"

"You never act like this. Who gave you drugs?"

" _Kasuka_."

"Was it Orihara?"

Shizuo sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "I'm not on drugs, Kasuka. I blacked out last night, I think. I was at the bar."

"...You don't get drunk, though." Kasuka replied. "Not without drinking a lot."

"I know," Shizuo breathed. "I'm trying to figure it out."

Kasuka sighed very softly. "Well, you should call Tom-San. He's worried, especially because of recent ghoul attacks near your apartment."

"Sounds like you were afraid a ghoul got me," Shizuo murmured.

Kasuka was silent for a few seconds. "...I don't think you could escape another ghoul attack, even with your strength."

"Wow, not much faith," Shizuo muttered, but he agreed with that. "Sorry you were worried...it's been weird."

"Well, I want you to stay safe." Kasuka murmured. "I'll come visit soon, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Shizuo murmured. "Talk to you later; love you."

"I love you, too."

Shizuo hung up and went through his call log, frowning heavily at all of the missed calls.  _Did I really sleep through all of that...?_

The entire situation was weird, he'd admit that.

The pain in his abdomen flared up again and he sighed, walking out to his kitchen and yanking open his fridge. The last of his pudding cups sat innocently and he smiled a bit; at least this could be the best part of his day. He ripped the lid off of his pudding and grabbed a spoon, taking in a mouthful.

Shizuo's eyes widened and he coughed, spitting the mouthful of pudding back into the container and gagging as he set it on the counter. The taste was disgusting, more than that, even, and he stared at the pudding cup as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "The fuck...?"

Was it expired?

_I check the expiration dates every time I buy them..._

As if his irritation wasn't bad enough...

He let out a loud sigh as he threw his pudding into the trash, shaking his head. A nap suddenly sounded really good.

* * *

Whatever time it was when his eyes opened, Mikado couldn't find a reason to care too much right away. He sat up and heaved a heavy yawn, blinking rapidly as he looked around. He wasn't even on his futon; he was a few feet away from it, on the floor. He didn't remember laying down...he didn't remember much other than passing out in the kitchen...

Mikado winced and then gasped as a sharp pain ran through his abdomen. He pushed himself up to his feet and winced again, moving to the kitchen and narrowing his eyes at the shattered glass all over his floor.  _So I did break something after all..._

He couldn't remember anything after that. In fact, now that he looked himself over, he wasn't even in his school clothes like he had been when he passed out.

"School!" Mikado gasped, turning on his heel and looking around the room frantically. He dove down for his phone, gasping in pain and flipping his phone open.

School was going to be out in an hour.

"How could I have slept that long?!" He gasped. He scrolled through his phone, noting the numerous texts from Anri and Masaomi asking him where he was.

He never missed school if he could help it. He never slept in, not even on free days...

"What happened last night...?" Had he gotten sick? That had to be it... Flash heat stroke or something. Nothing else made sense.

Mikado sighed and winced again, finally sitting back and lifting his shirt. A gasp tore from his lips at the sight of the stitched up incision mark in his side. His eyes widened, lips trembling as his mind started to race rapidly. "What the hell...?"

The realization that he couldn't remember the previous night hit him full force and a strangled scream passed his lips as he shot to his feet. There were no signs, though, no way to try and figure out what had happened. He remember coming home and passing out...nothing else. Nothing stood out in his memory...

Had someone...come in and toyed with him just to see him freak out? That made no sense; who would take time out of their days just to bother him? Even Izaya had better things to do...

Mikado was suddenly light headed with fear and he lowered his shirt, letting out a shaking breath. He moved to the bathroom and shucked off his clothes, staring at his reflection in the mirror after he turned on his shower. He didn't look any different; just tired and his hair was a mess. Had something really happened?

The hot water of the shower made him sigh softly, but it made the cut in his side sting unbearably. He kind of wanted to enjoy his shower for a while, but the stinging was too much, so he washed his hair and body quickly and then got back out. He pulled on a pair of loose sweats and a T-shirt, rubbing his eyes as he stood in the center of his apartment.

**Knock! Knock!**

Mikado's head shot up and he frowned in the direction of his door. He didn't feel up to company, but he walked over and opened the door anyways. The sight of Saki and Masaomi made him blink in surprise. "Masaomi..."

"Mikado," The blond had been smiling, but after glancing at Mikado for a second the smile faded and melded into a worried frown. "Wow, you don't look good at all..."

Mikado offered a small smile. "It's been a weird day...do you two want to come in?"

He stepped aside as the two of them walked in and then closed the door. Masaomi tilted his head at him. "You weren't at school today."

"I slept all day," Mikado admitted with a small laugh, moving past them to the kitchen.

Saki gasped at the broken glass. "What happened?"

Mikado hesitated as he grabbed the broom from the corner of the kitchen. "I passed out last night. I guess I dropped the glass I was using..."

"Mikado," Saki scolded, walking over and taking the broom from his hands. "Go sit down and I'll clean this up; you should be resting."

Mikado wanted to argue, because really he could have cleaned up his  _own_  mess in his  _own_  house, but Masaomi was already pulling him out of the kitchen by the hand. A sigh passed his lips and he sat down, trying to hide the pain that was radiating from the cut in his abdomen as he looked at Masaomi.

Masaomi frowned at him and glanced around. "You passed out last night?"

"I...think it was just heat stroke," Mikado told him with a small roll of his shoulders. "I still feel pretty bad, though. I didn't hear my phone go off from the texts from you or from Anri."

"And you slept right through the school day," Masaomi added with a small smile. "You look like shit, man."

"Thanks," Mikado muttered, rolling his eyes. He sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. "I'm sure Anri took notes on whatever I missed..."

"Yeah, she did." Masaomi assured. "You think you'll go back to school tomorrow?"

"I guess it depends on how I feel," Mikado murmured. The stinging flared up and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing. "I still feel pretty bad today..."

Part of him wanted to tell Masaomi about the weird cut and explain how he had no idea what was going on. He wanted to stress how much  _pain_  he was currently in, but another part of him didn't want to make Masaomi worry. He'd feel terrible if he made Masaomi worry, after all.

Saki came and sat down by Masaomi, holding out a glass of water to Mikado. "Here; you should be drinking a lot of water if you think it was heat stroke."

"Ah, thank you," He took the glass and took a long drink before he sighed. "I'm sorry if I worried you."

"Hey, friends worry," Masaomi assured with a small smile. "I just kind of jumped to the worst ideas, you know? What with Izaya running around and everything..."

"I wouldn't let him into my house," Mikado assured with a small chuckle.

Masaomi chuckled quietly. "Yeah...but hey, if you're not feeling good tomorrow then stay home and rest. You might be sicker than you think. Could be a flu or something."

"You should probably go to the hospital considering you passed out," Saki added gently. "But, if you don't want to then that's okay. But if you're sick any longer you're going to have to."

The idea of a hospital made Mikado a little nervous; how would he explain the mysterious cut to the doctors? No, that wouldn't do at all...

"I'll go if I don't feel any better, Saki," He assured with a small smile. "Thank you for the concern..."

Saki smiled softly and nodded. Masaomi leaned closer and examined Mikado. "Man, you look pale..." He looked away and gasped. "Hey! Dude, where'd you score that big bag of candy?"

"What? Candy?" Mikado followed Masaomi's gaze and blinked at the bag of candy sitting by his futon. "Oh...some tourist gave it to me. They're strawberry, I think...you two can have some."

"Sweet!" Masaomi drug the bag closer and dug through it with a grin. "Wow, I really hope you weren't planning on eating this on your own because the amount of cavities you'd get would be ridiculous."

"I actually took them with the idea of letting you guys and Anri have them," Mikado admitted. "I can't eat that much by myself; it'd go bad before I could."

Masaomi laughed and tossed a piece to Mikado. "Here,maybe the sugar will make you feel a little better."

Mikado slowly unwrapped the candy, trying to remember the man that had given them to him. The details were blurry, but there'd definitely been a tattoo. A tattoo and a pierced lip, now that he really thought about it. Yeah, he certainly remembered that-

All thoughts of the previous night were left forgotten as the candy touched his tongue. His entire body registered the foul taste and his stomach churned as he coughed and spat it out, covering his mouth and shuddering as he fought the urge to gag...or throw up.

"Mikado!" Masaomi came closer and touched Mikado's shoulder, eyes wide with worry. "Hey, Mikado what's wrong?"

Mikado forced down the urge to gag and coughed behind his hand a few times, blinking back tears. He shook his head and looked at Masaomi, smiling apologetically. "S-sorry...that tasted really awful..."

"Really?" Masaomi blinked and glanced back at the bag of candy. His own piece had tasted fine, and Saki looked like hers was fine, too. He frowned and looked back at Mikado. "Maybe you got a bad piece..."

"Maybe," Mikado reached for his water and took a long drink, grimacing a little.

"You poor thing," Saki cooed lightly. "Maybe we should go and let you sleep. If you're still feeling bad tomorrow and don't go to school, give me a call; I'll bring over stuff for you."

Mikado smiled a little bit. "Yeah, I will..."  _Saki's too kind to me..._

"Yeah, man," Masaomi nodded. "Take it easy. Your attendance can spare a few sick days; the week's almost over, anyways. Just take it easy."

Mikado nodded. "I will...thanks for coming to see me, you two."

He felt bad for making them leave when they'd only just arrived...

"It's what friends do." Masaomi smiled, ruffling Mikado's hair gently before he stood up. He grabbed the bag of candy, figuring Mikado probably didn't want the rest. "Sleep well, okay? I hope you feel better, man."

Mikado walked them to the door and when they were out and walking away from the apartment complex, Saki made a soft noise. "Poor Mikado..."

"Yeah," Masaomi agreed softly, popping another candy into his mouth. "He doesn't normally get sick."

"Has he been stressed out lately?" Saki probed gently as they crossed a street. "Stress can make you sick, too."

"I dunno," Masaomi murmured, frowning a little. "He doesn't really talk to me about what's bothering him after everything that happened. I mean I guess that's fair. If he wants space or whatever, I'll give him space...I shouldn't expect everything to go right back to normal."

"I don't think it's anything as serious as him needing space," Saki murmured as she linked her arm with Masaomi's. "I think that he probably just doesn't want you to worry about him."

"Well, he's my best friend," Masaomi muttered. "I'm always going to worry about him; he can't stop that."

Saki nodded in understanding. "Well, he's just trying to figure things out. Don't worry; if he's still sick tomorrow I'll come hang out with him so he isn't too lonely."

"He could probably use the company," Masaomi added with a small smile. He kissed the girl's cheek, smiled at her light blush. "Thanks, Saki."

* * *

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you," Shinra sat down on his couch with two mugs of coffee and he held one out to his guest. "I had a late job last night so today was really slow for me."

The young man nodded and took the offered mug, offering up a small smile. "No, it's alright. I wasn't meaning to rush you."

Shinra smiled and nodded, taking a drink of his coffee. "So, what's going on exactly?"

Kaneki frowned slightly and sighed. "Hide's wound hasn't healed like we were expecting."

Shinra frowned. "I did my best...Like I told you, I've never worked with ghouls or injuries caused by ghouls."

"I know you did your best, and I'm very grateful," Kaneki assured, free hand brushing some white hair from his face. His one visible eye narrowed in worry. "I'm glad I was able to find you, that you were willing to help me. You saved Hide's life, and I'm very glad...I'm just worried. He hasn't healed like we were expecting, but he hasn't gotten any worse, which I suppose is a good thing."

Shinra nodded. "Well...bring him in tomorrow and I'll take a look at him. I can give him another transfusion if that's what he needs."

Kaneki nodded slowly. "Thank you, Shinra. You've been a huge help to us both."

"I'm doing my best with my lack of knowledge," Shinra assured with a small shrug. He took another drink and sighed. "And I promise you that I'll do whatever I can to help Hide recover fully. You two deserve some peace after everything in the twentieth ward."

"...You're very kind." Kaneki murmured. He glanced over, watching as Celty emerged from the hall. She wore no helmet, the wispy black shadows that swayed from her neck moving around idly. He smiled a little. "You and Celty have been a huge help. Thank you so much."

Shinra's previous smile widened and he shrugged. "You're very welcome, Kaneki. Really."

Kaneki drank more of his coffee and hummed lightly. "You had a late job last night?"

"Yeah, over by the docks," Shinra replied with a small sigh. "For some shady big shots, I guess; I never saw their faces during the operations."

Kaneki frowned in slight confusion. "It was an operation and you didn't even see the faces of your patients? That seems highly...irregular."

"Well, as an underground doctor I'm used to that kind of thing," Shinra shrugged. "I mean, lot's of people who hire me are involved in things far from legal; they' do anything to keep their identities out of the hands of the wrong people." He smiled. "These guys went all out; masks on, their body guards had masks or sunglasses on. It was crazy."

"Wow, you sound like you do a lot to put yourself in danger." Kaneki noted with a small smile. "You should be careful; I'm sure Celty would be devastated if something happened to you."

Shinra laughed and glanced towards Celty, watching her move idly around the kitchen. "I know...don't worry; I know my way around a bunch of stuff."

"That's very good, then," Kaneki stood and set his coffee down. "I'm sorry to leave so soon, but I don't like leaving Hide alone for very long."

"Oh, it's no problem," Shinra stood up and led Kaneki to the door. "Walk safely, especially with CCG around, now. Shoot me a message when you get back so I know you're safe."

"I will," Kaneki smiled and looked past Shinra. "Goodbye, Celty."

The headless woman waved and Kaneki returned his gaze to Shinra. "I'll bring Hide by tomorrow. Have a good evening."

Shinra closed the door behind the young man and sighed a little. "Such a sweet kid..."

He turned around to find Celty's PDA held out to him.

"He's really nice. It's amazing of you to help him and Hide out."

Shinra shrugged and adjusted his glasses as he moved to sit on the couch. "Well, I can't just deny him. He came to me looking for help and...well, truthfully I couldn't tell him no."

Celty sat next to him and held out her PDA again.

"It's a good way to get familiar with Ghoul physiology too. It all works out for everyone."

Shinra smiled. "Yeah, but with the CCG around it's going to make things harder for Kaneki...It's not like I have anything against Ghouls in general; they're just tyring to survive like everyone else. There are just some that give the entire population a bad reputation which I guess CCG comes in handy for." He frowned slowly and turned on the TV, holding the remote a little tighter. "I honestly have mixed feelings. It's not so black and white for me like it is for most people...like Shizuo. He's terrified of them."

Celty typed slowly, as if considering how to word her next sentence.

"He's seen one before, right?"

"Long time ago," Shinra nodded. On the news they were talking about another Shinjuku killing. It made Shinra slightly queasy. "It almost killed him in the park. It would have if my dad hadn't shown up and gotten in the middle of it. Poor guy was so shaken up when my dad brought him back to our place..."

If there was one thing Shinra never wanted to see again it was a crying and trembling Heiwajima Shizuo. It'd been such a shock seeing Shizuo crying, clinging to Shinra's father for dear life. Shizuo was one of the strongest people he knew (mostly on the physical end, but he was still good at hiding his emotions) and fear had been something Shinra never even considered to associate with the other. Fear had been written all over Shizuo's face, though, clear as day. Even now, it made Shinra feel weird.

"I can't hate ghouls like Shizuo, and I can't love them," Shinra said after a while. "I'm in the middle."

Celty's response was cut short when a knock on their door made them both pause. Shinra sighed and stood up, walking to the door and opening it. The uniformed men that stared back at him made him blink and frown a little. "Uh, can I help you...?"

"Yes, are you Doctor Kishitani?" One man asked, eyeing him up and down.

Shinra nodded. "Yes, I-"

"We're here to speak to Celty Sturluson," The other man cut in. "The Black Rider? Don't worry, we aren't cops...exactly."

Shinra's walls of defense shot up and he frowned again. "Then who ware you?"

"CCG," The first man replied, obviously trying to ease some of Shinra's tension. "We're here for a job offering for Celty."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry for a late update. Rough times lately.

Shinra was a little miffed when the CCG men had asked to speak to Celty  _alone_. He couldn't exactly refuse, though, and wound up lingering in his living room for an hour. He wanted to know what was being said. What the hell was this 'job offer' about? And how in the world had these men, the men who hunted down inhuman monsters, find out about Celty? Hardly anyone knew where Celty even lived...

Voices made Shinra look over, watching Celty lead the men to the door. Some more words were said, Celty held up her PDA a few times, and then the men were gone. Shinra smiled a little bit as the woman sat down beside him. "What was that about, Celty?"

Celty's fingers flew over her PDA.

"They want me to work with them. Hunting ghouls."

Shinra blinked, taken back. He took a breath and hesitated. "Are you going to?"

Celty shrugged her shoulders, typing again.

"I don't know. I'd feel sort of bad considering all the help we're giving Kaneki...and then I just turn around and hunt down his kind?"

"Well, were they offering good money?" Shinra asked. "I mean it's not like I'm saying that justifies anything but it would be tempting..."

Celty shrugged.

"They did...I told them I had to think it over. That's not an easy choice."

Shinra nodded and let the subject slip, checking his phone. "So I guess Shizuo didn't go into work today. Not sure why. I was going to call him."

He didn't really wait for the woman's response, dialing Shizuo's number and waiting. It took nearly six rings, but Shizuo answered, sounding exhausted. "Hello?"

"Hey, buddy," Shinra smiled. "I heard you weren't at work; you feeling okay?"

Shizuo rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He glanced at the time; seven p.m. He frowned. "Feel sort of like shit." He breathed.

"Really?" Shinra asked, surprised. "Are you sick or something?"

"Well...I was at the bar last night so I thought maybe I was hung over," Shizuo grunted as he laid back down. "But I only had one beer, so that's out of the question...I honestly don't remember."

"There's no possible way  _you_  could ever get drunk off one beer," Shinra chuckled.

"I don't remember anything from last night," Shizuo murmured, absently touching that strange scar on his side. He should tell Shinra. "Maybe I'm just sick or whatever. I'm fine."

Shinra made a small, unconvinced noise. "Well, make sure you eat and stay hydrated. Stay home if you're still feeling bad tomorrow."

"I'll be fine tomorrow," Shizuo assured softly, smiling to himself. "Thanks for checking up on me, though."

"Get some sleep, okay?" Shinra chided lightly.

Shizuo hung up, not replying, and tossed his phone aside. His stomach was aching, a hunger pain that was more intense than he'd ever had before. He threw aside his blankets and moved to the kitchen, frowning as he looked around in his kitchen for something to eat. Left overs in the fridge from two nights ago made him pause before he shrugged to himself. It was some sort of meat; he honestly couldn't remember as he took it out and started putting it onto a plate.

He rubbed his eyes and absently ran his finger tips over the cut in his side. Nothing really made sense. Nothing was registering all the way except for the fat that he was  _hungry_. In fact, he couldn't ever remember being this hungry before, but he'd eaten last night before he and Tom split.

As the food warmed up in the microwave, Shizuo gulped down some water. His throat kind of hurt and he couldn't believe he'd wasted the whole day in bed, lingering in and out of sleep for hours.

The microwave beeped.

Shizuo took out his plate of food and grabbed a fork, sitting down on his couch and making a face at the way his stomach groaned. He stabbed his fork into the food as he grabbed the TV remote with his free hand and flipped on the TV. News reports on Ghoul attacks; why did he expect  _anything_  else? He rolled his eyes as he took a bite of food.

The noise he made was almost inhuman, a loud gagging as he doubled over and topped onto the floor. His plate of food clattered to the floor and broke, food splattering as Shizuo threw up. He wasn't sure what he was even throwing up; it stung his throat the entire time, made his mouth tingle as he coughed and gagged, tears stinging his eyes. He gasped for air, the sound of the TV echoing loudly over the sounds of his ragged breathing.

"Ghouls haven't been in Ikkebukuro for years. Many young people are unaware of the characteristics of Ghouls to begin with..."

Shizuo knew characteristics of ghouls; they were playing over and over in his mind as he pushed himself up onto his feet.

_Those damned eyes..._

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and bent down to gather up the spilled food and large chunks of glass from his plate. The smell of the food smelled strange, but he knew it wasn't bad...so why had he thrown up so suddenly?

_Ghouls have kagune...those weird appendages..._

He cleaned up his mess and washed his hands, sighing heavily as he felt his stomach churn again, before he groaned loudly in hunger. He frowned and opened the nearest cabinet, grabbing a bag of chips and ripping it open.

_Ghouls don't eat human food. It's disgusting to them; they can't even stomach it._

A noise that almost sounded terrified escaped Shizuo's lips as he tried to swallow the chip he had put in his mouth. He felt it again, the burning in his throat, and turned around just in time to puke into his kitchen sink. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, felt sicker at the sound of his stomach fluids splattering in the sink. His shaking hands gripped the sink and he shook, that last fact repeating in his head.

_Ghouls don't eat human food. It's disgusting to them; they can't even stomach it._

The cut in his side stood out in his mind suddenly and his eyes widened. He took a shaking breath and yanked open a cabinet again, nearly tearing it off it's hinges. He grabbed a bag of candy that he kept there for occasions and pulled one out, popping it into his mouth.

The sound of puking echoed in the apartment for the third time and Shizuo let out a frustrated noise, slamming his fist into the counter and denting it. He pushed away from the sink and stumbled to the fridge, yanking it open. His eyes scanned the shelves and he grabbed the milk, unscrewing the cap and hesitating as he held it in his shaking hand.

He was going crazy, jumping to conclusions. Things like this didn't happen, no matter how fucked up this town was...but it all sounded so eerily familiar to the vague rumors going around about the bullshit in the twentieth ward months ago.

No, these things didn't  _just happen_.

Shizuo threw his head back, gulping down a few mouthfuls of milk. His stomach clenched and he dropped the milk, felt it spill all over his feet and the floor, and he whirled around and puked that up, too. His heart started beating faster, the word, "No," Being said over and over again as he nearly fell to his knees, grabbing anything and everything out of his fridge.

Juice tasted horrible and twice as bad coming back up.

The cheese made his stomach clench and his mouth burn as he puked.

The vegetables-he tried them  _all_ \- didn't even make it down his throat.

After several rounds of the same, painful process, he felt as if his throat was bleeding from the pure agony of all of it. He pushed away from the sink, stepping over the mess of spilled food and drinks as he stumbled to his bathroom. He flipped the light on and hissed, turning on the water and splashing a few handfuls of cold water on his face. He was breathing too quickly and his heart was pounding. He was was shaking, and he took a few shaking breaths before he lifted his head.

A scream bubbled up, making it's home just on his lips but never went any further. He stumbled back, staring in horror at the mismatched eyes that looked back at him. His left was the same as before, mocha colored and  _normal_. His right eye, the one that made his heart stop, was black as death, with red irises. Veins stood out in his face around his eye, straining and disgusting. A shaking hand came up to touch the skin under his right eye and he let out a choked noise, the weird ordeals from all around him starting to click into place.

There had been rumors, months ago, about some organically made ghoul in the twentieth ward. Rumors that had been said to have been leaked from the very mouths of ghouls who knew this individual. Shizuo hadn't paid much attention; he didn't  _want_  to at the time. The thought of some madman running around turning people into Ghouls was insane, something that seemed impossible.

"Fuck this,  _fuck this_ ," Shizuo slid down to the ground and grabbed his head tightly, rocking slowly back and forth. His throat felt tight, chest ached; he felt ready to pass out.

**Knock! Knock!**

Shizuo gasped as he looked up, eyes wide. He pushed himself up to his feet, swaying as he covered his inhuman eye as he made his way out. Breathing was difficult, made his chest hurt and his throat burn. He grabbed the handle of his front door and paused, inhaling a scent that made his entire body stiffen; it smelled familiar, like he should have known this scent. It smelled...inhuman.

He threw open this front door, taking in the sight of black and red eyes and a pierced lip. It was the same guy from the bar before, Shizuo knew that face anywhere. Shizuo gulped, straining to speak. "You..."

"Sorry to intrude, Heiajima-San," Uta smiled kindly. "But I couldn't help but worry when I found out through local gossip that you may have fallen ill."

What the hell was with this guy? "Just...just some stomach flu..."

The lie stung a little. Was it even a lie?

Uta hummed in thought. "A stomach flu that changes your eyes?"

Shizuo's eyes widened and he stepped back. "I don't know what you're-"

"You reek like ghoul," Uta sighed dramatically and reached up, prying Shizuo's shaking hand from his eye. He smirked, eyeing the black and red color that greeted him. "Wow, I was right. I knew I smelled my kind."

Shizuo stumbled back, yanking his hand away as he gulped. Uta followed him in, head tilting as he shut the door behind himself. "You smell differently from last night. What on earth did you do?"

"Hell if I know!" Shizuo hissed, gritting his teeth. "I woke up like this!"

"Well, it's a good thing I came to check on my new friend." Uta smiled. He grabbed Shizuo's chin and examined the other male's face before he hummed. "You poor thing..." He looked around, taking in the mess of food and puke all over the kitchen. "It must have been scary finding out you couldn't eat anymore...poor Heiwajima-San."

"What...what's happening to me?" Shizuo whispered, gulping.

Uta smirked. "What, it isn't obvious? You're turning into a ghoul."

Shizuo's heart pounded faster and he let out a low hiss. "Shit like this doesn't just  _happen_!"

"Well, there's been stranger things..." Uta mused, watching as Shizuo slowly sunk to the floor. He smiled and knelt down beside him, head cocked to the side. "You must be hungry."

"Nothing stays down!" Shizuo hissed, gritting his teeth as he clutched at his stomach. Uta's scent. the scent of a ghoul he assumed, was throwing his body into some sort of hungry, fight-ready state. He didn't like it, hated the way his heart pounded and the way his head throbbed and he  _hated_  the way his stomach twisted in hunger.

"Well, of course not," Uta scoffed as he ran his fingers through Shizuo's hair. He smiled to himself. "You know what Ghouls eat, so why try to eat human food?"

Shizuo's eyes widened and he trembled, slapping Uta's hand away as he pressed back against a wall. "I...I can't eat  _humans_! I'm a fucking human!"

"Not anymore," Uta reminded as he stood up. "But fine, if you really are opposed to the idea..." He looked down at Shizuo, a hand on his hip. "Then starve."

Shizuo gasped a little bit, gulping as he clenched his fists. Uta shrugged, pulling a pen from his pocket and walking over to write something on an old receipt lying on Shizuo's counter. "But if you decide to indulge in your new nature, go to this address."

"Get out of my house," Shizuo grunted, narrowing his eyes.

Uta smiled a bit and shrugged. "I'm only offering assistance; no human will help you, after all. You can't trust anyone you used to now. It's time you learned who you can trust in this new life of yours."

"No one I know will find out!" Shizuo yelled, shaking his head harshly as he felt tears stinging his eyes. He couldn't tell Tom, he couldn't tell Shinra or Celty...he couldn't even tell Kasuka...

The realization of not being able to tell the people he'd come to care about most made Shizuo's heart ache. Even his own brother would be left in the dark...his brother, who had loved him unconditionally through everything...

Shizuo looked up, ready to yell and tell the man-the  _ghoul_ -to leave, but his voice died in his throat because Uta was already gone, front door shut.

Uta descended the stairs of the apartment complex, a small smile tugging at his lips. He paused at the last step and chuckled. "Orihara-San, you can't hide from me."

Uta turned to watch Izaya step out from under the stairwell. The informant was frowning, head cocked to the side as he spoke. "What are you doing?"

"I was just paying Heiwajima-San a visit," Uta chirped, shrugging. "I figured he'd be awfully scared..."

"That fear is what I'm here to take pleasure in," Izaya muttered, fingertips running along the flick blade in his pocket idly. "I'll ask you kindly not to interfere with our game."

"Oh, but I'm no longer playing," Uta chuckled and stepped closer, taking pleasure in the way Izaya took a small step back. "I stopped playing your game the very moment those two humans were laid down for surgery. I'm playing my own game now, though unlike you I do not find pleasure in sitting back and watching. I've come to learn that to fully enjoy the game you must become a pawn yourself. It's much more fun. Surely you know all about earning and betraying trust?"

Izaya scoffed lightly and glanced at the stair well. "It's my game and I don't want your games to ruin it."

"Then why not play your game better?" Uta scoffed back. "Take my advice and get involved. You know how. Earn trust."

Izaya smirked softly. "It's scary how easily people will trust me. Where's the fun in that?"

Uta grinned and stepped up to him, poking his nose. "Watching Heiwajima-San crumble and break, perhaps?"

The idea was appealing and Uta knew Izaya had enjoyed it. He smiled and turned, waving idly. "I won't ruin your fun, Izaya-Kun; I promise."

"I'd hope not," Izaya murmured. "It'd be a shame to have to kill you."

* * *

The pain had started before he fell asleep the night before. Mikado knew it was hunger pain but he didn't trust his stomach after the candy incident when Masaomi and Saki were over. He had stayed up long enough to check The Dollars site and watch some TV before he retired to bed again.

When morning rolled around the pain had grown and intensified, his stomach churning and twisting as if some clawed hand had taken hold of his guts for some kind of amusement. It made him jerk awake, gasping in pain. The cut in his side was still stinging and he was shaking, head throbbing and vision a little blurry. He was already late for school, but he decided the night before he wasn't going to go, not when he was feeling like this.

Mikado got to his feet after laying in bed for what felt like forever. He went to the kitchen, filled a glass with water and went to his computer. He fought down the wave of pain as he logged into The Dollars, reading over some of the new threads.

_"Shizuo Heiwajima isn't at work again today!"_

_"Wow, you think Heiwajima died?"_

_"Ghouls were spotted downtown!"_

_"Guys, I saw a bunch of CCG headed downtown looking ready to fight!"_

_"Shinjuku is really quiet and calm for once."_

Mikado was sort of expecting all of that. The news of CCG being in town finally made the boy feel, only a little, safer. He shut off his computer and downed his glass of water, wincing as he moved to stand up. There was a knock at his door, one that made him sigh a little before he shuffled over and opened it and looked at whoever it was that was here so early. "Oh, hey Saki..."

"Hey, Mikado." Saki smiled, looking a little awkward, and gestured to some bags in her hands. "Masaomi told me you you weren't at school and, like I said, I offered to come check on you. I figured I'd make you some stuff to eat, too, since...you know, you're probably too tired to make it yourself."

Mikado blinked in slight surprise. "That's very nice of you...Oh! Come in, sorry..." He stepped aside as Saki walked in, shutting the door behind her. Saki smelled strange as she walked by, smelled like something...good?

_Don't smell your best friend's girlfriend; that's so weird..._

Saki set her bags on the kitchen counter and looked back at him. "Have you eaten anything yet this morning?"

"No, not yet," Mikado murmured as he lingered in the kitchen. "I actually just woke up..."

"Wow, I've got perfect timing, then," Saki laughed a little, and it was a cute girlish laugh that made Mikado smile a little. "You go rest up and I'll start something for an early lunch, how's that sound?"

"That sounds nice, thank you," Mikado smiled a little awkwardly before he went back to his futon and sat down. He felt weird with just the silence, occasionally interrupted by Saki moving around the kitchen, so he turned on the TV for the sake of background noise. The news made him feel worse than he already was so he flipped the station, settling on some random movie that was on. It was about five minutes later that Saki emerged and sat by him, keeping a distance, of course.

"I'm boiling some noodles and vegetables," She told him. She looked away and stared at the TV before Mikado saw her bite her lip.

Mikado wasn't sure why the action caught his attention, but it made his stomach twist again. "Are uh...you alright, Saki?"

The girl blinked and then sighed, smiling a little as she looked back at him. "...This is weird, isn't it? Your best friend's weird girlfriend coming over to take care of you..."

"Well...I mean it's different," Mikado admitted with a tiny chuckle. "But it isn't exactly weird. We just...aren't very close, so I guess that's why it feels off."

"That's why I offered to take care of you," Saki told him, smiling a bit wider. "I was hoping maybe we could get more comfortable with each other...plus, Masaomi was worried sick about you."

Mikado laughed a little bit. "Well...it's nice of you to offer...I never had any problems with you, Saki. I'm glad we have a little time to spend together."

"Thank goodness," The girl breathed. "I'm so glad you don't think I'm weird for offering. I really just want to help. If you're important to Masaomi then you're important to me."

Mikado smiled again, nodding. "That's good..."

Saki grinned and nodded, looking back at the TV. "You're usually watching the news. Not into it today?"

"Not if they keep talking about ghouls," Mikado admitted. "It freaks me out, to be honest."

"You're scared of ghouls?" Saki smiled a little at him.

"I've never seen one personally, but all the things I've heard about them..." He shivered a little and shook his head. "I'd hate to run into one..."

"I've actually met people who know ghouls personally," The girl murmured. Mikado gave her a look and she laughed. "Sorry, just...I don't like to think that all ghouls are bad. I think some of them are just trying to live like anyone else."

Mikado was a little taken back and, after a moment, he smiled. "...I never considered that..."

Saki shrugged a little. "I like to think about stuff like that. There's a secret side to everyone, even a monster."

"You're a lot more optimistic than I thought," He admitted. "It's nice."

She smiled again and nodded. "I try to be."

Saki's presence was less awkward than Mikado had previously thought. The girl was cute in a way, liked to smile and joke and imagine weird things. She had a really girly laugh, had a habit of biting her lip when she thought she might have said something wrong. It was easy to understand why Masaomi fell for her so hard; Mikado was glad he could understand that.

Saki ended up making homemade soup, and as she filled a bowl up for Mikado the boy couldn't help but worry. He didn't want to end up gagging again like yesterday. Saki's food smelled delicious and he was actually really eager to eat. The last thing he wanted was to be rude to Saki, who was just being kind to him...

Saki sat down across from Mikado and handed him a bowl of soup, smiling. "Masaomi usually likes this when he's sick."

He took the bowl and smiled, thankful. "Thank you very much, Saki..."

The girl nodded and looked back at the TV, having actually gotten pretty interested in whatever was playing. Mikado smiled again and brought a spoonful of soup to his mouth, hoping for the best.

Saki gasped loudly when Mikado dropped his bowl, the hot soup spilling between them. She watched Mikado wretch and gag and moved aside as the boy pushed himself up and ran to the bathroom. She winced, stomach churning as she heard the sound of Mikado throwing up into his toilet and then she picked up the bowl and took it to the kitchen. The sheets were taken off of the futon and set down by the washer before she went to the bathroom, lingering in the door way.

Mikado shook, hands gripping the toilet seat tightly as he gasped for air. The taste was almost beyond disgusting, which made no sense to him. The food had smelled good, had looked good...

Saki's hand between his shoulder blades made him jerk and Mikado looked over his shoulder, offering the girl a small and apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Saki...I guess my stomach isn't agreeing with me still..."

"No, don't apologize." Saki smiled a bit, rubbing small circles into Mikado's back. "It's totally okay. I'll put the rest into the fridge and you can try again later. Okay?"

"But you worked hard to make it for me..." He sighed.

"I'm not going to force you to eat if you can't stomach anything," She stated. She helped pull Mikado to his feet and led him back to the living room. "Your sheets are dirty but I'll throw them in the washer. Just lay down for a bit; I'll get you some water."

Mikado sat back down, clutching his stomach that twisted with hunger pains. He didn't understand how he could throw up like that when he was clearly hungry. He hated being sick...

Saki came back and gave him a glass of water, smiling a little. "Just take it easy, okay?"

He nodded, taking the water and drinking some of it. It cooled his throat, made him relax more as he sighed. "I'm still really sorry..."

"I told you it was okay," Saki assured him. "I want you to relax, okay? At least stay hydrated. This is probably some really bad flu or something...you really should go see a doctor but I won't push you to."

She really didn't push it, either. Saki made him lay down, kept refilling his glass with water every time he'd finish it. They carried on light conversation for a while before there was a knock on the front door. Saki answered, leading in a slightly concerned Masaomi who looked at Mikado. "Hey, man!"

Mikado nodded towards his friend, a smile tugging at his lips. "Hey, Masaomi."

"Man, I've been worried about you all day," The blond sat down beside him and grinned. "Saki's been taking good care of you, right?"

"Definitely," Mikado assured, nodding. "She's been very helpful."

"I made him some of the soup I make you when you're sick," Saki told him as she sat back down.

"Yeah, but I didn't even get to eat any..." Mikado murmured.

Masaomi laughed a bit. "Stomach still isn't agreeing with you? That's crappy, man; you should probably go to the emergency room, you know."

Mikado made a face, mainly because the idea of having to explain that strange cut in his side made him feel ill. "I'll probably be fine in a day or two. I won't go to school this week just to be safe, of course."

"If you insist, "Masaomi rolled his eyes a little. "I really do hope you feel better soon, man."

Mikado nodded, mind a little distracted as he inhaled. Was Masaomi wearing something new? Had he bought a new cologne or deodorant? Something about him smelled...appealing. It made Mikado's stomach twist. He cleared his throat. "Did Anri take notes for me...?"

"Yeah, I brought them over, actually," Masaomi shrugged off his back pack and unzipped it, pulling out a notebook. "This is today's and yesterdays. I'll get tomorrow's for you too, since you'll be here. Saki, would you mind coming to check on him tomorrow, too?"

Mikado blinked. "Sh-she doesn't have-"

"I'd love to," Saki cut in, shrugging. She met Mikado's concerned gaze and smiled. "I don't have much to do during the day so it's no problem. Besides, I'd feel better keeping an eye on you considering you're this sick."

"Yeah, I don't want you home alone, either," Masaomi agreed. "Not trying to baby you or anything..."

"No, I understand," Mikado shook his head and then shrugged. "I'd do the same if it were you in my place."

Masaomi grinned. "I know, man. I hope you feel better soon."

Masaomi and Saki didn't stay very long after that. Mikado felt a little lonely when they were gone so he turned up the TV in an attempt to block out the silence that rang out loudly. His stomach growled loudly, hunger pains making him wince. He stood up and went to the kitchen, deciding against Saki's soup and instead getting out a simple slice of bread. Start small, he figured, and work himself up to bigger meals.

Mikado took a bite of the bread, gagging almost as soon as it settled in his mouth. He hunched over the kitchen sink, spitting into it and throwing up what felt like stomach bile and all the water he'd had during the day. It hurt, felt as if his throat was burning up as he emptied his stomach into his sink, the sink Saki had cleaned earlier that day...

"Damn it," He wiped his mouth with the back of a shaky hand and grit his teeth.  _I have to eat something or I'll get sicker...!_

He took another bit of the bread, chewing quickly as the rotten taste rolled over his taste buds in a nasty wave. He gagged and then hunched over his sink a second time, tears coming to his eyes as he choked out the half chewed bread and stomach acids. It stung in a way he wasn't used to, and yet his stomach  _still_  growled in need to be filled.

Mikado grit his teeth and let out a shaky breath, feeling the sweat forming on his forehead as he looked at the bread in his hand. There was no way the bread was bad; he'd bought it a few days ago. But a stomach flu couldn't make everything taste the same, couldn't make everything have one taste; foul.

The cut in his side stun, throbbed almost, and Mikado let out a harsh breath as he threw the bread into the sink and laid back down in the living room, trying in vain to go to sleep with an aching stomach and a throbbing head.

* * *

Shizuo forced himself to go to work that next day. It was a pain to get up, was even harder to calm himself down after another round of puking when he tried to stomach cereal. He tried to block out the events of two nights ago, tried to forget the words of that ghoul that had walked so calmly into his house.

He tried to forget the address written on the paper crumpled up in his pocket.

Tom had been relieved to see him, it seemed, and it took all Shizuo had to smile and talk to him like normal. He was inwardly praying his eye wouldn't change. prayed no scent would send him off the deep end.

That was the last thing he needed...or wanted.

The day passed too slowly. Usually the morning crowd of teenagers pleased him, but the close proximity of so many teenagers hit his senses full force. They all smelled so clean, so fresh, and so...well, he could only explain it as delicious, and frankly that scared the living shit out of him. He held his breath as he walked past them, praying his eye wouldn't do...that thing.

Tom must have caught onto such strange behavior and, really, Shizuo gave him a little mental praise at not saying anything until mid-afternoon. He had stopped abruptly, making Shizuo blink a little bit. "Shizuo, are you sure you're okay to be working?"

"Yeah," Shizuo frowned a little. "I'm just a little groggy, but I'm good."

"You just seem out of it," Tom noted. He tilted his head and smiled a bit. "It's okay to take sick time, you know."

"I'm fine," Shizuo stressed, shaking his head as an unfamiliar smell invaded his senses. He frowned and glanced over his shoulder, feeling his body go rigid at the eyes staring back at him. " _You_."

Izaya smiled from a few yards away, head tilted. "Ne, you're back at work, Shizu-Chan!" He grinned. "I was so lonely the past few days."

Rage boiled up inside of Shizuo but he took a breath, trying to keep calm.  _Getting worked up might trigger it..._

"Yeah, guess even a guy like me can get sick," Shizuo muttered with a shrug as he turned to fully face the other. He narrowed his eyes. "The hell do you want? I'm working."

"Aw, I'm less important than work?"

"Fuck off."

"With you?"

Shizuo blinked and grit his teeth, fists shaking at his sides. The Flea was baiting him, he could tell just by the look on the other's face. That smug smile made Shizuo's blood boil and he let out an angry sigh, biting the inside of his cheek. "You're asking for your ass to be kicked, aren't you?"

Izaya rolled his shoulders lazily and smirked again. "You know me so well, Shizu-Chan. Oh, but really I came to see how you were doing. I was so worried when I couldn't find you the past few days! You really should give me a warning before you decide to disappear like that."

"What, like you missed me?" The taller snarled, stepping closer. That smell from before  _had_  to be Izaya's scent, he would bet money on it. "Don't make me laugh!"

"Aw," Izaya mock pouted. "You didn't miss me?"

He wasn't sure why, but that was Shizuo's last straw. He launched forward, yelling when Izaya dodged of his reach and ran. Shizuo ran after him, screaming out the other's name in rage as he followed after him through the street. He was glad, during times like this, that people stepped aside for him. He weaved through the crowd, Izaya's echoing laugh making him run faster as he felt the rage surge through him.

The scents around him were driving him crazy, though. His mind wandered, drifting away from capturing and killing Izaya to stopping to smell the air around him. He could smell it... _all of it_.

Women.

Men.

Toddlers and young kids.

Teenagers.

Shizuo's mind was in a haze, some sort of haze he couldn't understand. He slowed, his running turning into a slow walk as he watched Izaya speed ahead of him. He was immobile, eyes wide behind his glasses as he watched the citizens move around him.  _What's this feeling...?_

_**"So hungry..."** _

Shizuo gasped and stepped back, looking around frantically for the source of that voice. Not a soul was looking at him, paying attention to him...

He shuddered and grabbed the side of his head, feeling his stomach churn. "Fuck..."

_**"So hungry...so hungry...!"** _

Izaya had been let down when the chase ended. He whirled around, watching intently as Shizuo stood transfixed in the middle of the crowd. He knew the scent of so many humans would be enough to drive Shizuo mad, would drive the brute's new senses and instincts mad. Vaguely he wondered how Mikado would have handled it, but Mikado was still at home and was out of the equation for now. Shizuo was interesting enough for now.

Shizuo's gaze met his and Izaya smirked slowly, waiting.  _Come at me, you big brute...let me see just what sort of monster you're becoming!_

Maybe he was a little offended when Shizuo turned and  _ran the other_ _direction_.

Maybe  _offended_  wasn't exactly the right word.

He frowned heavily, rolling his eyes to himself. "That's no fun..."

Shizuo  _ran_. He ran so hard that his lungs ached, and really he had no idea where he was going. He just had to  _get away from those people_. That voice lingered, echoing in his head and growing louder in volume.

**_"Hungry...! Eat, Eat! Please, eat!"_ **

He didn't feel in control of his body. He felt like he was tugging on strings that wouldn't give, and the second he caught a new scent, he froze. He didn't know this scent, but it smelled  _delicious_. His body moved, tugged and led by some unseen force. The scent was overwhelming him, was taking over every fiber of his being.

What  _was_  it?

The alley way was darker than he remembered. The smell was everywhere and Shizuo groaned softly, eyes locking on the source of the smell finally.

Blood was splattered everywhere, on the ground and all over the person-the  _creature_ -ripping into the lifeless body. Shizuo's stomach churned, but not in disgust or fear...it churned in hunger.

_**"Yes...eat!"** _

Shizuo stumbled forward, freezing when ghoul eyes lifted to meet his. This man before him, bloodied and ravenous, cocked his head as he sniffed the air. Shizuo sniffed too, but only to get another whiff of that  _damn_  delicious smell.

"You smell wrong..." The bloodied man whispered. He frowned, as if he were going to say more. Instead, though, he reached down and ripped a chunk of bloodied flesh from the body before him. He held it out to Shizuo and stared at him. "You're hungry?"

Shizuo blinked and took a step closer, mentally screaming. "I..wh..."

**"Eat, please...eat!"**

Shizuo grabbed his head and took a step back, shaking his head. "I'm...human!"

"...The eye," The ghoul before him whispered, licking blood from his lips slowly. "The eye...your eye, man..."

"I'm fucking human!" Shizuo slammed his fist into the wall to his left, listened to it crack as his arm shook in rage. He grit his teeth, ignoring the hissing he heard in his head as he turned and ran out of the ally as fast as he could. The hissing in his head, that voice that was begging to eat, melded into a loud and agonized scream. It had Shizuo gasping, stumbling and catching himself on the wall as he found himself back in a populated area. He looked left and right, over and over, and he gasped for air as he sped in the direction of his apartment.

Work be damned.

* * *

It was painful, really. It was painful laying there, waiting for Saki to show up. She said she'd be late today. He didn't mind, though he was very bored. He'd eventually rolled over and checked the Dollars site again.

_"Did anyone see Shizuo Heiwajima today? He looked so out of it!"_

_"I saw him chasing that Orihara guy..."_

_"Shizuo looked drunk or something! I saw him stumbling out of an alley this afternoon!"_

_"Can a guy like him even get drunk?!"_

Shizuo's name had come up a lot in the past few days. Mikado was a little confused, mainly because Shizuo was never really one to be a conversational topic...not like this, at least. If they were talking about local fights or something then yeah, Shizuo's name was thrown around a lot. But this was just...weird.

Shizuo sounded weird. Mikado had, unintentionally, taken mental notes on it all. The man hand't been at work for days, had only finally showed up today. He'd been out of commission as long as Mikado himself, with today being the exception. Really, he'd become used to catching glimpses of the tall man every so often in town, he'd been used to the vague comments here and there about the man's fights or...whatever.

Mikado had taken notes on the night when Dollar members saw Shizuo stumbling out of a bar;  _could_  Shizuo even get drunk? Mikado didn't think so.

He wasn't sure why Shizuo's weird behavior was bothering him. He figured, maybe, it was because Shizuo was always a constant in the city. You could always guess where he was or what he was doing. Now...well, now you couldn't.

Mikado hoped Shizuo was okay.

Exiting the Dollar's site, Mikado felt his stomach churn and twist, heard it growl. A gasp tore from his lips, pain radiating and pulsating through his abdomen as he fell over onto his side. He grit his teeth, tears stinging his eyes from the intense pain. Slowly, he pushed himself up to his feet and stumbled to the bathroom.

He turned on the sink, splashing cold water on his face before he gripped the sides of the sink with both hands. He gripped it until his knuckles went white and lifted his head, hoping his reflection didn't reveal that he looked too bad.

"Ahhhh!" Mikado stumbled back, tripping over a towel on the floor and falling. His head collided harshly with the wall behind him and he gasped, blinking a few times as his vision swam a little.  _What the hell...?_

He was hallucinating, he had to be. He hadn't eaten in a few days so he was just seeing things. The black and red coloring in his right eye was...it wasn't anything...

He pushed himself up again, staring into the mirror as he felt panicked tears fill his eyes.

The ghoul-like eye that looked back at at him was wide, tear filled. The veins around his eye stood out, painfully obvious, and Mikado yelled as he splashed his face with cold water again.

_It's just a hallucination! I'm just sick! This sort of thing isn't possible!_

The eye was the same when he looked back into the mirror. Mikado's heart was pounding as he brought a shaking hand up to poke the skin around his eye. Tears, now, were trickling down his cheeks as he gasped through the sobs tearing from his throat.

_What's going on...?_

It was terrifying, the black of his sclera.

_These things don't just happen...!_

The red of his iris, bright and hungry in color, made his blood turn to ice in his veins.

The incision mark in his side stung, making him gasp as he slowly looked down at it. He shook his head slowly, tracing the mark that looked way too healed after only a few days. "...Wh-what...what's g-going on...?"

"Mikado? I'm here!"

Saki's voice made him gasp, a hand flying up to cover his own mouth as he stared at the floor. Saki...Saki couldn't know. She'd panic and run... _she'd tell Masaomi_.

"Mikado...?"

"I-I'm in the bathroom!" He called, his own voice sounding distant, far away from him. "I'm taking a shower just make yourself at home!"

He turned on the shower without another thought, watching steam fill the small bathroom as he traced the incision mark on his side again. The world around, the noise of cars passing by on the streets outside, faded out of existence. The sound of the shower water hitting the bottom of the shower sounded louder than ever, echoing again and again in the boy's head as he slowly started to pull off his clothes.

What the fuck was going on?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I'm so sorry! I got caught up in moving out, starting college classes and there was a Con that totally fucked my writing over. Sorry!

The weekend had felt like utter hell on Mikado's part. He'd managed to keep his...condition a secret from Saki, but barely. He couldn't figure out what was triggering his eye to ...change. He'd been able to hide it well, though, and figured the best thing was to stay calm...for now. The hunger pains had been worse than ever, and only increased whenever Saki was close by.

Mikado wasn't stupid. He was a little naive, sure, but not stupid. He'd done his research as soon as the weekend hit, had gathered all the information he could.

There'd been rumors like this back in the Twentieth Ward; a boy turned into a ghoul by hand, aided by mysterious surgery. Of course, all of those rumors had been sketchy and unsure, fueled only by local gossip and a few unreliable eye witnesses. Mikado kept all those rumors in the back of his head, though, because the similarities (what little there were) were too close to his experience. He had to try and figure out everything.

He went back to school the next week. He'd spent half the morning trying to keep his nerves calm so he wouldn't have to worry about his eye. He spent the other half of the morning trying to ignore the painful hunger that rumbled in his stomach. He'd walked to school like normal, and when Masaomi met him half way, he tried to smile the same as he always did. "Hey, Masaomi!"

The blond whirled around and grinned brightly. "Mikado! You're finally good for school!" The other ran at him, crushing Mikado in a hug. "I was seriously getting worried about you. Saki's wonderful healing must have healed you up over the weekend!"

Saki had actually only come over once over the weekend, but Masaomi's proud grin was too cute to ruin. "Yeah, she's great. I'm glad she was there for me."

"She's the nicest on the planet, dude, you should feel  _honored_ ," Masaomi gushed as he started walking towards the school. "But seriously, I'm so glad you're feeling better. It was starting to get really serious and-"

Masaomi was cut off by a loud sound, a sort of screeching roar that echoed down the street. Both boys whirled around in time to see a black blur zoom by, that screeching sound repeating once more as the person turned a corner.

Mikado smiled a bit. C _elty's out on a job today, then?_

"Man, that Black Rider's so cool," Masaomi gushed softly, shaking his head. "I love seeing them."

Mikado smiled a bit and nodded, gesturing for Masaomi to follow him. "Come on, let's get to school."

Celty barely registered the sight of Mikado on the sidewalk, making a mental note to try and meet up with him and chat for a bit. She was busy right now, following a lead that the CCG had given her. She'd basically ran all around town, back and forth to find any sort of clue to any sort of ghouls close by.

But she couldn't  _ask_  people. She couldn't exactly  _tell_  anyone what she was doing, either. The CCG were very adamant that she keep it on the down low, Shinra being the only real exception. The entire search seemed pretty pointless to her, though, and eventually she gave up all together as she pulled up along the side walk to take a break. She fiddled around on her phone for a while, inwardly a little disappointed that Shinra hadn't sent her a text or anything yet.

"Is it safe for you to be lingering on the side walk like that?"

Celty jerked, looking over her shoulder at Shizuo who was standing beside her bike. She typed quickly and held her PDA out to him.

"I should be fine. How are you doing? Local gossip says that you've been out of sorts lately."

Shizuo shrugged a little. "Just on and off sick, I guess. Nothing too bad though so don't worry about it."

"That sounds bad. You could have had Shinra take a look, you know."

Shizuo waved it off. "No, he does enough for me as it is. It's fine. What are you doing right now?"

Celty's shoulders slumped a little bit before she replied.

"I actually have a new temporary job, so I've been looking around for ghouls."

"Ghouls," Shizuo murmured, frowning a little bit. "Why do you need to look for ghouls?"

"It's a new job, The CCG got a hold of me and asked me to help out. They figured that since I'm around a lot, especially at night, I might be able to help them find more of the ghouls."

Shizuo felt his heart skip a beat and he took a breath. "Are you supposed to like...kill them?"

"If I have to. I told them right from the start that I wasn't entirely okay with killing them. If the situation calls for it then I will, but if I can help it I'll just keep it captive and have the CCG handle it."

Shizuo nodded slowly, feeling as if he'd fall over any second. He cleared his throat, pulling out his phone to check the time. "Well, I should go meet up with Tom."

Celty nodded, figuring she should probably get back to work. They parted ways, Shizuo feeling sick to his stomach as he felt another awful hunger pain. He shuddered, and the rest of the day for him passed by in general peace. He'd been able to learn to ignore the scents of the people around him.

Mostly.

It was still hard to get super close to people, but he had enough will power to do that, at least. It helped to keep his mind focused on other things, like his brother's up coming movie coming out and so on. The hunger pain was still there, of course, and the crumpled up note from Uta nights before felt like thousand pound stone in his pocket.

Tom and Shizuo parted ways as the sun began to set. Shizuo walked home quickly, still so inwardly glad that people purposefully avoided him on the side walks. He got home and all but collapsed onto the couch, scrunching his nose up at the smell of his own house. It reeked of rotten food, something the neighbors would surely bitch about if he didn't take care of it soon. The thought of touching the food, though, brought back the harsh memories of puking, of crying and heaving for air...

Yeah, he wasn't going to do that any time soon.

He let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples as he tried to ignore his stomach. His eye had probably changed too, but seeing that again would probably make him piss himself.

Even if he  _had_  already seen it several times since the first.

The ringing of his phone startled him and he jerked, grunting softly as he fished it out of his pocket to answer it. "Hello?"

"Ah, Heiwajima-San," That voice. "How are you?"

"You," Shizuo hissed. "How the hell did you get my number?"

"It isn't hard to get things in this city," Uta informed him. "I was worried, you know? I know you probably don't want to speak to me but I'd feel bad if I just left you on your own. Have you gone to the address I gave you?"

Shizuo frowned. "...No."

Uta made a noise close to a sigh. "I can only imagine how painful it is...you shouldn't subject yourself to starvation, you know. That's the worst for a ghoul."

_Ghoul_. The word made Shizuo's skin crawl and he frowned. "If they're going to make me eat what I think they will then fuck that."

Uta actually sighed this time. "It's not safe for the people  _around you_ , you know."

Shizuo paused and frowned. "...I know tha-"

"I mean, what if your brother visits you?" Uta hummed.

Shizuo blinked. "How did you know I-"

"You wouldn't want to hurt your brother, would you?" The other continued. "Or worse...you could kill him, even. I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that...or hurt your boss or anyone else close to you."

Shizuo grit his teeth and sighed heavily. "...Then what do you suggest I do, huh?"

"I told you what to do." Uta replied smoothly. "Go to the address I gave you and they'll help you. But it won't be of any use unless you do as they instruct you to do. Heiwajima-San."

Shizuo shook his head to himself and let out a small breath. "...And what if I don't go?"

"Well, then you'll die of starvation," Uta's answer didn't sound so terrible. At first. "Ah, but in all truth...the ghoul part of you might just take over and feed itself before that happens..."

Shizuo closed his eyes, willing himself not to break his phone in his hand. "...I'll go, okay? But...can't you just come with me?"

Uta made an amused hum in his throat. "Well, I can meet you there. I can't walk you there. You're a big boy, Heiwajima-San."

Shizuo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "...Tomorrow night, then."

"You're wasting time, but alright," Uta breathed. "Tomorrow night, then. Try to stay sane until then, yeah?"

Shizuo went to reply, but the other hung up before he could. He sighed and tossed his phone aside, laying down and hugging a couch pillow to his chest, ready for a night of no sleep and mega hunger pains.

* * *

"I'm sorry I can't walk home with you today, Mikado." Anri glanced over at him as she slowly packed her school bag. "I just have a lot of errands today."

"You don't have to apologize," Mikado assured her, smiling softly. "Really, I should be thanking you for helping me at lunch with all the material I've missed since I was sick."

"It's the least I could do," She smiled a bit wider at him as they exited the classroom. "I'm just glad you're finally feeling better, Mikado. We were really worried about you."

"Well, Saki helped a lot," Really, though, Saki had only helped him learn to keep...whatever was wrong with him at bay. "She's so nice. I don't know why I assumed she wouldn't be."

"She's sweet," Anri agreed. "And it was kind of her to offer to take care of you. It made me just a little less worried knowing you had someone making sure you were okay."

"You worry too much."

"I have reason to."

"Still..."

"Masaomi was worse." She offered lightly.

Mikado scoffed. "Yeah, I know. He came over all the time, too."

Anri laughed a little bit as she glanced at him. "Well, what did you expect?"

Mikado shrugged and sighed a bit. They walked in silence to the exit of the school before Anri spoke up again. "Celty's got a new job."

"Oh, really?" He looked at her. "Doing what? I saw her this morning for a second."

"Well, I hear she's working with the CCG now." Anri replied as they stopped outside the school doors. She turned to fully face him, head tilted. "I guess she;s helping them hunt down ghouls."

Mikado's eyes widened for a second before he fixed his expression, smiling a little. "Really? That's different...How'd you find out?"

"Local rumor at first," She murmured. "But I texted her earlier and asked and she confirmed it. So..."

"Huh...Celty hunting ghouls..." Mikado bit the inside of his cheek and nodded slightly. "Well, those ghouls better watch out then, huh?"

Anri smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, get home safe, okay?"

"You too," Mikado told her, nodding. "And good luck with all your errands."

They parted ways, Mikado sighing softly to himself as he started walking. Masaomi had disappeared before class had even ended, not that he really minded walking home alone. He bit his bottom lip in thought as he walked.

Why was Celty hunting ghouls? Celty didn't even _like_  killing things. Unless she wasn't doing the killing part, because that made Mikado feel a little safer.

Safer? Why, he was't a ghoul.

Entirely?

He wasn't sure anymore.

His apartment was warm when he got home and he dumped his bag on the floor, sitting down as another wave of hunger washed over him. He'd been okay with hiding it, at least around Saki and other people. It hurt, though, and he felt the last of his will power slip away as he pushed himself up and went to the kitchen.

The thing about himself, Mikado knew, was that he was naive and stubborn. He couldn't even count on his fingers how many times, now, that he'd tried to force himself to eat something. The deep denial convinced him that no, he was human and could eat.

The logical part of his brain, however, said otherwise, but he settled for trying to muffle that part as best as he could.

He opened his fridge, wincing at the guilt that washed over him at the sight of the food Saki had bought and left for him the last time she was here. He sighed softly, grabbing the needed supplies to make a sandwich.

Even while making it, the food for his sandwich didn't smell appealing.

Having the flu usually made things taste and smell gross.

Then again, so did being a ghoul.

He shook that thought off and frowned, staring at his half made sandwich.

_**"Why don't you just eat already...?"** _

Mikado jerked, startled, and looked over his shoulder to find the source of that voice. He was met only by emptiness and he shuddered, forcing himself to go back to making his food. It still looked unappealing when it was done, and Mikado eyed it wearily as he leaned over his sink and took a bite.

The taste was just as disgusting as before and Mikado threw the sandwich into the sink as he puked, shuddering violently and gripping the counter as if it were his only life line. His throat burned and his stomach hurt, his body quivering.

He pushed himself away from the sink and stumbled to the living room, running his shaking hand through his hair.

**_"Why are you so in denial...?"_ **

Mikado stumbled and looked around, looking for the source of the voice he heard. It was a girl's voice, low and calm, but there was no one else around. He grit his teeth and sighed, jerking in surprise when a vibrating noise sounded from across the room. Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Mikado followed the noise, pushing aside one of his folded up blankets and seeing a phone that was definitely wasn't his. He picked it up and examined it, realizing it was Saki's.

_She must have left if here when she was here last..._

He put it in his pocket, making a mental note to give it to Masaomi at school the next day. He could only imagine how frantic Saki was, looking for it.

**_"She smells delicious, doesn't she?"_ **

Mikado stiffened and shook his head, bringing one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I must really be low on sleep..."

_**"Denial? How cute. But don't the hunger pains make it hard to ignore?"** _

"Shut up," Mikado hissed through grit teeth. He pushed himself up to his feet again and stumbled to the bathroom, gripping the sink so tight that his bones in his hands ached. He sucked in a sharp breath, wincing as his stomach twisted in hunger. "Damn it..."

_**"Eat."** _

"I can't," Mikado snapped, shaking his head again. "I can't eat!"

_**"You eat the wrong things."** _

"I eat what humans eat," Mikado whispered, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood on his tongue. The taste made him jerk and he shuddered, swallowing a mouthful of bloody saliva and then hissing through his teeth. "I'm human..."

_**"You were."** _

"I  _am_."

_**"You're not."** _

"I am!" Mikado snarled as he looked up into the mirror. His heart skipped a beat and he stiffened, staring at his inhuman eye. A scream built up in his throat and he stumbled away from the sink, leaning heavily against the bathroom wall as he covered his eye. "Stop it! Stop it!"

**_"You took long enough to freak out..."_ **

"Leave me alone!"

_**"So touchy..."** _

"Stop..." He shook his head again, hands raking through his hair as he let out a choked sob. His eyes stung with tears that quickly made their way down his cheeks and the boy shuddered, sliding down to the floor. "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!"

_**"I haven't done anything."**_  The girlish voice murmured.  ** _"I was offering you help."_**

"I didn't ask!" Mikado screamed, throwing his head back and letting it slam into the wall. Pain radiated through his skull and he choked on another sob. "Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone, leave-"

_**"Breathe."** _

Mikado gasped softly and gulped, looking up. His eyes widened at the girl that sat across from him. Her hair was bright red and only reached a little past her ears. Her eyes were that of a ghouls, black and veiny, and she cocked her head at him slowly. Mikado tried to scoot back, but he had no more room to do so. "Wh...who are-"

"Mikado? It's me, Saki!"

Mikaod gasped and looked towards the open bathroom door before he turned back to the red haired girl, only to find her gone. His heart hammered in his chest as he brought shaking hands up to grip the front of his shirt. His lungs ached as he gasped for air, his head swimming as he tried to make sense of everything and-

"Mikado?"

Mikado stiffened and slowly looked up, eyes widening as he met the gaze of Saki, who stood in the bathroom doorway. The girl's eyes grew wide as she stared at him, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. "Oh my god..."

"S-Saki..."

"Mikado, you poor thing..." Saki murmured as she stepped over and knelt beside him. She gasped when Mikado flailed, trying to get away from her, and she quickly grabbed his shoulders. "Hey, wait! Relax, it's okay!"

"Y-you shouldn't...!" He shook his head so hard that it made him dizzy all over again. He grabbed Saki's hands, but made no further move to make her back off. "I-I'm not safe!"

"Ridiculous," Saki murmured, squeezing Mikado's hands gently. She smiled a little bit. "Do you want to hurt me?"

"Wh-...no!" Mikado assured, eyes wide.

"Then you won't." The girl smiled. "Now come on, stand up. Let's go sit in the living room, okay?"

Mikado felt numb as he let the girl help him to his feet. Every logical part of him knew that it wasn't safe for Saki to be anywhere close to him. The part of him that was desperate, though, begged the logical part of him to shut the hell up for once. Saki led him to the living room and had him sit down, bringing her hands up to carefully easy Mikado's Raira jacket off and set it aside. She smiled a bit and bit her lip. "...You're a ghoul?"

"No," He insisted quietly, looking down at his lap. "I...I mean I wasn't born like this. I...I was human up until...recently."

"What happened?" She asked softly.

"That's what I've been trying to figure out..." He breathed. He pulled his knees up to his chest and grit his teeth. "R-remember when I told you and Masaomi that I passed out? And the next day I started getting sick?" When the girl nodded, Mikado continued. "That morning...That morning I woke up with some...some weird scar on my side, like a surgical scar. It's never been there, and it's only recently started to go away which is weird because...those things don't just go away like that. After that I...this... _I don't know_."

Saki made a soft noise and shifted to sit next to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "Mikado..."

Mikado stiffened, the girl's scent washing over him and making him shudder. He pushed away from her and covered his nose, shaking his head. "D-don't..."

"Sorry," Saki winced and then sighed softly, biting her lip. "...This whole time you've been dealing with this..."

"Don't tell Masaomi," Mikado whispered, feeling the tears well up in his eyes again. When Saki looked at him in shock, he shook his head. "Please...please, Saki, you  _can't_  tell Masaomi. I...I can't let him know, I just can't. I...I can't lose my best friend again."

Saki furrowed her eyebrows in thought and then nodded, sighing softly. "...I won't tell but only on one condition.'

Mikado blinked, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. "Wh-what condition?"

"You need to eat." Saki stated bluntly, frowning a little. "I...I know that it sounds horrifying but you need to, Mikado. Nothing good will come of you starving yourself like this."

"I...I can't just  _eat_  somebody, Saki," Mikado murmured, gulping. "I...I can't kill somebody..."

"You won't have to," Saki cut in quickly, shaking her head. She looked around and grabbed Mikado's school bag, digging around in it until she fished out a pen and one of his notebooks. She scribbled down something on a piece of paper and gestured to it. "If you go here, they'll take care of you. It's a ghoul safe house...sort of. They feed ghouls who don't want to kill. Its like a...free meal, basically."

Mikado took the notebook with trembling hands and frowned, glancing up at her. "H...how do you know about this place?"

"I told you, I know people who are friends with ghouls." Saki smiled softly and shrugged, staring at him. "But I was serious...I won't tell if you go there and eat. If you keep starving yourself then Masaomi  _will_  find out."

Mikado felt his stomach twist, as if he'd puke, but he knew he wouldn't. He shook his head, barely, and set the notebook aside so he could bury his face in his hands. "What's fucking happening to me?"

"I don't know," Saki murmured as she inched closer. "...But we'll find out. Okay? We can...work with this somehow. But the main thing we should focus on is getting you in better shape to deal with it. You need to go to that address tomorrow, okay?"

"...Okay." Mikado relented, rubbing his face before he looked back at her. "...What are you even doing here, Saki?"

Saki blinked in surprise and then laughed a bit. "Oh, I was coming by to see if I had left my phone here by accident. I can't find it anywhere at home."

Mikado blinked and couldn't help the laugh that spilled past his lips. "Of all things..." He reached into his pocket and held the girl's phone out to her. "Yeah, I just found it before you showed up."

"Oh thank god," Saki took the phone and sighed softly, smiling at Mikado again. "You're such a life saver, Mikado."

"Says the one who probably just saved  _my_  life," Mikado smiled a bit and then he sighed. "...You should get home before it gets any darker outside."

Saki looked hesitant and she frowned, glancing down at her phone. "...Will you be alright by yourself tonight?"

"I'll be fine," He couldn't really tell if that was a lie or not, but he smiled at her anyways.

Saki sighed and then frowned, flipping open her phone. "I'm going to text you so you have my number. If something happens just...tell me. Tell me, okay?"

Mikado was caught off guard by the way the girl stared at him, so concerned and firm. He hesitated and nodded slowly. "...Alright. I'll let you know if anything happens..."

Saki didn't look any more content as she stood up. Mikado stood up, too, and led the girl to the door. Saki glanced at him and smiled slightly at him. "Try to rest."

"I will," He assured as he opened the door for her. "...Thank you, Saki."

Saki nodded and waved to him as she walked out, and when Mikado closed the door he let himself sink to the floor. The apartment, now, smelled like Saki. Her scent hung heavily into the air and it made Mikado gasp softly, shaking his head. "Stop.."

"But she really does smell good."

* * *

"I was starting to get really worried when you didn't show up the other day." Shinra murmured as he started to wrap clean bandages around the torso of the young blond sitting before him.

Hide laughed, a sound that made him wince shortly after. "I was a little too sore to move, I guess...Kaneki didn't want me to get up."

"I didn't want you to strain yourself," Kaneki murmured from the other couch, arms crossed.

Hide smiled softly, looking over at him. "I would have been okay."

"You could have called," Shinra added as he threw a small smile at Kaneki. "I would have made a house call."

"I didn't want to bother you," Kaneki murmured. He watched Shinra apply the bandages to Hide's torso, winced a bit at the small glimpse he got of Hide's torn skin. The wounds would take another few months to be anywhere close to comfortable. Kaneki shifted and stood up, walking over to stand by a window as he looked outside. "Thank you, though, Shinra. For everything."

"I told you before, don't mention it." Shinra assured. He finished bandaging Hide and leaned away, smiling at the blond. "Now take it easy, okay? Don't reopen your wounds or anything."

"I'll try," Hide offered as he lowered himself to lay back down on the couch.

Shinra smiled softly, looking up as he heard the front door open. Celty walked in, shoulders slumped, and she paused when she saw Hide and Kaneki. Shinra smiled. "Hey, welcome back, Celty."

Celty waved and pulled out her PDA, typing.

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah," Shinra waved a hand dismissively as he stood up. "I was just giving Hide that check up, finally. How'd work go?"

Celty shrugged, a vague gesture as she sat down. Kaneki smiled a little. "Transporting again?"

"Ah, no, actually," Shinra started to gather up his medical supplies he had laid out on a chair by the couch Hide was laying on. "The CCG asked Celty to help them hunt down ghouls."

Kaneki blinked in surprise, tilting his head. "Really? That's resourceful of them."

Shinra glanced over at the white haired boy. "She won't let them know about you or Hide or anything else. She's hunting down the ghouls that have been killing people here in the city. As long as you're not running around killing people left and right you should be fine."

"I don't do my own killing here," Kaneki assured softly.

Celty sat up and typed on her PDA, holding it out to Kaneki. Kaneki came closer so that he could read it.

"Does another Ghoul do it for you?"

"You could...say that," Kaneki murmured. He moved to sit by Hide, pulling the blond's feet into his lap. "There's always a place for ghouls to go when they don't want to kill. For my ward, it was a coffee shop. In another it was a warehouse. Here, it's...a restaurant, of sorts."

"A ghoul restaurant," Shinra mused.

Hide sat up enough to prop himself up on his elbows, wincing. "It's like a safe house. Ghouls go...they get food, a place to sit and relax for a while. Ghouls who don't like to kill or that are passing through tend to go. Or ghouls with children, too, since it's dangerous to take a ghoul child out with CCG around."

"For the sake of those innocent ghouls, I hope you won't let the CCG know about that yet.' Kaneki looked back at Celty and frowned a little. "There's no need to attack places like that; they're far from dangerous."

Celty nodded and held up her PDA again.

"I'll keep it in mind but I won't tell the CCG. I might have to check it out myself eventually, though. But not yet."

Kaneki nodded and let out a sigh breath. He stroked Hide's shin lightly and glanced over to meet the blond's gaze and he smiled a bit. "What?"

"You worry too much," Hide murmured softly.

Kaneki chuckled, barely, and then looked back at Shinra. "Can we get more of those pan killers you gave us for Hide? We're nearly out."

"Sure thing," Shinra nodded. "I'll throw in some more sleeping pills, too."

"Thanks," Kaneki nodded and frowned a bit. "There's one more thing I need to ask of you. I'm sorry, I know it's been a lot."

"I don't mind," Shinra insisted as he paused, looking up at him. "What is it?"

Kaneki moved Hide's legs and stood up, a small frown on his lips. "I thought I saw someone earlier, someone that means trouble if you see him. If you meet a man by the name of Uta, let me know immediately."

Shinra blinked, that name ringing a bell. "Uta...Uta? I think I recently did business with a man by that name but it probably isn't the same guy. This guy was just standing watch while I fixed up his bosses."

Kaneki's frown deepened but he nodded. "You'll know this guy when you see him...just if any ghouls who aren't me try to get a hold of you, let me know. You can't trust that many people here."

"You never can in this city," Shinra mumbled as he shook his head. "Hey, why don't you and Hide stay here for the night? It's late and Hide's bled through some of his bandages; it might attract unwanted attention."

Kaneki seemed to visibly relax, as if the fear of such an event had already crossed his mind. "If it isn't much trouble, then okay. Thank you, Shinra."

Shinra smiled and gathered the last of his things before he disappeared to get pillows and blankets for the two. Hide sat up more and looked at Celty, smiling again. "Hey...Celty, can you do that thing again for me?"

Celty hesitated and then her shoulders shook, as if she were laughing. She nodded and took her helmet off, her black wisps of shadows swirling around before they rushed over to run through Hide's hair. Hide laughed, his smile widening as he reached up to let his fingers run through the wisps. "That's so cool..."

Kaneki watched with a fond smile, glad to see Hide grinning like that. He ran a hand through his hair and walked over, letting his fingers run through the wisps, too. "I'm still really fascinated by you, Celty."

Celty shrugged before she gestured to her PDA.

"The fact that I'm a Dullahan?"

"That, and the fact that there's so many creatures out there that I never knew about," Kaneki told her. "Ghouls were one thing...but headless...Fairy things and other such creatures..it's kind of amazing."

" _She's_  amazing," Hide chuckled softly.

The wisps swirled around and went back to Celty as Shinra returned, arms full of pillows and blankets. "Are you flirting with Celty, Hide? Watch out Kaneki, your boyfriend seems to be on the prowl."

Kaneki scoffed lightly as he took the blankets and pillows from Shinra, setting them down, "I think I'm good when it comes to his loyalty. Thanks for letting us stay."

"You're welcome," Shinra waved it off and stretched. "Sleep well, you two. I'll see you in the morning."

Celty and Shinra disappeared, leaving Kaneki and Hide alone. Hide watched as Kaneki set up a bed for himself on the floor by the couch and he smiled a little. "Shinra's too nice to us, you know."

"I know," Kaneki murmured. "...I'm still so glad he helped us when I found him."

"He's a good guy," Hide agreed softly.

Kaneki nodded and walked over, putting a pillow under Hide's head and then covering him with a blanket. He went to move away but gasped in surprise when Hide grabbed his arm and pulled him down, pressing their lips together. Kaneki blushed a bit as they parted and smiled. "You could have asked."

"I know," Hide smiled at him again and let him go. "Goodnight, Kaneki. Stop worrying so much about everything. It's behind us."

Kaneki smiled a little as he nodded, bending down to kiss Hide's head gently. "...Goodnight, Hide."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been super busy with school, so sorry!!!

Shizuo didn't go to work that next day. The pain in his stomach was too much to handle; just smelling the remnants of Tom on his clothes was enough to make his eye do that...thing again, enough to make him storm through his apartment, tearing at the couch cushions and breaking whatever glasses on the counter that weren't already dirty. He'd barely been able to keep his voice steady enough to tell Tom that he was sicker than before, but he was thankful that Tom was understanding.

He spent most of the day on his couch, the TV playing as he tried and failed to pay attention. The thoughts were too loud in his head, begging for flesh. It was driving him crazy, making him tap his fingers on the couch until he had to stuff his hands in his pockets.

**_"Eat...eat, come on already..."_ **

That voice in the back of his head was driving him crazy. It wasn't his but it was loud and demanding, boyish and needy.

Shizuo was convinced he was losing his fucking mind.

Evening took forever to come, and when it did, Shizuo rolled off the couch only to hit the floor with a loud thud. He winced and pushed himself up, running a hand through his hair before he grabbed his phone and his keys. His hands were shaking as he dug out the crumpled up paper with the address Uta had given him days before. He grit his teeth and clenched his fist around it, walking out the front door.

The city was alive, like it always was at night. The streets were packed, people laughing with each other or chatting away on their phones. Shizuo slowed down, inhaling deeply. The scents were all around him.

Men.

Women.

Children?

Definitely children.

He grit his teeth and shook his head to himself, walking faster.

**_"Just do it already..."_ **

"Shut up..." Shizuo muttered to himself, gritting his teeth. "Just shut up..."

He couldn't explain it. That voice just came around every time the hunger pains were too strong. It echoed around in his brain, begging for food and hissing every time Shizuo tried to ignore it. He didn't understand. It was driving him crazy. He hadn't slept much in days between the voice and the damn hunger pains.

The address was closer to him than he expected and he wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. His stomach churned as he stared at the restaurant before him, watching as a few people walked in and a few more left. It made him gulp and he bit the inside of his cheek, walking inside.

It was warm inside, and Shizuo was confused when he saw booths with people, some even with kids. It looked like any regular restaurant, but the smell of human was mixed together with something else, something that reminded him of himself. Which, really, was weird.

"Whoa, you look terrible."

Shizuo blinked and looked over, eyeing a waiter who was smiling at him. The waiter cocked his head to the side as he looked Shizuo up and down. He scoffed. "You look like you haven't slept in a while. How can we help you?"

Shizuo blinked, caught off guard. Did he looked that bad? He hadn't brushed his hair since yesterday and had slept in his clothes. Now that he thought about it, maybe he should have taken a second or two to freshen up but there was no use now. He sighed and glanced around. "I...I was told to come here..."

"For?" The waiter pushed, arching an eyebrow.

Shizuo grit his teeth, trying to keep his temper down. "...Food." He murmured softly.

The waiter looked unamused for a second before his eyes widened in realization. "Oh,  _food_. Right. Go sit at one of the booths in the back, yeah? We'll take care of you."

Shizuo blinked as the waiter turned to go. "W-wait!"

The waiter paused and looked over his shoulder. "If it's about payment then don't worry. Free for our kind."

_Our kind_.

It made Shizuo want to puke. He wasn't one of them. He was  _human_.

**_"Liar..."_ **

Shizuo sat down heavily in a booth, running his hands through his hair as he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose, staring at the ceiling.

**_"Hungry..."_ **

"Tch, shut up," He hissed under his breath. He didn't like doing that...communicating with the voice that echoed around in his head. It made him feel crazy, like the crazy people he'd seen in movies when he was younger. It was bullshit, really, and the anger that welled up inside of him and made the blood in his veins boil was annoying.

Everything was annoying when he was hungry.

* * *

School, that day, had gone by too slowly for Mikado's liking. It's not as if he was in a hurry to get out of school, of course not. But he didn't like staying in class where the scents of all the other students mingled together and invaded his senses. It was harder today to keep himself calm around a of it. Every scent made his heart race and he took a shaky breath every time, biting the inside of his cheek and counting to ten in his head before he continued on with whatever it was he was doing. It wasn't so bad in the halls or outside; at least there, the scents shifted and moved. In the classroom the scents stuck and lingered, wrapping around him and suffocating him until he was sure he'd die.

It was especially hard around Masaomi. He hadn't noticed it before today, but Masaomi smelled... _really fucking good_. And, frankly, that thought terrified him. He hadn't even meant to notice it, but when Masaomi had slung his arm around him that morning, the smell hit him full force and the voice in his head echoed his thoughts.

_**"He smells delicious."** _

Mikado ignored it, to the best of his ability. He shifted in his seat, glancing at the clock. The bell would ring very soon, and he'd walk home and shower before he left to the address Saki had given him.

_Saki..._

Mikado knew she hadn't told Masaomi. The other boy was being too friendly with him to know, and that made Mikado feel just a little less bitter. Masaomi didn't have to know about any of this. Not now, at least. Maybe eventually, when he had all of this somewhat figured out.

**_"You really think that boy would be okay with it?"_ **

Mikado gripped his pen a little tighter, frowning as he tried to focus on his lesson and not on the voice in his head.

_**"Do you have that much faith in him?"** _

Mikado sighed softly and nearly leaped for joy when the class ended. He gathered his things quickly, holding his breath as other students rushed by and past him to get out the door. Anri was waiting for him in the hall, as usual, and she smiled a bit at him as he walked over to her. "Class was pretty long today."

"It didn't feel too long to me," Anri murmured with a small smile. "But you seemed sort of spaced out today, anyways. Are you feeling okay?"

Mikado shrugged a bit, smiling as they started walking. "I think it's just from being sick. I lost a lot of sleep and everything so my body is probably catching up with everything. I'll probably be okay tomorrow."

"I hope so," Anri nodded. "I'm worried. You just haven't...looked so well lately. I'm probably just over thinking it, though. I'm glad you're finally starting to feel better. I'm glad you didn't fall too far behind in class, too."

"Thanks to you." The boy reminded her as they turned a corner and started down a flight of stairs. "Really, if you and Masaomi hadn't been looking out for me I'd be totally screwed."

"I know," She laughed softly, brushing hair behind her ear. The action was small, simple, but sent a small wave of the girl's scent straight into Mikado's nostrils. He stiffened and bit the inside of his cheek as Anri continued to speak. "You'd do the same for me, though, so it's okay; it's what friends do."

"Yeah..." Mikado trailed off, frowning a little bit. He didn't like it, the way Anri was so unknowing in...all of it.

They made it out side where Masaomi was already waiting, an arm slung around Saki. The blond saw Mikado and grinned. "Hey, Mikado! Didn't fall asleep in class, did you?"

"Almost," Mikado admitted, shrugging. He met Saki's eye and smiled at her. "Hey, Saki."

"Hey, Mikado," She grinned back, ignoring the curious look Masaomi was giving her as she stepped closer and hugged Mikado, startling the boy. She grinned and stepped back after a second. "Sorry, I'm just still really glad you're feeling better. When I picked my phone up from your place last night you looked terrible. I'm glad you could still come to school."

Mikado knew, somehow, that she really meant, " _I'm glad you feel sane enough to show up_."

Mikado chuckled, feeling his face heat up from the confused, and slightly surprised, look on Masaomi's face. After all, it wasn't every day that Saki and Mikado were on such close terms. "You helped a bunch, so I should thank you again."

"No need," She waved him off, looping her arm with Masaomi's again. "We're walking together, right? Let's go."

They all fell into step together, Masaomi throwing a look at Mikado. "You doing okay in class?"

"Yeah, I was just telling Anri that if you two hadn't been looking out for me, I'd be totally lost." He smiled a little bit, sheepish. "You two are really great friends."  _And I'm lying to them both..._

_**"You get used to it."** _

Mikado forced down a shudder and chuckled. "I don't know how to thank you guys."

"Just don't get sick like that again," Masaomi stated firmly, nodding as they stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the signal to change. He looked back at him, cheeks puffed out in irritation. "I was really worried about you, man."

Mikado couldn't help but feel his chest tighten a bit at Masaomi's words. The other's worry for him was genuine, something that always made Mikado feel strange inside. It was funny, now that he thought about it. Before Anri had come along, Mikado was sure that maybe, deep down, he had some sort of puppy crush on his friend. It was hard not to, what with Masaomi's personality. The other was always looking out for him, trying to do what was best for him. Even after what they went through, the fight between the Dollars and Yellow Scarves, Mikado could still feel that slight tug of  _what if_.

It was different now, though. Masaomi had Saki, someone Mikado knew was right for him, and Masaomi was convinced that Mikado was still hot for Anri. Mikado didn't have the heart to tell him that no, those feelings had died over the months. He couldn't tell him that while Anri was cute, sure, his heart was overwhelmed by Masaomi's existence. But it didn't feel like love, at least not like before. Mikado couldn't place it, but it didn't really matter anyways.

**_"What if's are never fun to play with."_ **

That voice made sense sometimes, something Mikado didn't appreciate. He shook away those thoughts and smiled a bit at Masaomi as they crossed the street. "I'll try to stay in perfect health from now on."

"You'd better." Masaomi huffed.

"Like he can help it," Saki scoffed lightly.

"I'll fight the germs that threaten him," Masaomi stated bluntly. "Yep, I'm going to fight germs."

"You do that," Anri laughed. "Let me know how it turns out."

"I'm betting money on the germs," Mikado mock whispered, giggling when Masaomi gasped dramatically.

"You have no faith in me," Masaomi stated, shaking his head and clutching his heart. "Mikado, I'm hurt."

"You're fine," Mikado smiled, elbowing his friend lightly.

Masaomi smiled again and shrugged. They walked in general peace after that, Masaomi making jokes and the others laughing along with him. After a while Masaomi and Saki parted ways, Saki giving Mikado one last smile and wave before Masaomi drug her away. Anri smiled a little bit, shaking her head a little. "Man, Masaomi's always so full of energy at the end of the day."

"It's comforting," Mikado murmured softly, smiling. "I hope he doesn't change."

Anri blinked, a little taken back, and glanced at the boy. She chewed her bottom lip for a second before she spoke as they turned a corner. "You too, you know."

"Hm?"

"Don't change, I mean," Anri murmured, shrugging a little bit. "I mean...lately you've been out of it because you're sick but...after everything that happened, I don't want you to change. You're a really good friend, Mikado and...well, you're great. Masaomi thinks so, too. We both talk about you with each other...we get worried when you aren't yourself. You don't have to change or anything. you're fine the way you are, you know?"

Mikado felt his stomach twist. Guilt? Fear? "Well...what if I  _had_  to?"

"...Then don't let it change your heart," Anri murmured, frowning as she tried to place her words correctly. She sighed and waved it off. "I'm sorry, I don't know where I was going with that. I just..." She stopped walking, taking a deep breath. "...You can tell me things. Even if you can't tell Masaomi. I'll help you however I can. You don't have to take everything on yourself; it's not good for you."

"I feel like your accusing me of something," He chuckled, hoping it didn't sound as nervous as it was. "I'm fine, Anri. Thanks."

"I know," She breathed, smiling as she shrugged. "Over thinking, I guess. Anyways, I'm parting this way now."

"Walk safe," Mikado waved.

He waited until Anri was out of sight to let out a breath he didn't remember holding. He gripped the strap of his school bag tighter and turned, yelping in surprise when he nearly collided with a familiar information broker.

"You really should watch where you're going," Izaya chuckled, tilting his head at the startled boy.

"I didn't see you," Mikado breathed, frowning a little. He shifted on his feet, glancing to the side.

Izaya smiled and shrugged. "Can't be helped. Ne, how are you feeling? I heard you were awfully sick."

Mikado cocked his head to the side. "How'd you find that out?"

"I have my ways," Izaya waved the question off and smiled again. "Feeling well enough for school, I see?"

"Since yesterday," Mikado mumbled, nodding stiffly. "Did you need something?"

"How rude," Izaya mock sighed. "I showed up out of my own concern for you."

Mikado sighed a little bit, nodding. "Sorry...I'm still a little out of it, I guess. I kind of just want to go home."

"Well, I'll walk you there," Izaya smiled, slinging his arm around Mikado's shoulders and leading him down the sidewalk. "Was it the flu?"

"What?"

"Whatever illness you had," Izaya clarified. "Was it the flu?"

"I don't really know." Mikado murmured. He felt a little distracted, Izaya's scent washing over him in a wave. It made Mikado's stomach twist and he swallowed thickly, forcing himself to speak again. "Whatever it is, I'm just glad I feel better."

"I supposed that's what really matters," Izaya nodded.

Mikado walked stiffly and frowned again. "...Not to...be rude or anything but...I doubt that you came just to check on me."

"Well, that's true," Izaya nodded. "Shizu-Chan isn't out today.  _Again_. I was bored."

"He's been gone a lot lately, from what I hear," Mikado murmured. "I think he's sick or something."

"Shizu-Chan doesn't get sick," Izaya chuckled, forcing down the small and knowing smirk that made it's way onto his face. "Maybe he died?"

"No, he's alive," Mikado assured, a little stiffly. "You shouldn't say something like that..."

"Oh, I'm only kidding. Relax a little," Izaya scoffed. They turned a corner and crossed a street, the informant sighing a bit. "Ne, you're much too tense, Mikado."

"I'm just tired," The boy mumbled, forcing a smile. "Sorry. You just got me on a bad day."

"It's to be expected," Izaya shrugged. "The ghoul attacks have been a lot closer lately, yeah?"

Mikado tried not to go stiff, he really did. "I guess...I try not to pay attention to them. It freaks me out...incidents always show up on the Dollars forum, though. Nothing too close but..."

"Still something to worry about," Izaya murmured, smirking a bit. "A little thing like you might make a good meal."

Mikado forced a shaky laugh. "I'd...rather not be the meal."

"Well, I certainly don't see you as the ghoul," Izaya snorted before he thought about it. "Certainly not. You're too normal to be a ghoul."

"Uh...thanks?"

Izaya cackled to himself, stepping away from the boy as his apartment complex came into view. "We part ways, Mikado! Stay safe~"

Mikado watched the other walk away, frowning to himself. He welcomed the lack of Izaya's scent, though, and ran a hand through his hair as he went up the stairs. When he got inside he shut and locked his door, dropping his school bag and letting out a sigh, sliding down to the floor and leaning his head back against the door.

_**"Eat..."** _

"I'm going to," He muttered as he shook his head. "Soon..."

_**"Should have sunk your teeth into Orihara-San..."** _

Mikado frowned and closed his eyes. "No."

There was no reply, only silence. Idly, he wondered if it was normal to talk to...whatever it was that was speaking to him. He was still confused, wondering about the red haired girl that had been before him, for that split second, before Saki arrived. He must have been hallucinating, or something like that, because he knew for a fact that he'd never seen her before.

The question was on the tip of his tongue, making home on his lips, but would go no further. Was the red haired girl the same voice that spoke to him?

He didn't want to think about it, though, and pushed himself up to his feet. He went and took a shower, washing away the dirt from the day and pulled on black jeans and a T-shirt, slipping on his sweater as he waited for the sun to begin it's journey down to the horizon.

It was only starting to get dark when Mikado pocketed his keys and phone, walking out the door. The streets were bustling with life, every face that walked passed him followed by a scent that felt like a punch to the gut. Holding his breath had become something he had mastered, though, thanks to the days spent with Saki and the time spent at school.

_Boys...girls..._

Laughter from those around him, from the groups of teenagers that passed him.

_Men...women...kids..._

The scents hit him hard every time he passed someone. His stomach churned and he sped up, holding his breath as he bit the inside of his cheek. He broke into a sprint, weaving through the crowd and ducking through alleys as his heart pounded in his chest. That voice was whispering in his head but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what it was saying.

The restaurant came into view before he realized it. He didn't know what he expected, really, when it came to appearance. It looked like any other restaurant, with people walking out as he walked in. He was caught off guard by the overwhelming... _human_  scent that lingered in the air. If it weren't for the underlying scent of something that definitely wasn't human, he would have though he'd walked into the wrong place. It was there, though, the stench of what he could only assume was ghoul.

"Yo."

Mikado paused and glanced over at a waiter who was looking at him, waiting. He bit his lip and cleared his throat. "Uh, I was...told to come here for...uh, food?"

"Another one," The waiter nodded, gesturing to the booths. "Go on and sit there; we'll take care of ya, kid."

Mikado watched the other walk away and sighed, chewing his lip as he started looking for a place to sit. A familiar blond head caught his attention though and his eyes widened as he walked closer, head cocking to the side. "Shizuo?"

Shizuo sat up and looked over at him, eyes widening; Mikado had never seen Shizuo without his glasses. He squinted at Mikado before he frowned. "...Ryuugamine, right?"

"Y...yeah," Mikado breathed. He glanced around and spoke softly. "Y...you're a...ghoul?"

Shizuo blinked, almost letting himself get angry, and then he sighed. He leaned back and frowned. "That'd be a damn good excuse for my weird super strength...no, I'm not a ghoul. Er...I mean, I wasn't always...whatever, fuck it. It's stupid."

"...No, I..I'm not either," Mikado murmured, slowly sitting down across from the other.

Shizuo scoffed. "But you're  _here_."

"I woke up like this," Mikado murmured. He frowned, trying to form the right words for what he wanted to explain. He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. "I passed out in my kitchen the other day...I woke up and I had this weird medical scar, like I had gone through surgery or something. Only, I hadn't had a surgery. Not at all and...and I got really sick after that. I only just recently was able to go back to school after a week..." He shook his head a little. "...I wasn't born a ghoul-"

"But after you got sick, your eye changed," Shizuo cut in, leaning forward with wide eyes. When Mikado nodded slowly, Shizuo scoffed. "...I passed out after I left a bar last week. I woke up with a scar in my side and feeling like shit. Next thing I know, I've got a ghoul eye and suddenly I'm not fucking human."

Mikado scoffed back and shook his head, too. "...We're the same, then."

"Apparently," Shizuo murmured as he frowned. "...This sort of thing doesn't just fucking happen, kid."

"No shit," Mikado breathed, sighing. He glanced around and hesitated before he cleared his throat. "...I did some research into it."

Shizuo scoffed a bit, falling silent as he watched the waiter from before walk over to them. He placed two plates before them, plates piled with mounds of meat that were soaking in red liquid. The food instantly made Mikado's brain go blank, his mouth watering. He clenched his fists under the table as the water set down mugs of coffee for them, too.

"Enjoy." The waiter waved before he walked off.

There was a moment of stressed silence before the two. Shizuo stared at his food, taking a shaking breath. "Wh...what do you think it is?"

_**"Heart."** _

"Heart, probably..." Mikado murmured, echoing that voice in his head. He lifted a shaking hand and grabbed a knife and fork, succumbing to the hunger that snarled deep in his belly. The knife cut through the organ on his plate roughly, the blood that it soaked in sloshing around a bit. He didn't think twice as he brought a forkful into his mouth, making a noise of content as he chewed.

Shizuo watched, partially horrified and partially intrigued. He glanced back at his food and bit his lip. His stomach growled angrily and that damn voice spoke up again.

**_"Eat...eat! Please...please, we'll die..."_ **

"Is...is it...good?" Shizuo asked, looking back at Mikado.

The boy paused and blinked, swallowing the mouthful of meat in his mouth. He hesitated, a wave of guilt and disgust washing over him. "...It's the best thing I've eaten in days." He admitted. "In...in ever, really. Plus I'm just starving...and you probably are, too. You should eat, Shizuo."

Shizuo looked back at his food and sucked in a sharp breath, picking up his fork and knife. His knife cut through the organ as roughly as Mikado's had and Shizuo almost gagged as the blood on his plate sloshed and moved around. He shut his eyes as he brought his fork to his mouth, a wave of euphoria washing over him as he started to chew.

The hunger deep in his stomach rumbled and grew, for a moment, before a deep feeling of content washed over him. His eyes opened slowly, focusing on Mikado's that were gawking right back at him. Mikado blushed slightly at being caught staring, looking back down at his own plate as he forced himself to eat again. It had caught him off guard to see Shizuo so content, to see the euphoria wash over the man's face.

"...I looked into it." Mikado said finally, breaking the strained silence as they both allowed and forced themselves to eat. "This...suddenly being a ghoul, thing, I mean..."

Shizuo chewed slower, watching as Mikado looked back at him. The blond frowned and cocked his head to the side. "And?"

"There's...rumors I've gathered from lingering in the Dollars forums," Mikado started slowly, frowning as he tried to place his words correctly. "Did you ever catch anything about that stuff that went down in the twentieth ward?"

"Sorta," Shizuo murmured, taking another bite. "Bits and pieces..."

"Well, there was a bunch of talk about a ghoul called Eyepatch or something like that," Mikado told him, setting his fork and knife down. "There's been a lot of underground rumors that he was...made. Born human but something...happened. People think it's totally unrealistic, yeah, but the possibility...and then if you think about whatever...happened with us..."

Shizuo frowned, feeling his stomach churn for a reason other than hunger for the first time in days. "So...someone just decided to scoop us up and fuck us over?"

"I...I'd like to think that maybe it was just a coincidence," Mikado sighed. He brought a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I...I mean it's not like there's much to connect the two of us if this  _was_  on purpose." He cracked a small smile. "The only thing we have in common is the Dollars."

Shizuo scoffed and nodded as he looked down at his food. "...Shit doesn't make any sense and-"

"Ah, I'm so glad you aren't alone, Heiwajima-San!"

Shizuo paused and looked up, letting out a soft breath. "Uta..."

The ghoul smiled a bit and looked at Mikado. Mikado squinted at him and blinked. "You're the guy who gave me the candy."

Uta nodded, smiling again. "I am. What a surprise to run into you. I had no idea you were...well, you know."

"He isn't," Shizuo cut in. "...Er...he  _wasn't_."

"Ah, you're in the same situation?" Uta gasped, eyeing Mikado. "How strange."

Mikado frowned, confused, but bit back any comment that threatened to come out of his mouth. He forced up a very small smile. "W-would you like to sit with us?"

"Oh, no," Uta waved a hand in dismissal. "Thank you, though." He paused, looking over the food on Mikado and Shizuo's table. "You should drink your coffee before it gets cold; it's the only human thing our kind can consume."

"You're serious?" Shizuo blinked, glancing at his coffee.

Uta nodded, examining his black painted nails. "Mhm. It's better warm, I assure you."

His curiosity getting the best of him, Mikado grabbed his coffee and brought it to his lips. His eyes widened and he nodded as he swallowed, looking at Shizuo in shock. "It's good."

Shizuo frowned, hesitant. He brought his coffee to his lips and took a drink, letting out a sigh after. "I would have broken someones neck if it had tasted like shit."

Mikado cracked a small smile before he glanced back at Uta. "So...you and Shizuo know each other?"

"A little," The ghoul nodded. "I was just checking on him; I've been awfully worried for him. I'm glad he's at least found a friend."

Mikado smiled again and shrugged. "Yeah...I'm glad, too."

"It's a bit strange though," Uta mused, arms crossing. "The two of you in the same situation, I mean. Poor dears."

Shizuo grunted, frowning. "It doesn't make sense."

"It'll make sense eventually," Mikado murmured as he bit his lip. "...I want to figure it out, I mean."

Shizuo glanced at Mikado before he looked at Uta. "Is there anyway you can help us?"

Uta blinked and thought about it, shrugging. "Maybe? I'm not sure if..." He trailed off, eyes narrowing at the window behind the two. He frowned and cleared his throat. "I'll certainly see what I can do, but I'm afraid I have to leave now."

"So soon?" Mikado arched an eyebrow, surprised.

Uta smiled again and patted Mikado's head. "I'll be seeing you, I'm sure." He turned to Shizuo and smiled again. "Take care of yourself, Heiwajima-San."

They watched the man leave and Mikado frowned, not entirely sure how he felt about this Uta guy. He looked back at Shizuo and offered a small smile. "At least we have one ghoul on our side."

"I wouldn't exactly say on our side," Shizuo mumbled. "I wouldn't trust someone that easily, at least..."

"I guess you're right," Mikado agreed.

They finished up their meal in mutual, comfortable silence.

When their plates had been collected they went outside, Shizuo running a hand through his hair. "...You live around here?"

"Uh, few blocks that way," Mikado gestured to the left.

Shizuo didn't live in that direction, but it didn't seem to matter much. "I'll walk you home. You're still a kid, after all."

"You don't have to..." Mikado murmured, even though they had already fallen into step with each other.

"I want to." Shizuo grunted, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It isn't safe at night, remember?"

Mikado smiled a little as he followed. "Thank you, Shizuo..."

Shizuo shrugged a bit. "No problem."

They walked in general silence for a while, the sounds of the city echoing around them. Gradually, a sinking feeling started to well inside of Mikado's stomach. He felt eyes on them, though he couldn't exactly place where from. He frowned and reached out, grabbing Shizuo's shirt. "Hey-"

"We're being watched," The other murmured. At Mikado's confused look he shrugged. "I deal with Izaya on an almost weekly basis; I can tell when I'm being watched."

"What do we do?" Mikado asked.

Shizuo frowned and thought about it.

_**"Run."** _

Shizuo blinked, startled by the calmness of the voice in his head. He frowned and grabbed Mikado's wrist, tugging him into the closest alley as he sped up. Mikado stumbled and gasped, speeding up to keep up with the older man's longer strides. "Sh-Shizuo?"

"Something is telling me to run," The man grunted as they turned into another alley. "I'm not going to ignore whatever it is."

A scent hit Mikado's senses, one that cut off his reply and sent every cell in his body into high alert. He looked behind him, startled at the figure following after them in the shadows. The scent was both familiar and not, something that made his blood pump faster.

"Fuck!"

They hit a dead end and Shizuo grit his teeth, frowning. He yanked Mikado behind himself as he turned towards their pursuer. "Stay there, kid."

Mikado blinked but fell silent as their pursuer stepped out of the shadow of the alley way. He wasn't any taller than Mikado, maybe, and had pure white hair. His face was hidden by a mask that covered everything, save for one black and hungry looking eye. The stranger lifted a hand, cracking a finger as he cocked his head to the side, the action sending a shudder down Mikado's spine. "H-he's a ghoul..."

Shizuo didn't say anything, frowning as he clenched a fist. His heart was hammering in his chest out of fear, but between himself and Mikado, he knew  _someone_  had to be the brave one.

"Who the hell are you?" Shizuo snapped.

"I should ask you that," The stranger commented, voice muffled by his mask.

"Fuck off," Shizuo snapped again, gritting his teeth. "You don't want to piss me off right now, buddy."

"Is that so?" The stranger murmured, tentacle like appendages unfurling from under his shirt and spreading out, intimidating.

Mikado gasped and gulped, feeling his heart pounding in his rib cage. "Wh-what is that...?"

_**"Kagune. It'll kill you on the spot if you let it."**_  That voice in his head, calm as usual, said.

Mikado watched the tentacles sway before he pressed back against a wall.

Shizuo grit his teeth and took a shuddering breath before he scoffed. "You think I'm scared of some shrimp sized ghoul?"

Shizuo hardly registered the tentacles flying at him, wasn't even sure how he'd barely caught it to begin with. He jerked to the left, shoving Mikado away so hard that the kid skid across the hall, hitting another wall. Mikado let out a pained hiss as Shizuo stumbled back, barely avoiding a tentacle that swatted his way. "Fuck!"

"Shizuo!" Mikado sat up and winced, rubbing the back of his head.

_**"He'll die."**_  The voice whispered.

Mikado grit his teeth, watching as Shizuo ran at the ghoul with full speed. The boy winced, watching as the ghoul's kagune swatted Shizuo away, slamming the man into a wall so hard that it cracked beneath him. Shizuo slid down to the ground, holding the back of his head, and Mikado struggled to stand. "Sh-Shizuo!"

"That fucking hurt!" Shizuo screamed as he looked back up, one eye black and red.

Mikado gasped and pressed back against the wall behind him, feeling his blood run cold. But, beneath the terror, there was another feeling. A feeling that stirred in his belly, burning hot, like he wanted to fight.

Shizuo let out an angry yell and Mikado stared in a mixture of horror and confusion as the man's shirt tore at the shoulder. It slithered out, a wide and bright green colored...thing. It slithered out along Shizuo's right arm, pointed tip sticking out a good four inches past Shizuo's finger tips. Mikado gasped and closed his eyes, grabbing his head.  _What is that?!_

_**"His kagune,"**_  The voice murmured, calmer than ever.  _ **"I know that kagune."**_

"Wh-what's it doing on him?" The boy whimpered cracking his eyes open in time to watch Shizuo's kagune clash with the strange ghoul's.

**_"You're both ghouls, or have you already forgotten?"_ **

Mikado paused, breath hitching. He grit his teeth, watching as Shizuo swung that...pointed kagune, cutting into the tentacles that lashed out at him. The strange, white haired ghoul jerked back, narrowly avoiding a swing that would have probably gotten him right in the face. One of the tentacles swung at Shizuo, knocking the man into another wall with enough force to crack it again. Gritting his teeth, Shizuo stood back up, wincing as he coughed up blood. The blood splattered on the ground and Shizuo's shoes and the blond hissed. "You bastard..."

"Who are you?" The white haired ghoul asked, tentacles kagune driving through Shizuo's shoulders before Shizuo even had the chance to react.

Shizuo screamed out, wincing as he stared back at the masked ghoul. "Why don't you tell me who the fuck  _you_  are?!"

The white haired ghoul tilted his head as he stared at Shizuo. "...Half ghoul. What are you doing here?"

"I live here, asshole!" Shizuo hissed, thrashing. His movements drove the other's kagune deeper into his shoulders, making him wince.

The white haired ghoul seemed unsatisfied with the answer, throwing Shizuo into the wall again and stepping closer. He cracked a finger again, just one, and poised a tentacle, ready to strike. "Not anymore."

Shizuo blinked, vision blurry, and waited for the pain to explode within his body. A glimmer of blue, bright and blinding, flew past him before the masked ghoul was knocked away, flying into a wall across the way. Shizuo blinked a few times again and felt his eyes widen at the blue, swishing appendage that emerged from Mikado.

It swished with the motion of a feline tail, really, but it was thick around, and split half way through it into two separate parts that were both pointed at the end. It was like a tail...a dangerous, bright blue tail.

Mikado whirled around, his ghoul eye wide and...hungry looking, while tears welled up in his other blue eye. He dropped down by Shizuo, grabbing his shoulders, barely avoiding the injured part. "Shizuo, are you alright?"

Shizuo's voice caught in his throat as he stared at the swishing...tail behind the kid. That voice in his head  _screamed_.

_**"Hikari!"** _

Shizuo grabbed his head and yelled, shoving Mikado back a bit. "L-let's just get out o here!"

Mikado nodded and stood up, helping Shizuo to his feet. He whirled around again, gasping when he found the tentacled kagune only inches from his face. Heart pounding in his chest, with Shizuo's hand gripping the back of his jacket, Mikado froze. The masked ghoul before him cocked his head to the side, taking a deep breath.

"...You smell like a female ghoul." He murmured slowly. "...Who are you?"

"N-no one important," Mikado assured, watching the tentacles closely as they slowly moved away from him. "W-we just want to go home...w-we were getting a meal and now we're done. I-if this is your territory or...or something, we're leaving. I promise."

There was a tense silence, Shizuo's ragged breathing and Mikado's own heartbeat the only things the boy could hear. The masked ghoul stepped back, turning on his heel and walking away without another word. Mikado exhaled loudly, looking over his shoulder at Shizuo. "Are you-"

"He just fucking  _left_ ," Shizuo gasped out, staring at the retreating ghoul. "...What the fuck..."

"I don't know..." Mikado murmured, a hand coming up to grab his head as it throbbed. "My head..."

The ground was rushing at him, suddenly, and Mikado could have sworn Shizuo was yelling his name.

But why would he?

* * *

The ringing of his cell phone was a bit of a surprise. Izaya answered it, leaning back in his seat, "Hello?"

"Your little pawns may not last very long," Uta's voice sand idly.

Izaya frowned a bit, arching an eyebrow. "And why do you say that?"

"A familiar face appeared," Uta replied. "I'm just saying, this one has a habit of...killing things. But, who knows? Maybe your pawns will surprise us. They're together, you know."

"Shizu-Chan and Mikado?" Izaya asked.

"They were eating together," Uta nodded. "At a place that serves food to ghouls. A safe haven, basically."

"That's no fun," Izaya muttered bitterly as he scoffed. "A place that takes care of useless ghouls..."

"They were eating together, I'm sure they probably left together." Uta continued. "And-"

"We'll talk later," Izaya cut in cheerily, ending the call before he dialed another number.

"CCG headquarters," A voice chimed.

Izaya smirked a little. "I'd like to report multiple ghoul sightings in my area."

The game wouldn't be fun at all if things were easy for them, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, just started my new semester so I've been super busy.

_**"Mikado."** _

He frowned, blinking his eyes open. A grey sky greeted him and he frowned, squinting, "What...?"

**_"Mikado."_ **

Mikado sat up and looked around, frowning. Around him the city streets were empty, no cars and no people. The usually bright city lights were off and he pushed himself to his feet, taking a step back. "What's going on...?"

_**"You're sleeping."** _

Mikado whirled around, stumbling back. The red haired girl stood before him, her eyes blackened and locked on him. She wore a simple white tank top, jean shorts too, and she stepped closer to Mikado. A small smile pulled at the corner of her lips.

Mikado took another startled step back. "Y-you're that girl from before...th-the one-"

_**"The one you keep hearing."**_ She nodded, pausing a few feet in front of him. _**"My name is Hikari...nice to meet you, Mikado."**_

Mikado frowned and eyed her wearily. "...Why can I...hear you...?"

She hesitated and looked around, frowning a little. _**"I'm the ghoul part of you. I guess. From what I can see..."**_

"H-how is that possible?" Mikado frowned.

She shrugged and looked back at him. A small smile formed on her lips again and she threw her hands up in exasperation. _**"Who knows? The world is weird...and cruel...you don't have to be afraid of me, though, Mikado."**_

Mikado glanced around, awkwardly biting his lip. "...I'm asleep?"

**_"You passed out after that strange ghoul left,"_** Hikari nodded. _**"That man you were with..."**_

"Man..." Mikado murmured before his eyes widened a little. "You mean Shizuo?"

The girl nodded, a hand coming up to brush red hair behind her ears. **_"Protect him for me, okay? I can't do much...I'm just a part of you that doesn't know where it fits in, like a puzzle piece that keeps getting shoved into the wrong place."_**

"Why do you care about Shizuo?" Mikado murmured.

Hikari sighed and walked over to Mikado, hands smoothing down creases in his sweater. _**"I don't...I care about what's inside of him...but I suppose that's him as well now, isn't it? Just like I'm part of you, now, too."**_

Mikado frowned, hands coming up to slowly grab the girl's wrists. He held them in his hands, taking a deep breath. "...When...when Shizuo's kagune came out you...you said you knew it. What did you mean...?"

Hikari grimaced, staring at Mikado's hands holding her wrists. She met Mikado's eye and then shook her head. _**"It doesn't matter...but you two need each other. You're the only ones who can understand each other...protect him. Go, wake up."**_

Mikado blinked, a gasp tearing from his throat as Hikari yanked her hands free. "W-wait...!"

Hikari grabbed Mikado by the front of his jacket, pulling him closer. Mikado's breath caught in his throat, eyes widening as he felt lips at his ear. _**"Wake up."**_ And then he was shoved, the ground rushing at him.

Mikado bolted upright, gasping for air as he looked around. He was on a couch, one he didn't recognize, in an apartment he didn't recognize. His heart pounded against his chest and he jerked, startled by someone emerging from the hall. It was Shizuo, the man's hair messy and his eyes wide. He looked at Mikado, visibly relaxing. "You're finally awake..."

"H-how long was I asleep?" Mikado asked, looking down and noticing the soft blanket that had been draped over him.

Shizuo shrugged and sat down on the couch beside him. "A few hours. It's about midnight. I...didn't know where you lived, so I brought you to my place."

Mikado blinked and nodded, glancing away. "Thank you..."

"I made coffee." Shizuo murmured. "Not as good as that place but it's drinkable if you want any."

"Uh, sure." Mikado glanced up and smiled slightly. "Thanks."

Shizuo nodded and stood up, going over to the kitchen. Mikado noted, then, that Shizuo's apartment kind of smelled, as if food had rotted inside for a while, but had been cleaned out, too. A lingering rotting smell, but not too strong. "I think you have something bad in here..."

Shizuo paused as he reached for a coffee mug in a cabinet. "No, I had rotten food everywhere from the past week...I cleaned it out a day ago."

Mikado didn't bother asking about that, settling for watching the blond move around the kitchen. A part of him was telling him to be scared, a normal reaction for anyone who knew the name Heiwajima Shizuo.

Shizuo came back and handed a mug to Mikado, sitting back down beside him. Mikado took the mug and took a sip. It was bitter, but drinkable. He hesitated and glanced up at Shizuo. "Thank you...for everything."

"I just brought you to my place," Shizuo murmured, reaching forward and grabbing a pack of cigarettes off his living room table.

"No, you protected me back there," Mikado murmured as he watched the man light his cigarette with a lighter he fished out of his pocket. "When that ghoul attacked..."

Shizuo took a drag of his cigarette and leaned back into the couch. He glanced at Mikado, mocha eyes soft, but definitely tired. "I wasn't going to let the bastard kill you. Besides..." He sighed and took another drag, exhaling it slowly. "You saved my ass in the end. Thanks for that."

Mikado felt a slight smile tug at his lips. "...You're nothing like what people said you were."

Shizuo scoffed as he looked at him again. "What, not angry and dangerous enough for you? Sorry to disappoint."

"No, I don't mind," Mikado assured as he shifted, taking another drink. He let the bitter taste wash over his palate before he continued. "I just meant that you're not as...scary as I expected."

Shizuo blinked and glanced away, staring at the cigarette held between his fingers. He stood up and sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "I'll wake you up when I get up for work. You can shower and get ready for school."

"I don't have my school things," Mikado murmured. He shifted and fumbled around in his pockets, pulling out his phone. "I'll have a friend pick them up for me..."

Shizuo nodded and headed for the hall. He paused, shaking his head to rid himself of the insistent chattering he heard in the back of his mind. "I'm the door on the left if you need something."

Mikado sighed to himself, watching Shizuo disappear. He sent a quick text to Anri before he set his phone and coffee down. He laid down, letting his eyes flutter shut, praying he'd get some decent sleep.

* * *

Shinra wasn't exactly surprised to see Kaneki in his living room when he woke up. He was glad, actually. Hide and Kaneki had stayed over the night before again when Hide's wounds had started acting up. Kaneki had left sometime in the night, though, and Celty wasn't able to find him, much to a grumpy Hide's displeasure. But Shinra walked out and saw Kaneki on the couch, Hide's head in his lap, and Shinra sighed a bit. "Glad you're back."

"I was looking into something." Kaneki murmured softly. "That place I told you about."

Shinra nodded and walked over to the other couch, sitting down. "Hide kept pouting."

A small smile tugged at Kaneki's lips. "I bet...I'm sorry. I should have told you where I was going."

"You're not obligated to tell me anything," Shinra assured him as he scooped up the TV remote. "I don't ask questions, you know?"

"I know," The other assured. "I'm glad...you've been a great help, Shinra...you and Celty."

Shinra smiled again and shrugged as he flipped on the TV. He flipped through the TV stations and stopped on a news channel, blinking at the sight of a burning building that he knew wasn't too far from his place. Kaneki jerked, eyes widening. "Turn it up."

"...The entire building was burned, the ghouls taking refuge inside dying in the blaze." A reporter was saying. "The flames from last night are still going but seem to finally be dying down. So far, it's assumed that more than a dozen ghouls were inside when the fire was started from the inside."

"From the inside..." Shinra murmured, frowning. "Why would-"

"They started the fire themselves," Kaneki murmured as he grit his teeth. "The ghouls inside...they chose to burn over letting the CCG murder them...I was there last night, I don't understand..."

"The community is in debt to the mysterious caller revealing this information about the ghoul safe house." The reporter continued.

Kaneki frowned and sighed softly. "Damn it..."

"That's terrible..." Shinra mumbled, shaking his head. He leaned his head back, running a hand through his hair. "...They all committed suicide to get away from the CCG..."

Kaneki didn't speak, instead looking down as he stroked Hide's cheek. He smiled slightly before he looked back at Shinra. "Last night I encountered two ghouls like me."

"Half ghouls?" Shinra asked as he stood up and went to the kitchen area.

"They seemed lower classes, probably not from here," Kaneki continued. "The actions in the twentieth ward probably sent a lot of ghouls flocking here...but those two were there. At that place."

"That have any significance?" Shinra chuckled a bit as he turned on his coffee maker.

"Not to you," Kaneki admitted. "But I'm sure half ghouls like them relied on that place...they'll end up killing innocent people without a place to go."

Shinra crossed his arms, staring at the counter as the noise of the TV played out quietly. "No offense Kaneki, but that's hardly my concern...or yours, for that matter."

"I know," Kaneki murmured. He glanced at Hide again before he sighed heavily, looking away. "It just bothers me...it feels off."

"You get used to that sort of thing around here," Shinra chuckled a bit. He came back a few minutes later, handing Kaneki a mug of coffee before he, too, sat down again. "Things are always happening here and eventually you'll find yourself drawn to or drug into someone else's problem."

"Sounds annoying," Kaneki mumbled, shaking his head.

"It is," the other assured, nodding. "Depends on if you think the situation is worth being in, though, I guess. People's problems are pretty tiring most of the time. Sometimes, though, it's worth it."

Kaneki nodded and sipped his coffee, frowning to himself. They fell into a comfortable silence, Shinra wandering around the house as he started working.

* * *

Shizuo couldn't possibly explain the way his heart stopped or the way his breath caught in his throat when they saw it. They'd been walking towards Raira, Mikado making polite, but awkward, conversation with him. Shizuo went along with it, needing something to kick his brain into gear. They'd seen it at the same time, both of them coming to a halt as Mikado's stuttering voice died in his throat.

The restaurant from before was in shambles, flames licking up the sides and from the broken windows, where the glass had all been. That insistent chattering in the back of his head had actually shut up, leaving Shizuo at a loss for words.

"What.." Mikado shook his head, startled. He inched closer to Shizuo, maybe on instinct.

"I heard the ghouls inside wouldn't open up so they lit themselves and the building on fire." Someone said from the crowd that was steadily growing.

"Good. I can't believe they were this close..."

"I took my _kids_ there."

"Monsters."

Shizuo flinched and frowned, walking away from the scene. Mikado blinked and stumbled after him, biting his lip. "Sh-Shizuo-"

"What?" He snapped, internally wincing when he saw the kid flinch from the corner of his eye.

Mikado waited until they had turned a corner until he spoke again, voice soft and frightened. "...What do we do for food...?"

Shizuo was _really_ hoping the kid wouldn't ask that. How the hell would he have an answer? The fear that had welled up in his body shifted, hardening into anger, now, before he could stop himself. "I don't fucking care what you do for food, kid. You're not my responsibility."

The comment stung and, maybe, it was because Mikado had hoped that in some way, they could be close. The notion was ridiculous, he knew that, but Shizuo and him were alike. Wanting to be close didn't seem too ridiculous from that view point.

Mikado glanced down and came to a stop, biting the inside of his cheek. "Right, sorry."

Shizuo stopped, too, glancing over his shoulder. He sighed, one hand rubbing his temples. "Kid-"

"Mikado!"

Shizuo jerked and glanced over, watching a dark haired girl rush over to them. She held a school bag close to her, one he was sure wasn't hers. Mikado blinked and managed a smile. "Hey, Anri."

The girl stopped before them and smiled a bit before she nodded a bit at Shizuo. She looked back at Mikado, holding the school bag out to him. "Here you go. Your stuff and your uniform is in there."

"You're a life saver," Mikado sighed, taking the bag from her. "Thanks a lot."

It was...actually a little intimidating to watch Mikado interact with this girl, Shizuo noted. The girl had a strong scent, something that lingered in the air and made Shizuo frown a little, but Mikado seemed fine. He was smiling, and even though Shizuo was sure they were forced smiles, they were believable. The kid seemed like a good actor and Shizuo wasn't sure how to feel about that.

People like that reminded him of that flea, _Izaya_.

"We're going to be late for school if we don't head out," Mikado said, smiling at Anri again. He glanced at Shizuo and the man noticed, with a bit of guilt, that the boy's smile faltered a bit. "Thanks for everything, Heiwajima-San."

Ouch. Shizuo was sure they were on a first name basis.

Mikado fell into step with Anri, holding his school bag tightly. Anri shot him a curious look. "What were you doing with Shizuo...?"

"Ah, we got caught up in an accident last night," Mikado murmured, chuckling softly. "I guess I passed out and he took care of me."

"Passed out?" Anri blinked, concern washing over her face. "Are you-"

"I'm okay," He assured, cutting her off. He smiled again at her. "I promise."

For a second she looked ready to argue but, to Mikado's relief, she dropped the subject.

They got to school, earlier than normal, and Mikado excused himself to a bathroom so he could change into his uniform. Anri lingered by the entrance of the school, smiling when Masaomi came striding up to her. "Hey, Anri."

"Hey," She smiled again. "Good morning."

"Is Mikado not here today?" The other blinked and glanced around, frowning a little.

"He's changing into his uniform," Anri assured him, shaking her head. "He should be out in a minute."

"He didn't show up already in uniform?" Masaomi scoffed, shaking his head. "What a slacker..."

"He wasn't home last night," She told him, shrugging. "I had to pick his uniform up for him on my way over here."

Masaomi blinked, head tilting to the side. "Where was he?"

"With Heiwajima-San, actually," Anri replied, biting her lip. "He was walking with him just a while ago..."

"With Shizuo?" Masaomi frowned in confusion. "That's...weird."

Anri nodded and held her book bag a little tighter. "I didn't ask much about it. Mikado didn't seem to want to get into it too much, though."

"It's his business, I guess." He sighed, shrugging as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's just weird."

Anri shrugged, looking over as Mikado made his way over to him. He smiled at Masaomi. "Hey, good morning."

"Good morning, slacker," Masaomi grinned as he slung an arm around Mikado's shoulders. "How ya feelin'?"

Mikado blinked and smiled, leaning into the other. "I'm feeling alright, actually. I'm mostly tired."

"Maybe you should go to bed earlier," Masaomi snorted as he directed Mikado towards class, Anri following them.

* * *

"Can you believe what the news was saying about that restaurant a few blocks over?"

Shizuo blinked at Tom's question, looking up from his phone. They had gone out for their lunch break, though Shizuo had only ordered a coffee. He shut his phone and put it away. "What about it?"

"That it was a ghoul safe house," Tom replied, sipping his drink. "They say at least a dozen ghouls died in there. Set the place on fire to keep the CCG from coming in."

Shizuo frowned, thinking back to all the faces he had walked past in that restaurant. "...It's fucked up."

Tom blinked and looked at him. "What is?"

"That they killed themselves instead of getting taken in," Shizuo murmured as he brought his coffee to his lips. "That's fucked up."

"Since when have you ever cared about ghouls?" Tom asked, leaning back.

Shizuo took a long drink of his coffee and shrugged. "...I'm not but just thinking about so many living creatures willingly dying...it's fucked up."

Tom nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it is. That entire ghoul situation is fucked up...just sounds so dangerous, having a safe house so close."

Shizuo gripped his coffee tighter. "...Ghouls who need a safe house...probably aren't the dangerous ones." He muttered before he stood up. "Are you ready to go? I'm pretty much done here."

Tom stood up and followed Shizuo out. "You know, I'm glad you're finally feeling better. I don't think I've ever seen you get so sick for such a long time."

"Yeah, it sucked," Shizuo murmured, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Threw up about thirty times."

"That sounds really rough," Tom murmured. "Stomach virus or something?"

"Dunno," Shizuo muttered with a lazy roll of his shoulders. "I'm just glad I'm over it now."

Tom smiled and nodded. "Well it's good to have you back."

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Tom."

Shizuo froze, body going stiff as he grit his teeth. "For fuck's sake..."

Shizuo whirled around, eyeing the raven haired male a few feet away. He clenched his fists and stormed over to him, grabbing Izaya by the front of his shirt. "The hell do you want, flea?!"

Izaya grinned, setting his hands on top of Shizuo's. "Shizu-Chan, I came all the way down here to see you. I was so worried, hearing you've been so sick and all. I was so worried about you. But it seems like you're still your usual, brutish self."

"Fuck off," Shizuo growled, shoving Izaya back so hard that the other stumbled. "I'm not in the mood for you."

"So mean," Izaya sighed, shaking his head. He tilted his head, eyeing the other up and down. "You look healthy...what was wrong, hm?"

"None of your damn business," Shizuo snapped. "Get lost."

"What, no play time?" Izaya mock gasped. He shook his head and stepped closer, poking Shizuo's cheek. "You're no fun~"

Shizuo slapped the other's hand away, gritting his teeth. He could feel the rage boiling inside of him, coupled with something that felt stronger...sort of like hunger. He grit his teeth again and took a step back. "Get the fuck out of my face, flea."

"You're so boring today," Izaya sighed, shaking his head. "Have you lost your touch?"

"Shizuo, leave him," Tom murmured, setting a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"That's what I'm _trying_ to do," Shizuo hissed as he shrugged Tom's shoulder off. "But he's trying to start shit!"

"Me? Starting problems?" Izaya mock gasped. He shook his head. "Shizu-Chan, I'm offended that you'd accuse me of such a thing."

Shizuo's eye twitched and he let out a growl of a breath. "You annoying little..."

Izaya grinned and skipped closer, leaning in until his face was inches from Shizuo's. Shizuo jerked, startled, and Izaya grinned wider. "Ne, play with me, Shizu-Chan!"

"I'll play with you, alright!" Shizuo snarled, fist flying at the informant.

Izaya jumped back and laughed, turning on his heel and running down the side walk. Tom's distressed yell was forgotten as Shizuo followed after him, yelling at the top of his lungs. People gasped and jumped out of the way, narrowly avoiding the cackling informant and the fuming debt collector behind him.

"Get back here!" Shizuo snarled, turning a sharp corner as he followed the laughing raven.

Izaya snorted to himself, though he didn't miss the fact that Shizuo was considerably faster than the last time they had done this.

_Ghoul speed, ne?_ He wondered as he ducked into an ally.

It was an instant dead end and he frowned, turning to run out, and a startled gasp tore from his lips when he found himself plowing right into Shizuo. He blinked and stepped back, pressing against the wall as he frowned. Yeah, Shizuo was a _lot_ faster.

"Fucking asshole," Shizuo snarled, snatching Izaya by the front of the shirt.

Izaya scoffed and smirked again. "You're angry just because I came to check on you? How rude, what would I ever do if you died, hm?"

"Like you give a fuck," Shizuo hissed, gritting his teeth.

"How mean," Izaya purred. "How else would I spend my time if you weren't around?"

"You'd probably find some other poor bastard to torment," Shizuo snorted.

Izaya scoffed. "But Shizu-Chan, what we have is special!"

"Shut the fuck up," Shizuo hissed, squinting when Izaya's hands settled on his arms. The Flea may have been squeezing in a weak attempt at getting Shizuo to let go, but the blond didn't seem to care. He was angry, and Izaya's scent was washing over him in an unexpected wave.

It was strong, a sort of spicy and tempting scent. It made Shizuo's mind go blank for a second and Izaya cocked his head to the side as Shizuo's grip loosened on his shirt. He saw Shizuo's look shift, the anger fading and being replaced with something that looked...hungry. "Shizu-Chan~"

Shizuo jerked, as if he had been electrified, and he let go of Izaya as he stumbled back. He blinked and shook his head, looking down as he grit his teeth. "Get out of here, damn it."

Izaya frowned a little, scoffing. "Done playing so soon?"

"Just...go," Shizuo hissed as he turned his back to the other. He took a shuddering breath, eyes widening as he felt that hunger was over him.

**_"If he smelled good, then eat..."_ **

Izaya scoffed and reached into his pocket, bringing out his knife. He smiled and cocked his head to the side again. "Don't be rude; we were doing something!" He hissed as he lunged at the other.

Shizuo stiffened and whirled around, grabbing Izaya's wrist before the blade could get anywhere near him. Izaya blinked at him and Shizuo grit his teeth, yanking Izaya closer until their faces were only inches away. " _Go_ , you fucking _idiot_!"

Izaya's eyes widened slightly as he was pushed back, nearly stumbling. He made a sound of irritation as Shizuo hurried away and once the blond was out of sight, Izaya sighed. "How boring...and here I thought that he'd be more fun now that he's a ghoul."

"Your toy doesn't seem to be working the way you wanted it to, hm?"

Izaya watched as Uta stepped into the ally, arms crossed an eyebrow arched curiously. Izaya scoffed and shrugged, pocketing his knife again. "Are you stalking me, Uta-San?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Uta smiled a bit. "I was going to find Heiwajima-San, but finding you works in my favor too."

"Oh?" Izaya hummed, cocking his head to the side.

Uta nodded and sighed a bit, sounding tired. "You called in the restaurant that was taking care of the ghouls, hm?"

A small smirk pulled at Izaya's lips as he chuckled. "Is that what this is about?"

"Not really," Uta shrugged. "It's a little cruel."

"It's how you keep the game going," Izaya replied casually. "Where's the fun in watching them struggle if they're given short cuts?"

"That's cruel." Uta repeated, but he smiled. "Heiwajima-San is already on such an unsteady bridge already. Not sure about that kid, though."

"I've been keeping my eyes on them both," Izaya assured. "Honestly, though, Mikado has surprised me. I expected...more. Not sure what I expected but not this level headed thing he's got..."

"Give it time, I'm sure." Uta murmured with a small shrug. "He seems like the type to...you know."

"He is." Izaya assured as he started walking past Uta. "He can only take so much until he snaps...after all, how does he think he can hide this from his best friend?"

Uta eyed Izaya as he walked past him and then he smirked a little. "I wonder how long it'll take for this entire game to blow up in your face?"

Izaya paused and looked back at Uta over his shoulder. "Should I consider you a threat to the game now?"

"No," Uta assured him as he turned to fully face him again. "I think you should just stay on your toes and not get so full of yourself before anything even happens."

Izaya shrugged and smiled again as he continued walking. "Don't concern yourself with my affairs unless you plan to get drug into them as well."

"Haven't I already been drug into them?" Uta snorted, but he let Izaya walk away before he, too, left the ally.

* * *

"I'm sorry I can't walk with you guys today," Anri gushed as she bit her lip, bowing her head slightly. "I have to stay and help a few other girls clean today."

"It's no problem," Mikado assured her, waving it off a bit. "Just be safe walking home, okay?"

"Of course," Anri smiled softly. "You too."

Mikado and Masaomi gave her one last goodbye before they walked out the school doors. Masaomi sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets before he scoffed to himself. Mikado blinked and glanced at him. "What?"

"You and Anri," Masaomi smiled a bit at him. "You two ever going to get that ship sailing?"

Mikado smiled a bit and looked ahead as they kept walking. "...Saki not walking with us today?"

"She's running errands," Masaomi replied. "And don't change the subject. Come on, when are you and here going to-"

"We aren't." Mikado cut him off, voice firm but soft. When the blond threw him a perplexed look, he continued. "It's...different. After everything that happened with all of us...after I got to thinking I just...I don't think I feel that way about her anymore."

_**"But she's cute..."** _

Masaomi made a face, a sour kind of face. "Man, really? I was hoping you two would hook up and we could all double date. What, did someone else catch your attention?"

Mikado hesitated, his stomach doing some sort of unsteady churn.

**_"...Did he catch your attention?"_ **

Mikado mentally sighed. _That's complicated...now stop talking. Please._

"Maybe," Mikado finally sighed, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair. He gave Masaomi a sheepish smile. "It's sort of complicated and I don't really understand it right now, so can we maybe not talk about it?"

Masaomi looked like he wanted to ask more at first, but he relented with a sigh. "Whenever you're ready, man. No worries."

"Thanks," Mikado smiled again as they turned a corner. Mikado let out a rather girlish squeak when he plowed into something solid and he nearly fell over, had it not been for Masaomi's grabbing him by the arm. Mikado blinked and looked at what he had ran into, jerking in slight surprise. "Shi...Er, Heiwajima-San..."

Shizuo looked just as surprised, though he schooled his expression quickly. He sighed and brought a hand up, running it through his hair. "Sorry, Mikado..."

"N-no! I uh, wasn't looking," Mikado murmured, smiling slightly before he bit his lip. "Are you...working?"

Shiuzo shook his head. "Nah, asked to leave early. ...Sorta glad I ran into you, actually...I was thinking about something."

Mikado tilted his head a little, biting the inside of his cheek and praying Shizuo wouldn't say anything ghoul related here in front of Masaomi. That was the last thing Mikado wanted or needed.

"I'm sorry."

Mikado frowned for a second, unsure if he had heard that correctly. From the way Shizuo was looking at him, gaze low and looking uncharacteristically cautious, Mikado was sure that he had, indeed, heard correctly. He hesitated and cleared his throat. "For?"

"For this morning," Shizuo clarified, sighing. "For snapping at you, I mean. I...shouldn't have."

"Oh..." Despite the strangeness of the whole situation, Mikado couldn't help but smile a bit. He wasn't tense around Shizuo, like he knew he should be, and hearing the other's apology actually made him feel...nice. "It's...alright, Heiwajima-San."

Shizuo glanced up and then sighed, the regular irritation leaking into his voice. "It's...just Shizuo, okay?"

"Right," Mikado breathed, smiling a bit wider.

Shizuo almost smiled, but instead he walked past the two, ruffling Mikado's hair a little roughly. "Get home before the creeps start walking around."

"I could say the same to you," Mikado scoffed lightly. Shizuo gave him a small wave over his shoulder before he walked off. Mikado smiled again and looked at Masaomi, flinching at the way the other was squinting at him. "Wh-what?!"

"Since when are _you_ on a first name basis with _Shizuo_?" Masaomi scoffed, arching an eyebrow curiously. "Come to think of it...Anri mentioned that you were at Shizuo's house over night."

"S-so?" Mikado murmured, trying his best not to look panicked.

Masaomi stepped closer, poking Mikado in the chest lightly. "Are you and Shizuo...?"

"Are we...?" He paused for a moment before he realized what Masaomi was asking and he screeched, stepping back. "Why on earth would you think _that_?!"

"It's the only explanation!" Masaomi hissed, eyes wide. He tapped his chin in thought before he nodded. "Yep. That's it, isn't it? You and Shizuo are together."

"No, we aren't," Mikado sighed, shaking his head. He smiled a bit at Masaomi and shrugged. "We both ran into some trouble with some weirdo who tried to mug me last night...not even together, really; he was on his way home and saw. I got knocked down and then Shizuo beat the guy up, but I passed out after that so he took me to his place. That's really all it is, Masaomi."

Masaomi didn't look convinced at first, frowning deeply. Mikado just kept smiling at him, praying that the other would get believe him.

"...That sounds like something that would happen to you." Masaomi finally sighed, shaking his head as he crossed his arms. "You poor, accident prone boy. But you're on Shizuo's good side so that might actually come in handy in the future, you know?"

"What, like asking him for favors in the future?" Mikado scoffed as they finally started walking again. "No way."

"I'm just saying to keep it in mind," Masaomi chuckled.

They walked in content silence for a while, Masaomi slipping in a lame joke every now and again. It was a warm feeling, really, and Mikado almost felt normal again. Everything seemed normal; the traffic, the people, the lame jokes followed by Masaomi's loud laughter... Everything felt right, and Mikado wondered how long he could let himself enjoy this.

"Boys!"

Saki's voice cut into Mikado's thoughts and he looked right, watching as Saki ran across the street to meet them. Surprisingly, she hugged Mikado first. Mikado blinked in surprise and blushed, before he awkwardly tried to return the hug. "H-hey, Saki..."

Saki smiled at him before she pulled away and latched onto Masaomi. "I'm glad I found you guys in time to walk home with you guys."

Masaomi made a face. "But it's only another two blocks before we part...you could have waited for me at home."

"I wouldn't have gotten to see Mikado, though," Saki pointed out with a small nod.

Masaomi blinked and smiled a bit, though he looked a little perplexed. "I guess that's true. Did you have an okay day?"

"Yeah, actually." The girl replied. "I figured the town would be all worried and hectic after that restaurant thing."

"What restaurant thing?" Masaomi asked her, looking at her for a second.

"Right, you were already walking to school when I had turned on the news," Saki murmured. "i'm surprised you didn't hear about it at school...there was a restaurant that was actually a ghoul safe hours type thing...the CCG had it surrounded for half the night. They said the ghouls inside all lit themselves on fire along the the building..."

At this, Saki shot Mikado a look. Mikado met her gaze and then looked away quickly, biting his lip. "...That sounds...horrific."

"It's what ghouls deserve," Masaomi muttered.

Mikado flinched and tensed up, eyes widening as he stared at the cement. Masaomi continued, and each word made Mikado's heart feel ready to burst out of his chest.

"I mean, they've been killing people all over the place," The blond frowned, looking disgusted. "Kids and teens and everything...they're monsters. Can you imagine taking the ones you love inside of the same place as those...things? They'd kill you in a heart beat-"

"That's not true," Saki cut in, glaring a little. "If they went to a sage house, then there's a high chance that they aren't the ones killing those people. They said that safe house was providing food-"

"Where do you think they got that food?" Masaomi glared right back at her. "It's not like it just appeared. They were killing people and selling it. It;s disgusting."

Mikado's stomach churned and he let out a shuddering breath.

_**"Breathe or you'll lose control."** _

Mikado bit down on the inside of his cheek and forced himself to listen to the conversation again.

" _Kida_ ," Saki stressed, frown deepening. "They're just trying to live, the same as we are."

"Then maybe ghouls shouldn't live," Masaomi stated firmly.

Mikado stopped walking, feeling his shoulders trembling. Saki looked back at him and made a soft noise, letting go of Masaomi as she took a step closer to Mikado. "Mikado-"

"I...have to go." Mikado said, turning on his heel and running.

"Wait, Mikado!" Masaomi took a step and blinked, confused. "What the hell...?"

Saki took a breath to calm herself before she looked at Masaomi. "...Let's go home."

* * *

Mikado ran, and he wasn't sure how far or how long he ran. His legs weren't aching, but his chest was tight and his eyes stung with tears. He weaved through the crowded sidewalk, frantic and looking for...well, he wasn't sure what he was looking for. Every nerve in his body was in shock, his mind spinning, until he stumbled into someone else and took a few steps back.

The first thing he noticed was white hair, which looked close to familiar. The other person blinked at him, grey eyes widening. "...You."

"M-me?" Mikado breathed, confused.

This stranger, this young man who was only a few years older than him, probably, rushed at him and grabbed him by the front of his shirt and tugged him behind a building. Mikado was slammed against the wall, gasping more in surprise than pain, and winced. "Wh-what's going on?"

"You're one of the half ghouls from last night," The other hissed, one eye turning black and red.

Mikado remembered, then, their white haired attacker from the night before. His eyes widened and his body jerked, feeling that familiar panic and fighting urge welling up inside of him. His eye must have changed, because now this other ghoul was looking at him differently. A few long, silent seconds passed before the white haired young man spoke. "Were you or that other one the ones who reported that place that was burned down?"

Mikado shook his head "N-no...we were both confused about that...that whole thing...I swear."

The other looked unsatisfied, though he nodded and dropped Mikado to his feet. Mikado stumbled and winced, blinking when he caught site of that blue..appendage swishing behind himself. _Kagune...it's called Kagune..._

He frowned and looked towards the stranger and spoke slowly. "Why did you attack us last night?"

"...I was mistaken." He murmured. "...You're a half ghoul."

"We established that last night," Mikado nodded, feeling his...kagune wrap around his leg tightly.

"There aren't many of those," The other told him. "Not aside from myself and a few others I've met...some were born half. Were you?"

"No," Mikado answered instantly, shaking his head. "A-and...neither was my friend last night. This...we weren't like this last week."

The stranger's eyes widened before they narrowed. "...I see. What were you running from just now? CCG?"

"What?" Mikado blinked before Masaomi's previous comments floated through his mind again. He frowned and looked down, fists clenching at his side. "No...not CCG. Just a friend."

"You were running from a friend? The one from last night?"

"No, another."

"Why?"

"...It's complicated." Mikado sighed, shrugging finally. "...Like everything else right now, it's complicated."

The white haired ghoul stared at him for a few seconds. "...This friend doesn't...know about you?"

Mikado shook his head slowly. "No...and he hates ghouls and...and why am I even telling you this?" He hissed, that earlier anger and fear seeping into his voice. His kagune uncoiled from his leg and swished in irritation. "You tried to kill me last night and now you're sitting here making conversation with me in some shitty ally! I don't know who you are so why am I telling you anything?!"

The stranger blinked, maybe in surprise. Mikado couldn't tell. He nodded, then, and sighed. "...My name is Kaneki Ken. Please, don't get too worked up; the smell of an irritated female ghoul can attract others. You reek like a female, remember?"

Mikado looked away and took a deep breath, nodding. "..I'm Mikado."

"Mikado," Kaneki murmured, trying to memorize it. "I'm sorry for the messy introduction...There's a lot I'm cautious of, so I can't trust anyone else off the bat. But...I do want to apologize. Somehow. And ask you questions and try to help you figure out what happened to you. If you're willing."

"...I'd take help from anyone, honestly." Mikado admitted softly. He looked back at Kaneki only to have Kaneki hold out his hand to him. Mikado blinked and arched an eyebrow. "...Uhm."

"Let me see your phone." Kaneki clarified, sounding slightly annoyed.

Mikado pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to the other. He watched as Kaneki pressed a few buttons, and when it was returned, he saw a new contact added.

"If you're interested...and feeling well enough, I can try to meet you somewhere." Kaneki told him. "If you're willing to figure this out, I mean."

"Y...yeah, I'll...think about it." Mikado put his phone away, wearily watching as Kaneki started to walk away. "...You're not just going to kill me later...are you?"

Kaneki's steps didn't falter. "Not unless you give me a reason to."

* * *

Worn out wasn't even the best way to describe it. Exhausted sounded close. Not better, but close. Shizuo collapsed on his couch and sighed heavily, staring at nothing for what felt like an eternity. His phone ringing startled him and he grabbed his, sighing. "Hello?"

"Are you feeling better?" Kasuka sounded as blank faced as always; it made Shizuo smile.

"Totally," He murmured. "Even went to work."

"That's good," Kasuka replied evenly. "I was starting to worry."

"You don't need to worry about me," Shizuo muttered, but he couldn't fight the smile that stayed on his lips. "I'm good, you know that."

"I still worry." Kasuka told him. In his own way, he was worried; there was a slight edge to his voice, something Shizuo only recognized after years of living with him.

Shizuo sighed softly. "...I'm okay, Kasuka. Things are just weird in town, you know?"

"I'm not surprised," He murmured. "I have to go rehearse some scenes. I'll call you in a couple days."

They hung up and Shizuo tossed his phone aside, chewing his lower lip. He pushed himself into a proper sitting position and stared at his hand, frowning. He wondered if Kasuka would understand his situation, but he knew that Kasuka would never understand if Shizuo himself didn't.

Understanding meant controlling.

"Alright, how do I control this?" He felt stupid talking to the emptiness of his home, but it wasn't his home he was directing his words at. There was no response from that voice, not this time, and Shizuo let out a growl of annoyance. "Now you choose to shut up? Nice."

He stared at his hand, trying to think back to the night before. so much had happened, and it seemed that being in danger, or any sort of emotion distress, was what triggered these...abilities. He frowned again and ran his hand through his hair. That voice had spoken then, too, even if it had been panicked and rushed. Something...something had set that voice off.

Shizuo stood up and started pacing his small living room, frown deepening. Everything was rushed when he thought about it; the strange ghoul, the fighting...

Even Mikado's...abilities? What were they called?

"Kagune," Shizuo murmured to himself. That's what the news had said in the past, at least. He blinked and stopped pacing. Yeah, Mikado's kagune had been what set that voice off. The voice had screamed a name. "...Hikari?"

_**"Shut up."** _

Shizuo whirled around, fists clenched and ready to swing, but there was no one behind him. He sighed and turned back around, gasping and stumbling back when he met tired, green eyes. Shizuo frowned and looked around before he looked at the boy before him. The kid couldn't have been any older than twenty, at the most. His hair was red and hung in front of his eyes just a little, and he stared at Shizuo with a look of...boredom.

_**"How much longer are you going to pace?"** _

"Who...who the fuck are you?" Shizuo hissed out. He blinked and then cocked his head to the side. "...You're...the voice?"

The boy frowned and looked away. _**"...Her kagune was different..."**_

"Who's?" Shizuo probed, stepping closer. "...Is...is it Hikari? Who is she? Was she there last night?"

The boy made a face, as if he was pained. _**"...It was blue...it's supposed to be red..."**_

"Blue..." Shizuo almost let himself get angry, but he then he remembered the color of Mikado's kagune. Blue. "...Is...is Hikari the owner of Mikado's kagune?"

The boy didn't reply. He looked down and away from Shizuo entirely, staring at the ground. Shizuo sighed and took a breath to calm himself. "...What's your name?"

_**"Kei."** _

And just like that, the boy had vanished from his sight. Shizuo stiffened and looked around, taking a few steps before he slowly sat down on the couch. He shook his head, letting out a breath that was shakier than he'd hoped for. He glanced back at his hand before he growled in frustration. "Fuck my life..."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, lots of family and health issues seemed to have gotten in the way of me writing this. I'm very sorry!

Masaomi's laughter was warm, making Mikado's small smile split into a grin. The blond's arm was around his shoulder, pulling him close as they sat on the floor of Mikado's apartment.

"Man, Mikado," Masaomi laughed, smiling at him. "We've got to hang out more. Let's do like, a movie night once a week or something."

Mikado would be crazy to refuse. "Sure, whatever you want." He promised him. "But you're not allowed to pick the movies; you have terrible taste."

Masaomi blinked and scoffed, pouting as he leaned away from him. "That's so rude! I have the best taste in everything!"

Mikado hummed, but that phrase lingered in his mind, echoing over and over as he watched Masaomi get up and walk to the DVD player. Mikado tilted his head, watching the subtle movement of the other's shoulders underneath of his shirt. Masaomi bent down to grab another movie, his shirt pulling up just enough to reveal the skin of his lower back. Mikado's mouth went dry, hands clenching into fists as he stood up. He made his way to his best friend slowly, a soft hum passing his lips.

Masaomi put in the next movie and turned around, jerking in surprise when he found himself inches away from the other. He let out a soft sigh, smiling a bit. "Dude, warn me next time you sneak up on me."

Mikado smiled a bit, cocking his head to the side as he brought a hand up to idly toy with the collar of the other's shirt. "Sorry. Just...you know, what you said...I think I agree after all."

"What?" Masaomi blinked in confusion before he snorted softly. "What, that I have good taste?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you do," Mikado dropped his hand as the sound of the movie starting sounded from the TV. He smirked at his friend slowly, shrugging. "I'm sure you have...an amazing taste."

Masaomi opened his mouth, ready to ask why the other was being so odd, and his voice caught in his throat as he watched the blue tail uncoil behind Mikado. A gasp tore from his throat as the tail wrapped around his waist, squeezing until he winced, and Mikado's blue eyes turned into an ugly black.

"I wonder just how amazing your taste is!" Mikado smirked, his kagune flinging Masaomi across the living room.

Masaomi hit the wall and gasped in pain, stumbling to his feet. He tried to scream, but his words died in his throat. He stared at his best friend, eyes wide as Mikado walked closer. Masaomi pushed away from the wall, darting into the small hall way and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind himself. He was cursing, his words spilling from his lips so fast that they didn't sound like words at all. He looked around, heart pounding against his rib cage, and flew towards the window when his eyes fell on it. He tugged at it, trying to pull it open, and a terrified scream tore past his lips when something heavy slammed against the bathroom door.

"Masaomi, come back!" Mikado's voice was muffled behind the door, and it was followed by a laugh that sounded nothing like the boy Masaomi had grown up with.

The window didn't budge and Masaomi could feel his eyes welling with tears, and he stumbled back against the wall, gasping for air. "M-Mikado, please..."

Mikado slammed against the door again and it flew open, revealing the terrified blond that sat on the floor now, eyes wide and body trembling. The room was filled with Masaomi's scent, something earthy and _terrified_. Mikado's mouth watered as he came closer, head tilted to the side. "Ne, Masaomi, you shouldn't run away from me."

"Get away!" Masaomi lashed out with his foot and Mikado caught him by the ankle, smirking. Masaomi stiffened and let out a choked sort of sob, trying in vain to pull his leg free. "Get off! Mikado, stop!"

"I'm really hungry, Masaomi," Mikado murmured, lips brushing against the skin of the other's ankle. He took a deep breath and smirked wider, eyes going wide as he yanked Masaomi closer, pinning him to the ground under him. Masaomi was screaming now, the sound so loud that it as making the window rattle. He thrashed, but Mikado held firm, nose skimming along the skin of Masaomi's neck until their lips were only inches apart.

Wide eyed, tears streaming down his cheeks as his heart hammered inside his rib cage, Masaomi could only stare back into the other's blackened eyes. "M-Mikado, c-come on...i-it's me..."

"It's always you," Mikado murmured, nails digging into the other's arms until they drew blood. The scent made Mikado shudder, kagune flicking anxiously behind him. He smiled a little, humming. "Let me eat you, Masaomi."

The scream that tore from Masaomi's throat was loud and shrill. "Mikado!"

_**"Mikado."** _

Mikado snarled, blood splattering on the bathroom wall as the flesh tore underneath his teeth and fingers.

_**"Mikado..."** _

Masaomi had stopped screaming, the tears fresh on his cheeks as his head lulled to the side, lifeless, and he went entirely limp in Mikado's hold.

_**"Mikado!"** _

Mikado shot up, a gasp tearing from his throat. His heart was hammering in his chest, kagune wrapped so tightly around his leg that it almost hurt. He looked around his living room, frantic, and a shuddering breath passed his lips. "...A dream..."

He grit his teeth and pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as he felt tears sting his eyes. "A dream...it...was just a dream..."

**_"A dream that could become real."_ **

Mikado stiffened, slowly lifting his head to stare at the red haired girl that lingered across the living room. He frowned and ran a hand through his sweat matted hair, pushing himself to his feet. "It won't happen..."

_**"You want to eat him."** _

"I don't,"Mikado whispered, gritting his teeth. He made quick work of grabbing clean clothes and a mostly clean towel, rushing into the bathroom and locking the door behind himself. He turned on the shower and stripped out of his clothes, pausing to untangle his kagune from his sweats. He made a face at the feel of it, gasping when it tugged itself out of his grasp. He made a face and hesitated, clenching his fists before he stepped into the shower.

Masaomi's face flashed through his mind, eyes wide and tears streaming down his cheeks. Mikado grit his teeth and closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. He opened them again slowly and sighed, letting the hot water cascade over him as he frowned at the shower floor. His heart was still hammering in his chest, the terror of seeing Masaomi like that...

No, the terror of _enjoying_ Masaomi looking like that...

He'd enjoyed it, for a split second before he woke up, he had enjoyed seeing his friend horrified, _terrified_. He had enjoyed chasing him, enjoyed listening to the way Masaomi screamed and he had enjoyed the smell of his blood, the sound of his flesh tearing.

The realization had him dropping to his knees, puking underneath the spray of the shower.

Those kind of thoughts terrified him. How did Shizuo do it, Mikado wondered? It had been nearly a week since the safe house had been burned, nearly a week since his and Shizuo's awkward time together. Did Shizuo have these thoughts about his boss? About his friends? He wondered if Shizuo was driven crazy by his friend's scent every time he saw them.

Mikado fell back, head hitting the shower wall harder than he expected as he stared up at the shower spray. A growling sound escaped his stomach and he grimaced, clenching his fists as he made a face. His heart was still hammering away, and Mikado suddenly felt trapped, as if his skin was tightening and squeezing the life out of him.

_**"It won't happen if you learn control."** _

Mikado gulped, slowly pulling himself up to his feet. He shook his head, murmuring a soft, "I can't."

_**"Or won't?"** _

"I _can't_." Mikado hissed as he closed his eyes tightly, afraid that he'd start to cry. "...His scent is...it's..."

_**"As long as you feed often enough you won't be tempted. Learn to ignore the scent."** _

"I'm trying." He whispered, shaking his head again. "All week...all week his scent...it's all over..."

There was a silence, and for a while Mikado was sure that the voice had gone. But then he jerked, the feeling of arms wrapping themselves around him from behind making his eyes widen. The voice came again, closer to his ear and softer, kinder than before. **_"Learn to evolve, and you'll learn to control."_**

A startled laugh escaped his lips. He brought a hand up, trying to touch the arms that were wrapped around him, eyes still shut tightly. His fingers met nothing; no flesh, no hands or arms. The feeling stayed, though, and more laughter escaped him as he started to shake his head again. "I-I'm so confused..."

_**"Kaneki."** _

The sound of that strange ghoul's name startled Mikado and he whirled around, but there was no one behind him. A shaky exhale passed his lips and he finally turned off the shower, stumbling around as he got dressed before he looked for his phone. He snatched it from the floor as he grabbed his school bag, dialing the number that had been saved.

It rang twice before a low voice answered. "Hello?"

"A-ah...Kaneki-San," Mikado murmured, pausing to put his shoes on by the door. "It's...me. Mikado."

"I didn't think you'd call," Kaneki replied evenly. "Did you want to talk?"

"Not at this...moment, no," Mikado stopped and frowned at the floor. "When I'm out of school today though...can we? I...have questions and you're the only one I know who might have any answers."

"I'll meet you after school," The other replied. "Raira, right?"

"That's right," Mikado nodded to himself.

"See you after school, then." Kaneki hung up, then, and Mikado blinked in surprise before he stuffed his phone in his pocket and left his apartment.

He was a little earlier than normal and walked slowly, his thoughts racing as the mingling scents of everyone who passed by him hit his nose. He frowned and grit his teeth, mentally counting to ten as he walked a little faster. He stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change, and the roar of a familiar motorcycle made his head snap up. Celty rode by in a blur, Mikado's lips twitching into a small smile as a sense of relief washed over him momentarily.

His mind drifted to his abrupt conversation with Kaneki as he crossed the street. He didn't know Kaneki at all and was scared of him. Meeting up with him after school, alone...well, that was enough to make his heart skip a beat. The thought of asking Shizuo to go with him popped into his mind, but he wasn't sure how Shizuo, or Kaneki for that matter, would react to that. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight with some ghoul he barely knew.

"Oi, Mikado."

Mikado stopped mid-step and looked over his shoulder, blinking at the blond that was walking up to him. A smile pulled at his lips. "Oh, good morning, Shizuo."

He hadn't seen much of Shizuo since last week, only quick glances while walking and Shizuo was usually always busy during that time. Mikado was a little surprised at how relieved he felt to see the other.

"Morning," Shizuo nodded a bit as he fell into step with the boy, hands shoved in his pockets. "How have you been holding up?"

"I've been alright," The words tasted like a lie and Mikado hesitated. "What about you?"

"Fine, I guess," He mumbled. "...Would probably be better if I wasn't so angry at people at work. But, it's not too bad unless that Flea shows up."

"Izaya?" Mikado murmured, glancing up to see the other man make a face.

Shizuo nodded, a short and curt movement. "Damn flea keeps showing up trying to start fights with me."

"You always say you want to kill him," Mikado murmured hesitantly.

Shizuo fell silent and frowned, glancing at Mikado. "Not like this."

Mikado didn't ask for clarification, didn't need to. Killing someone to satiate the ghoul inside...it sounded horrific and...wrong. He nodded, more to himself than anything else, and glanced at Shizuo again. "...Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Go for it," The other nodded, looking back at him.

Mikado hesitated, forcing back a shudder as his dream resurfaced in his mind again. "...Is it hard to...control yourself when you're at work? Around people and such..."

Shizuo frowned a little and shrugged a little, sighing. "...Sorta. I mean ah...I guess when I'm not thinking about it or whatever then it hits me, and if I get really angry, then yeah. Why, are you having issues?"

"Well not...entirely." Mikado replied, biting the inside of his cheek as he brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "...I just notice scents and I guess it bothers me. I have friends and it's just-"

"I get you," Shizuo cut in, nodding. He took a breath and shrugged a little bit again. "I don't exactly have any advice on that but...I mean you'll be okay, I'm sure. You seem a whole lot more put together with this than I am, at least."

Mikado felt a small smile tug at his lips as they crossed a street together. The city life was bustling around them and Mikado pressed a little closer to the taller man, taking note of the slight warm wave that ran down his spine. A comforting sort of feeling. "I think you're doing well enough."

Shizuo snorted and chuckled a little bit, shaking his head. "Thanks, I guess."

The two shared a smile, small but comforting. The comfort was short lived, though, as a familiar scent hit Shizuo hard enough to make him stop mid-step. He grit his teeth and made what Mikado would only describe as a growl. "Son of a bitch..."

Mikado blinked and stiffened. "Shizuo-"

"You!" Shizuo whirled around, eyes narrowing at the grinning raven that stood across the street, where they had previously been.

Mikado turned around and blinked, mentally groaning and externally flinching. Izaya waved from across the street and winked at Shizuo, making the blond man hiss out, "Fucker!"

"Sh-Shizuo!" Mikado gasped as the other went to move, his arms wrapping around Shizuo's torso before he had the chance to really think about it.

"Get off!" Shizuo hissed, though he was still stalking towards Izaya, Mikado dragging along behind him.

Mikado held onto Shizuo tighter, shaking his head as he tried to pull at him. People were watching now, and Mikado's face burned from embarrassment. "Shizuo, wait! Don't get worked up!"

"I'm not worked up." Shizuo snapped as they crossed the street. "Let go, damn it!"

"Ne," Izaya's voice halted anything Mikado had planned to say. Mikado groaned and glanced at Izaya, his stomach flipping nervously. Izaya smirked and then laughed. "Shizu-Chan's walking high school kids to school? How kind of you! Cute, really."

"Did you want something?" Shizuo snapped, stopping inches away from the other. Izaya's scent was all over now, mingling with the anxious scent of Mikado. Shizuo frowned and grabbed Mikado's arms, unwrapping them from himself and shoving the teenager behind himself, his frown deepening as he eyed Izaya. "It's none of your business what I'm doing, Flea."

Izaya's eyes narrowed at the way Shizuo stood in front of Mikado and he forced down a smirk. "Oh? Taken an interest in school boys? My my, Shizu-Chan, how perverted..."

Shizuo's eye twitched and he rushed forward, snatching Izaya by the front of the shirt. "I'm not some sick pervert like you!"

Mikado gulped and stepped back, the scent rolling off of Shizuo making him both terrified and excited. Another wave washed over him, but it wasn't the same comforting wave as before. It was an urge to fight, a desire to attack, and he was pretty sure Shizuo's furious scent was the cause. He wanted to step in, but fear gripped his heart tightly, warning him. So he watched, the ghoul inside of him murmuring something he didn't understand as Izaya spoke up.

"If you weren't doing anything perverted then why are you getting so defensive, Shizu-Chan?" Izaya asked, yanking himself out of Shizuo's grasp and jumping back a bit. "Could it be that you're a closet perv?"

Shizuo's eye twitched again.

**_"Don't. People are around..."_ **

"You're a pain in the ass," Shizuo snapped as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"I just love seeing your angry face." Izaya sighed, shrugging. "You're awfully adorable when you're angry."

The anger washed over Shizuo in a wave and he hissed, feeling the way his skin shivered and smelled the way Mikado's scent spiked with something that...felt like fear.

Fear.

Shizuo glanced over his shoulder at Mikado, frowning. "Get lost already."

Mikado blinked in surprise, frowning a little as he glanced at Izaya, then back at Shizuo. "But-"

"You'll be late for school," Shizuo murmured as he looked back at Izaya. "And it'd be a pain in the ass if you got hurt while I kicked this bastard's ass!"

Mikado didn't have the time to argue, eyes widening again as Shizuo took off after Izaya. The informant was quick, spinning on his heel and running away from the seething blond. Mikado stood there, stunned, biting his lip as he watched Shizuo run after Izaya. Worry washed over him, the fear of Shizuo losing control making his heart beat faster in his chest. He started walking after the other, to help and try to keep Shizuo from the public eye, even if it meant stopping him from beating the shit out of Izaya.

"Yo, Mikado!"

Mikado froze, looking over his shoulder. Masaomi was looking at him from across the street, smiling as he waved and cocked his head to the side. "School's this way, man, remember?"

"Masaomi.." Mikado glanced back at the way Shizuo had gone, but Shizuo was out of sight. Mikado sighed and made his way over to Masaomi, smiling slightly as he waved. "Sorry, I thought I saw something."

"Yeah, right," The other snorted as he linked his arm with Mikado's, walking with him. "You were totally trying to skip, don't lie."

"I wasn't," Mikado murmured, eyeing the way their arms linked before he glanced at Masaomi's smiling face. He could remember that face clearly from his dream, could remember how that warm smile had twisted into a horrified sort of grimace. He could still see the blood that was splattered on Masaomi's skin, could feel the way his stomach churned and growled at the same time from the very memory. He tore his gaze away from the other, focusing on the sidewalk as they walked. Masaomi was saying something, but Mikado couldn't catch most of it. He didn't understand a word, nodding when he thought it was appropriate.

"Hey, you listening?"

Mikado blinked and blushed, forcing a small laugh as he looked back at Masaomi. "Ah, no...sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying?"

"I said that Saki suggested we all go hang out after school," Masaomi smiled at him. "It'll be fun."

"Oh...I would but I can't," Mikado murmured. "I have plans already."

"What, really?" Masaomi's smile faltered for a moment and the boy looked confused. He schooled his expression, though, and shrugged. "Well, okay. Next time, then, okay? No excuses!"

"Yeah, sure thing." Mikado nodded and smiled again, looking ahead as they sped up to get to school on time.

* * *

"Hide's looking really good today." Shinra stepped out of the guest room Hide was sleeping in, shoving his hands in his pockets as he smiled at Kaneki. "I'm hoping his wound doesn't reopen at all today. If it keeps from reopening for a couple days straight it'll most likely heal faster."

Kaneki sighed softly and nodded as he followed the other to the living room, sitting down beside him on the couch. "If he didn't jerk around so much or get so excited then the wound wouldn't open so frequently."

"It's not his fault," Shinra smiled to himself as he leaned back into the couch and stretched, making a loud sound as he did so. He sat up again and shrugged. "He'll be fine either way, it'll just be faster if he could stop moving for a while."

"I could always tie him down," Kaneki joked lightly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "But I'm sure he'd talk you to death at that rate, so nobody really wins in that situation."

"Can't be helped," Shinra shrugged. "Are you going out tonight?"

"In a few hours, actually," The other murmured. "I'm meeting with someone."

"Sounds fun," Shinra mused dryly. "What are you going to be doing?"

Kaneki shrugged, a lazy gesture. "Probably just talking. He sparked my interest and I'm trying to find out more about him."

"Is there something wrong with him?" Shinra asked, cocking his head to the side. "Do you want Celty to look into-"

"No, Celty has her hands busy as it is," Kaneki cut in, shaking his head. "Besides, I don't think it's anything major yet. I want to find out more before jumping to any conclusions. If what I found out is concerning then I'll be sure to let you and Celty know. For now, though, it's alright."

Shinra nodded, sighing a bit. "Alright. Just don't go getting into trouble; we can't protect you and Hide if the CCG catch onto you."

Kaneki nodded slowly. "I know, and I'm thankful for everything you and Celty have done. Without you Hide would..." He hesitated and frowned, looking away from the doctor. "Hide would be dead right now had you not agreed to help us."

"You don't have to keep apologizing," Shinra chuckled, waving it off. "I don't mind, Kaneki. I couldn't just leave the two of you out there with him like that. What kind of person would that make me?"

"A normal one?" Kaneki offered lightly.

Shinra snorted, shaking his head. "Normal isn't a word too suited to my life, so I think I can live with being in the abnormal category again. Especially if it means helping you and Hide out."

"You two are much too kind," Kaneki breathed, shaking his head a little bit. "But...I'm glad. If there's anything I can do for either of you, let me know. I don't like receiving so much without giving any in return."

"You're too kind," Shinra pointed out, though his tone was soft, amused. He stood up and stretched again, his back popping a few times as he did so. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Please," Kaneki nodded, watching as the other left to the kitchen.

Shinra came back a while later and handed Kaneki a mug before he sat down, pulling out his cell phone as it started ringing. "Hello?"

Kaneki sipped his coffee, watching the human curiously, and saw Shinra frown a little.

"He didn't come into work?" He asked. "Well did you text-"

Shinra stiffened before he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Kaneki arched an eyebrow, and Shinra laughed a little into the phone. "Ah, well, no use getting involved in that, from what is sounds like...I'm sure Shizuo will give you a call later. Bye, Tom-San."

Kaneki watched Shinra hang up. "Problems?"

"Not really," Shinra assured as he sighed. "My friend's boss called me cause my friend didn't show up for work. But I heard Shizuo go rushing by and from it sounded like to me-and his boss-he was probably chasing Izaya."

"Izaya?" Kaneki asked. "Another friend?"

Shinra paused and thought about it, chuckling. "Sort of. He's complicated. Although he and Shizuo don't get along at all; they hate each other, actually, but Izaya likes to start problems to get Shizuo all riled up. It's kind of a shame, really," He sighed, finally raking a sip of his own coffee. "I think they would have gotten along perfectly if they'd met earlier than when they did. Shizuo's too impulsive now, though. He'll probably be chasing Izaya across town for at least a few hours."

Kaneki smiled slightly, sipping his drink. "You know a lot of interesting people, huh?"

Shinra blinked in surprise and shrugged a little bit, scoffing. "I guess you could say that. I guess it's all so normal and routine for me that I don't really realize how strange or intense it might be to others. I'm glad you're okay with it though, because it would have been awfully difficult to treat Hide if you had a problem with Celty being around."

"Celty is intimidating," Kaneki amended. "But I trust her and...well, Hide adores her. I don't see her trying to harm us anytime soon, and she was very clear in saying that as long as we don't hurt you, she won't hurt us."

Shinra blushed, giggling as he waved the comment off. "She's so good to me, I swear!"

Kaneki smiled again and took a long drink of his coffee. "I'm glad."

Shinra smiled again and then spoke up. "So you two don't have any other friends here in Ikkebukuro?"

Kaneki shook his head slowly, his small smile fading away as his lips pressed together in a firm line. "No. Everyone we knew is back in the twentieth ward, some in different ones. After everything that happened...it's no good running into old faces again. They're all better off with me here. So it's alright."

"Is it really?" Shinra asked softly, biting his lip in thought. "People like you always puzzled me. I guess it's probably because I wouldn't do something so drastic for anyone. Even Celty I wouldn't leave behind for anything."

"Even if you being with her was dangerous to her life?" Kaneki probed curiously.

Shinra shook his head and smiled. "Nope. I'd face the danger with her, of course. But that's just because it's me...and I don't think I can really picture my life without Celty in it at this point. She's been a constant for me, like Hide has for you."

Kaneki felt himself smile again and he nodded, letting out a soft breath. "I see."

* * *

Heart pounding in his chest, Izaya rounded a corner and laughed loudly, looking over his shoulder as Shizuo rushed after him. Citizens parted and left room on the side walk for him, and others jumped off the side walk entirely for Shizuo. A part of Izaya was a little thrown off, exhausted faster than usual; Shizuo was faster now, even faster than the last time they had run into each other. He wasn't scared, though. In fact, it made him laugh again, whirling around another corner into an alley. Perhaps he was a little more masochistic these days.

Izaya rounded another corner and laughed as he skidded to a stop, pressing himself back against a wall as he watched Shizuo run into view. Th blond was hardly breaking a sweat, Izaya noted idly, and he stalked towards Izaya with a glare hot enough to melt steel.

It made Izaya shudder in excitement.

Shizuo snatched Izaya by the front of the shirt and grit his teeth at him. His shoulders were shaking from the effort to keep still, to not let loose that side of him that he didn't know how to control right now. Control had never been a very strong trait of his, but right now it felt as if control was the only thing he could do, for once.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Shizuo growled out, meeting Izaya's gaze.

The informant was smirking, eyes narrowing as he let himself be shoved harder into the wall behind him, the bricks digging into his spine and shoulders. "Ne, doesn't being alone get lonely, Shizu-Chan? I figured you'd appreciate a friendly face."

"Yeah, well I don't see any damn friendly faces here," Shizuo spat out.

There was a scent rolling off of Izaya like a wave, a mixture of adrenaline and something else Shizuo couldn't quite place. It made his head pound, had his stomach churning. He grit his teeth again, his entire body shaking, now. Izaya laughed, the sound making Shizuo flinch only slightly.

_**"You're going to lose control."** _

Shizuo jerked his head around, peering over his shoulder. That same red haired boy from his apartment was there, bored looking and with his eyes trained on Shizuo. He began to walk closer and with each step he took Shizuo felt himself stiffen, felt his heart beat faster in his chest. The red haired young man came to stand beside Izaya, pressed against the wall, and spoke up. **_"You're too angry, and when you're angry you'll lose control. You'll kill him."_**

"Cat got your tongue, Shizu-Chan?" Izaya hummed, cocking his head to the side as he settled his hands over the other's, waiting.

Shizuo's eyes darted to Izaya's face and he hissed under his breath. "Fuck you."

_**"His scent is making you riled up,"**_ The boy murmured, laying his head on Izaya's shoulder. _**"He smells good, right? Don't you think he'd taste good, too?"**_

Shizuo's arm started shaking, making Izaya arch an eyebrow curiously. Shizuo wasn't looking at him, either, not directly at least. Slowly, Izaya turned his head to the side slightly, only to see nothing there at all. Frowning now, and turning his gaze back to Shizuo, he huffed. "Shizu-Chan, has your small brain finally short circuited?"

Shizuo shook his head violently and yanked Izaya forward, only to slam him up against the wall again, making the informant wince. Shizuo looked back at Izaya, then at the red haired young man, then at Izaya again, desperately trying to figure out why Izaya didn't _see_ anything. His chest tightened and he watched, feeling frozen in place, as the red head brought his hands up to run his finger tips over Izaya's cheeks, neck, and face, and Izaya didn't move an inch, unaffected.

**_"He's soft. His skin would tear apart easily, you know."_ **

"Shizu-Chan," Izaya was annoyed now, and it was evident in his tone. He banged a fist on Shizuo's arm, the one still gripping him by the shirt, and let out an annoyed sigh. "I didn't think you'd just shut down during play time."

_**"His scent changed,"**_ His name was Kei. Yeah, Shizuo remembered it now. Kei spoke again, one hand gripping Izaya's chin as he stared at Shizuo with wide, curious eyes. _**"Don't you want to taste him?"**_

Shizuo's chest was tight and he gasped, feeling the air leave his lungs. His entire body was trembling again, and he was gasping for air so suddenly that it made his blood run cold in his veins. Izaya watched this, watched as Shizuo bowed his head and began to tremble, watched this strong man gasp for air, as if there was none to breath. Izaya frowned again, too stunned to speak as Shizuo let go of him entirely and, instead, stepped back a few feet. "Shizu-Chan..."

**_"No one would know."_ **

"Shizu-Chan, if you don't calm down you'll pass out."

Shizuo couldn't breath. When had his hands come up to grip at his hair?

His eyes stung. They stung from the tears welling inside them, and his body ached with a hunger that shouldn't have been this strong. He could hear, above the sound of his own gasping breath, footsteps coming towards him, and he jerked back again, letting out a pained noise.

Izaya was no longer annoyed, the annoyance being washed away by a vague sense of concern. "Shizu-Chan-"

"Shut up!" Shizuo yelled so suddenly, and so loudly, that Izaya jumped in surprise. Heaving a heavy breath Shizuo looked up, one eye darkened over by black, the veins around it straining. "Both of you just shut up!"

Kei was behind Izaya, motionless like a spirit, and shook his head slowly. _**"Fail."**_

Izaya's own eyes widened and he took a small step back, taking a breath. "Both of us? Shizu-Chan, it's only me here with you. Have you lost your mind, perhaps?"

"Just shut up!" Shizuo yelled again, surging forward and grabbing the informant by the shirt. He slammed him up against the wall again, a growl tearing past his lips.

Izaya hadn't expected to be this surprised, nor had he expected Shizuo to look so confused and so...panicked. Izaya winced when his back collided with the stone wall again, grunting as he stared into the other's mismatched eyes. He was at a loss for what to do and that rose within him a vague sense of alarm. Shizuo was staring at him, but not in an angry way, not in a hungry way, and not even in an irritated way.

Shizuo looked small, suddenly, and afraid.

"Don't make me..."

Izaya blinked, taken back, and cocked his head to the side. "Don't make you _what_?"

Shizuo bowed his head, a movement so sudden and surprising that Izaya jerked in surprise. When he spoke, Shizuo's voice was quiet, shaking, and Izaya only hoped that this brute of a man...this _ghoul_ wasn't crying. "Don't make me kill you..."

Izaya laughed.

Izaya laughed so loud and so sudden that Shizuo jerked back a little, head coming up again so that his wide eyes could focus on the other. Izaya smirked a little, arching a curious eyebrow. "But I thought you wanted to kill me."

"Not like this!" Shizuo yelled, letting go of Izaya entirely as he took a few steps back. His hands came up to his hair, running through it over and over again.

Izaya steadied himself and dusted off his shirt, smirk still in place on his lips. "I can't help but notice...you're very different now, Shizu-Chan. A ghoul? How fitting!" He laughed, spinning around on his heel until he walked to the other and patted the top of Shizuo's head. "I always told you that you were a-"

"Monster," Shizuo hissed, catching Izaya's wrist in his hand and squeezing, just enough for it to be painful, but he knew Izaya wouldn't dare show that it hurt. He looked at the other again, gritting his teeth. "...You're not telling me anything I don't already know."

"Perhaps," Izaya noted, prying his wrist free and shoving his hands into his pockets. "But I wonder...it's one thing to be a brute with that strength of yours, but to find out you've been a ghoul all along?" He couldn't help the laughter that bubbled from his lips. "The CCG would take quite an interest in you."

Shizuo's eyes widened and for a moment, Izaya was sure the other would lunge at him. Shizuo deflated, though, and grit his teeth once more. A hand came up to wipe at one of his eyes, making Izaya's smirk falter slightly, and Shizuo growled out, "Are you going to turn me in, then?"

"Maybe I should," Izaya hummed, tapping his chin in thought. "For the sake of the city, of course~"

"Then do it."

Izaya paused, his amused expression finally crumbling and being replaced by a confused frown. "Come again?"

"I said turn me in if you're going to!" Shizuo yelled, fists clenched tightly at his sides. "It's not like there's any way I could live like this anyways. So turn me in...they'll kill me. I'm fine with that."

"Fine with that..." Izaya echoed, his frown deepening before he scoffed. "Shizu-Chan, you've lost your fun side. You sound like all these boring people around here. As soon as one thing goes wrong, then the logical reaction is to kill yourself! It's so...cowardly."

"Yeah, well in case you haven't realized it," Shizuo mumbled, turning around and shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm a coward. Just do me a favor if you do turn me in; try to keep my boss out of it."

Izaya found himself speechless as he watched the blond hurry out of the alley. He scoffed again and tilted his head to the side, frowning. "...That's no fun at all."

It had been exhilarating at first, the way Shizuo had snarled and growled and moved. Izaya had adored it, but to see it melt away so quickly to be replaced with fear and...despair? Despair, from Shizuo? Heiwajima Shizuo, of all the people? From Mikado, yes, Izaya would expect this. From Shizuo, though...

It irritated him more than anything.

* * *

"You sure you can't cancel whatever plans you have?" Masaomi must have asked him that about a hundred times during the day.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," Mikado smiled softly, shrugging. "I'll make it up to you, though. I promise."

"That's so lame," Masaomi groaned, looking over at his friend with a small pout. "But alright, I guess. Have fun with whatever it is you're doing...Wait! You're not going out with Shizuo, are you?"

Mikado blinked in surprise before he shook his head, scoffing. "What? Why would you think that? I told you there was nothing going on with us!"

"Just have to be sure," The blond nodded firmly as he crossed his arms. "He's a scary guy, man, and I have to look out for you. You're my best friend, after all." The statement was followed by a gentle nudge in Mikado's side, Masaomi smiling softly at him.

Mikado felt something in his chest flutter, but something in his stomach grow cold. He nodded and smiled back at the other. "Yeah. Is Saki meeting you soon?"

"She's meeting me at the karaoke bar we wanted to take you and Anri to," The other replied as they crossed a street. "Sucks that Anri ended up busy, too."

"Can't be helped when she was volunteered for cleaning," Mikado mock sighed.

"Better her than us," Masaomi mumbled, snickering softly. "Don't tell her I said that, by the way."

Mikado chuckled and then paused, frowning at the familiar white hair sticking out through the crowd. Mikado bit his lip, whatever Masaomi was saying fading away as they walked, and finally Kaneki's face became clear through the crowd. Without missing a beat Mikado turned to Masaomi, holding up a hand to cut him off. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now. Tell Saki I said hi and walk safely. I'll see you tomorrow, Masaomi."

A little surprised, maybe slightly offended at being cut off so quickly, Masoami nodded and frowned a bit. "Yeah, alright." He murmured, watching as Mikado hurried off into the crowd. He frowned at the unfamiliar face up ahead, the white haired guy Mikado was briskly walking to, and cocked his head to the side.

It wasn't his business, though, and he reminded himself of that before sighing and walking off to meet with Saki.

Kaneki watched as Masaomi walked away before he met Mikado's gaze, watching the teenager stop before him. "Your friend?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Mikado shifted on his feet awkwardly for a moment before he sighed. "Thanks...thanks for meeting with me..."

"It's no problem," Kaneki replied softly, glancing around before he jerked his chin to the side. "Come on, we can go talk somewhere quiet. I think I passed a library a block or so away."

Mikado paused as Kaneki started walking, a little hesitant to follow a ghoul anywhere, really. Shizuo wasn't here to protect him if something went south...although, he had to remind himself that it was him who had saved Shizuo last time. With nothing more than a sigh Mikado followed Kaneki, trying to keep a reasonable distance to him, while pressing closer all together. Kaneki was silent in an eerie way and didn't bother looking at Mikado even once, something Mikado was entirely okay with. Kaneki's presence, though, made something deep in Mikado's gut twist anxiously.

He blamed it on the ghoul part of him, the part that was ready to fight if they needed to.

The library was quiet, and surprisingly empty, when they walked in. Kaneki led him to the very back and they sat down, Mikado across from Kaneki. There was a strained moment of silence, one that had Mikado chewing his lip nervously, unsure of what to say.

"You dont need to be nervous around me." Kaneki shifted to lean back in his chair, cocking his head to the side slightly as he stared at the other. "I won't do anything to you and as long as we're helping each other, I won't let other ghouls touch you either."

Blinking in surprise, and then letting himself relax a little, the other boy nodded. "Right...I'm sorry, this is just all so new and...frankly kind of terrifying."

"I understand," Kaneki's voice was almost gentle, though Mikado would never say that out loud. "Just relax. I'm here to help you. You have questions, right?"

"I...have a lot of questions, actually," Mikado sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

Kaneki didn't take his eyes off of him for even a second. "I have time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it seems a bit short, next chapter will be longer and will continue from the conversation Mikado and Kaneki were starting!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow sorry guys. Long summer and school's started up again for me.

"Are you friends with...humans?"

Kaneki glanced up when Mikado finally spoke, meeting the boy's nervous gaze. He sighed and nodded. "A few, yes."

Mikado bit his lip, chewing it nervously as he placed his thoughts. "...Isn't it hard?"

"Sometimes," Kaneki mumbled, sitting up a little straighter. "I guess it just depends on the person."

"Well...a best friend," Mikado stated slowly. "...My best friend, the one you saw earlier...he doesn't know about any of this. I don't...I don't really want to tell him; he doesn't have a very nice view of ghouls."

"Most people don't," Kaneki nodded.

"I still want to be his friend, though." Mikado continued, frowning to himself. "It's just...hard. His scent...it's all over me sometimes, and in my house...on my school bag and uniform. It's hard...I'm sorting out my feelings for him as it is, I don't need this...this...feeling hanging over me on top of that."

"You mean the hunger?" Kaneki tilted his head to the side, watching Mikado flinch slightly. He sighed and thought his words over before speaking again. "It's hard sometimes...ghouls like us haven't had our whole lives to learn how to ignore it. Honestly I...I give other ghouls a lot of credit for the way they handle it. It was incredibly hard for me to be around my best friend...but he was more than my best friend; he was my world at one point. This life...being a ghoul...it ruined that for a while. I don't have a very good answer for you, Mikado. I went about my problem differently...harder than I should have. A part of me wants to tell you to just be honest with him, but you just said he doesn't like ghouls.'

Mikado nodded hesitantly. "...It's complicated enough as it is with him...I don't want to lose him."

"You have feelings for him?" Kaneki probed.

Mikado blushed and hesitated, sighing finally. "I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out. This ghoul thing...it's making it really hard. There's too much to focus on and sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. I keep hearing it."

Kaneki frowned slightly. "Hearing what?"

Mikado took a breath and shifted a bit in his seat. "It's going to sound really stupid or...or maybe just strange so, please, just hear me out."

Kaneki nodded slowly. "Of course."

"It's...it's like a voice echoing around my head." Mikado began slowly, gaze drifting down to his hands that were now fisted in his lap. "Sometimes it just sounds like a soft murmur and it's easy to ignore. Other times, though, it's so ungodly loud, as if someone's screaming into my ears. It's this...voice. A girl that can't be too much older than me. At first it just...egged on the hunger. Told me to eat...told me to bite into people. Lately, though, her voice has been calmer. It's like she's guiding me or at least maybe she's taking pity on me and trying to help me. I don't understand it at all..." He paused to take a breath, one that was slightly shakier than he would like. "I've seen her...a few times. This red haired girl who looks at me as if she's known me forever but I've never seen her in my life. No body else has seen or heard her and it feels like I'm losing my mind. I-I don't understand it at all..."

Kaneki stared at him silently for what felt like an eternity, face blank. He took a deep breath and glanced away and Mikado heard the distinct sound of a knuckle cracking from under the table; it made him shudder. Kaneki spoke, finally, in a hushed voice, "After I had a surgery that made me like this, I saw the ghoul who's organs I received as well. It was just like you said; nobody heard or saw her aside from me and it felt like I was going insane. Our situations are a lot more alike than I had thought and I have a feeling that friend of yours may be experiencing the same thing. Do you think you can convince him to meet with me as well?"

Mikado considered it for a moment. "Ah... Shizuo is...a bit of a hard person to get close to at all, even for just this..."

"I see," Kaneki sighed a little and glanced away. "You should keep an eye on him, then. You said the two of you weren't born like this...what happened?"

"I don't really know," Mikado admitted, voice shaky. "I came home from school a while ago and got sick or something...I passed out in my apartment. When I woke up the next morning I was in pain and had this scar, one that looked like it was from some sort of surgery. Shizuo said the same thing...that he passed out after drinking. He can't get drunk, however...not after just one drink, at least. It happened to both of us on the same night."

"Then both of you were targeted for a reason." Kaneki replied, a frown on his lips. "Do the two of you have common enemies?"

"What? No, not at all," Mikado frowned a little bit as he shook his head. "In all honesty I probably only said a handful of words to Shizuo in a whole two years before this problem came up. He's not exactly the...usual type I hang out with. I can understand him having a lot of enemies and I have my own fair share but none of them could pull off something like this. There's no way. I would have known by now if it was anyone I knew of, anyways; I have connections all over the city."

Kaneki only looked vaguely impressed. "There's no one you could possibly think of?"

"No," Mikado murmured, sighing. "...I can ask Shizuo about it but I don't think there's anyone like that..."

Kaneki nodded slowly, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I'll assist you in anyway I can. I should probably leave...but Mikado, I think you should tell that friend of yours about your situation."

Mikado's eyes widened slightly as he watched the ghoul stand up. They nodded a little at each other, Kaneki offering a small, barely there smile, and then he was gone. Mikado wasn't sure how long he sat there, absently staring at the table with his chin propped in his hand. He didn't feel any better, though he didn't exactly feel worse; he felt numb inside, more than anything. The rational part of his mind reminded him to be happy to have a ghoul on his side, but the worried part of his mind wanted nothing more than to hide and never, ever come out.

It was with a heavy sigh that he stood up and gathered his things, leaving.

* * *

Irritation was something Izaya was used to, though he didn't welcome it warmly. It washed over him in waves as he spun around in his computer chair. The events of the day replayed in his head, leaving a sort of bitter taste on his tongue.

His usual run in's with Shizuo had never ended...quite like _that_. Izaya had expected more, now that Shizuo was no longer human, and yet...he'd gotten less?

No...in one way he had gotten more. He'd gotten a lot more. He'd never seen Shizuo cry, nor had he seen him back down from any sort of challenge where Izaya himself was involved. It felt like a cheap win in Izaya's book, like he had broken a toy on purpose only to realize that it didn't satisfy him in the slightest. He had expected...well, a fight. A big fight. He'd expected to see Shizuo blood thirsty and wild, as if he were a wild animal. This, though...

Izaya frowned and brought a hand up to rub his left temple, trying to will away the image of Shizuo, on the verge of tears, that had been branded into his mind. It didn't feel right.

_Heiwajima Shizuo didn't cry._

_Orihara Izaya_ didn't make _Heiwajima Shizuo_ cry.

It was unnatural and if Izaya were honest, it made him feel like he had done something _wrong_.

This was supposed to be a fun game with Shizuo suffering but in a fun way. Not in a way that made Izaya feel like he had kicked a puppy...or worse. Izaya didn't like this...feeling bad about something that he did. He hadn't planned on feeling bad, because why would he? But there was a part of him that knew this whole situation was uncharted territory. He was a puppeteer, pulled strings from behind black curtains so that no one could see for sure it was him. They could suspect him, sure, because maybe sometimes the puppets spoke in a voice so close to his own that it others could tell without much effort that it was him. He preferred it that way, so why did he have to change things up now? He was far from just a puppeteer now; he was there on the stage, walking around with his puppets as if it was a normal every day occurrence.

He'd taken a big step with all of this. He could have just dropped it all, disregarded all the information about what had gone on in the twentieth ward. Ghouls had never been a big deal to him anyways; they weren't human and they were far too predictable. The rumor about the half ghoul, though, had sparked interest in him. Half ghoul and half human, a blood thirsty killer in the skin of a human...it made curiosity well up inside of Izaya. The rumors had been so sparse, though, and hardly anyone was talking about it when the ghouls began to migrate everywhere else. The Dollars forums had a few people who brought it up, though most of it was urban rumors for sure, but he'd dug and dug until he gathered enough information to satiate himself.

A human who had been turned into a ghoul? Now _that_ sounded more interesting than anything else. He'd wondered how it would have effected a human, how it would have turned even the most mundane and boring human into something all together beastly... Perhaps that's why Mikado had become his first choice. It was a small thought, a simple question of how Mikado would react to such a dramatic change. The boy was boring on the surface, but Izaya was well aware of the thirst growing inside of him. The need to have action, to live a life differently from everyone else's.

Wasn't being a ghoul awfully _different_?

Shizuo, of course, had been a surprising addition. Truthfully he had no true reason to throw the brute into this mess. Not at first. He wanted to see Shizuo suffer. He always had, in some form or another. Shizuo was strong in many ways, nearly all of them it seemed, and that irritated Izaya down to his core. It was the similarities between Shizuo and ghouls that had stuck out the most to him. Shizuo was, in most ways, a monster in human skin. He walked with humans, talked with them, ate with them and even laughed with them, but just under the surface of his skin there was a raw power that lingered. There was a chaos inside of Shizuo that Izaya knew could bring destruction and fear...and wouldn't it have been just _delightful_ to watch that power become unbearable while Shizuo turned into something that couldn't hide with humans anymore? Wouldn't it have been great to watch the mighty Shizuo be taken out of this world like the monster he was?

So why was he crying? Why was he crying instead of killing, instead of breaking things? That wasn't the Shizuo that Izaya knew at all.

* * *

Heads turned, eyes lingering on her as she walked down the blindingly white hall. She understood, though; these CCG agents had only ever heard of her from urban rumors. Celty just kept walking, making a left down one hall and coming to a stop at a desk. A woman, young and tired, glanced up and gaped at her. For a moment Celty wondered if she'd scared her, but the woman soon schooled her expression and spoke up, "Are you here to see Arima-San?"

Celty nodded and watched the woman push a few buttons. The woman looked up at her again. "He'll be out in a moment."

Celty stepped away from the desk and took a seat across the room, sliding out her phone. There was a single text from Shinra, sent earlier that afternoon.

_Have you spoken to Shizuo today? I can't get a hold of him._

Her fingers hesitated over the keypad.

Shizuo had been odd for some time; she'd checked with his boss more times than she would like to admit. It wasn't like Shizuo to miss so much work with the way he lived. He needed the money, Celty knew. It was hard to believe that Shizuo was so sick so often, or for so long these days as well. How long had she known Shizuo? Since he was in high school? Middle school, maybe? He'd never gotten sick. He'd broken bones, sure, and some times he got a slight hint of a cold...but a runny nose and itchy eyes was no where near enough to stop him.

_I'll go see him before I come home._

She put her phone away when the message was sent, shoulders slumping.

"Miss Sturluson?"

Celty stood up, shaking the out stretched hand of the white haired man before her. He gave her just a hint of a smile. "Sorry if I kept you waiting."

She waved a hand dismissively before her phone as back out, fingers typing quickly.

_I just got here, so no worries. I haven't interrupted anything have I?"_

"No," Arima assured her, shaking his head. "You're a top priority here right now so your presence is never unwelcome. Let's go speak in one of the offices, shall we?"

Celty fell into step behind the white haired man, phone still clutched in her hand for conversation. He led her to a plain, white walled office, and sat down at the desk; Celty sat across from him and began typing away.

_I mostly just wanted to touch bases with you. Since that fire at the ghoul safe house I haven't heard much about any ghoul movements. The rumors I have heard are the ones I'm still investigating. There hasn't been anything of interest, I think._

Arima nodded, a hand resting in his chin. "I understand. Because of the fire, I'd assume most ghouls are in hiding until commotion dies down. Truthfully, though, that's the best time to hunt them down; when animals are scared they act out."

_They're more human than they are animals, Arima-San._ Celty imagined Kaneki's face, her gut twisting.

"Yes, I suppose," Arima agreed quietly. "We appreciate all you're doing to help us. The information you gather from online and around town surpass our methods by far, and already we've apprehended handfuls of ghouls here in the city. Ikebukuro is a large city, and this ward is seeing an increase in ghoul activity that's higher than ever before."

_After what I heard happened in the twentieth ward, that's understandable. They're just trying to find safer places to go._

Arima nodded slowly. "Yes, they are."

_What happens to the ghouls you've been capturing?_

Arima took a breath. "I'd prefer to be honest with you, Miss Sturluson. I understand you may sympathize with these ghouls, but they're a danger to society. We can't let them walk around freely like they are, you know."

Celty paused, typing slowly. _I can probably guess what you're doing. I know they're dangerous, but I'd like to emphasize again that no matter what job you give me to do, I won't attack or kill a ghoul._

"I know that and we respect your choice,"He assured her, sitting up straighter. "Helping us locate them and identify areas with higher activity is more than enough. We're all very glad you agreed to help us; I know that you have no real interest in this sort of thing."

_That's not true; I am interested. I've only ever really dealt with conflicts that are between humans. Sometimes it seems easier that way. I can easily tell right from wrong in most cases but with ghoul's it's...different. They seem so much like humans. They're only trying to live, the same as all of us; the dangerous ghouls make it hard to tell the difference between the bad and the good. Ghouls are a grey area, I guess._

"For some it can be difficult to understand," Arima agreed softly. He leaned back in his chair, pushing his glasses up. "But I can assure you that ghouls are dangerous even if they don't look like it. You shouldn't concern yourself with things like that right now; it makes working harder."

Celty hesitated, and would have frowned if she could. She gave a small, hesitant nod, standing up.

_Thanks, then. I'll be back to check in and what not in another day or so._

"I'll be here when you do." Arima assured, and Celty left before another word could pass the man's lips.

She quickly walked through the halls, suddenly hyper-aware of the eyes watching her as she went. Humans, all of them, humans that were both terrified and curious about her. About anything that wasn't a human like them, that struggled to live in a world that devoured anything weak.

She suddenly felt sick to her stomach, but pushed the discomfort aside; she had to go check on Shizuo, after all.

The ride to Shizuo's apartment felt longer than it usually did and Celty parked her bike and headed up the stairs. She came to Shizuo's door and knocked, waiting. There was no grunted reply, like usual, and Celty brought her hand up again and knocked a second time, harder. Again there was no reply and Celty hesitantly tried to door knob, finding the door unlocked. She stiffened, momentarily stricken with worry, and then she walked into the apartment.

There were clothes everywhere, she noticed first. They were in small piles by the kitchen and hanging off the couch. She cocked her head to the side and stepped around a small pile, peeking towards the hall way that led to Shizuo's room. His door was cracked open, she saw, and she strode over, knocking on the door.

Shizuo yelled, startled, and it made Celty jump back in surprise. She watched Shizuo shoot up from his bed, holding his sheets around him tightly, much like a child would. He stared at Celty in surprise, swallowing thickly. "Did you knock on the front door? I didn't hear you.."

_I did. Were you sleeping?_

Shizuo didn't look like he'd been asleep. In fact, he didn't look like he'd slept at all recently. He had circles under his eyes and his hair was sticking up everywhere. He read the sentence on Celty's phone and shrugged. "Yeah, sort of."

_Tom said you weren't at work today._

"I felt sick," Shizuo mumbled, tearing his gaze away from the woman, chewing his lower lip.

_You've been sick a lot lately. Are you okay? You never really get sick._

Shizuo read the phone again and sighed, bringing a hand up to run through his hair. "I'm fine, don't worry about it. Did Shinra send you over?"

Celty shook her head. _I was leaving the CCG building and wanted to check on you before I got home._

Shizuo felt his body stiffen and took a breath to calm himself. He nodded slowly, averting his gaze for a second. "CCG, huh? Still working with those guys? What do they even have you doing?"

Celty's shoulders rolled and then slumped as she typed, as if she were sighing.

_They mostly have me gathering information on where the ghouls are seem the most. I check forums online, too, to try and see if anyone knows locations. If I run into ghouls on my own I'm supposed to capture them and call the CCG. It's not much work, but I don't really know how to feel about it in all honesty._

Shizuo blinked in surprise, arching an eyebrow at her as he slowly sat down on his bed, pulling the sheets tighter around himself. "Why not?"

Celty went over and sat next to the man, leaning into him as she typed out her reply.

_I'm not human so I can sympathize at least a little with Ghouls. Most of them are just trying to live, to get by like every one else. I know there are bad ghouls out there, like the one that you said attacked you when you were a child. But...but it's just like with people. There are good and bad people. There are good and bad ghouls, right? It just feels like a morally grey area; they're human and I want to protect humans but they're also monsters like me. I just don't feel like I should be playing a part in this sort of thing, but I'm one of the only people who can really help the CCG protect the city...the city my friends all live in._

Shizuo nodded slowly, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. He took a breath and leaned into Celty, too, taking a second to collect his thoughts. He honestly wasn't sure what he had expected Celty to think of the CCG or the job they gave her. He knew Celty wasn't a killer, that she didn't particularly care for violence like him, too. He knew she was understanding, too, and a part of him was sure that if he just told her, she could help...

There was another part of him that stopped him, that dug it's claws into his throat to keep the words at bay. "That...sounds like it's a lot to handle. Are you sure you really want to do it?"

_No, but it's like I said; I'm the only one who can help._

Shizuo looked away, letting out a soft breath. "You should...take time to think about it. Figure it out. If you're uncomfortable doing something then don't let those suit wearing creeps bully you into it."

Celty's shoulders moved a bit, as if she were laughing.

_I know...but I came to see you, not talk about me. Are you sure you're alright? We can have Shinra take a look at you and see if there's anything wrong._

"I'll be fine, I'm going back to work tomorrow." Shizuo assured firmly, shaking his head. "I ran into that bastard Izaya today, so maybe that's what made whatever wrong with me act up."

Celty nodded, all too familiar with Shizuo and Izaya's run-in's. She stood up and patted Shizuo's head with her free hand.

_I'll try to see you tomorrow if I have time. Try to get sleep._

Shizuo nodded and shuffled out of the room with her, leading her to the front door. "Tell Shinra I'll stop by when I have time, yeah?"

Celty nodded and waved, and as soon as she was out of sight, Shizuo shut and locked the door. He let his forehead fall against the door and let out a sigh. He pushed away from the door and walked over to his couch, laying down on it. His head was spinning and he felt sick to his stomach, the lingering shock from earlier that day still fresh in his mind. The run-in with Izaya had been a mistake.

Izaya _knew_.

Izaya knew and Shizuo didn't know what that meant. It left him terrified because Izaya hated him and despite what Shizuo had said earlier, he didn't want to die. Well, not by Izaya's doing, at least. Any other way, by any other person...

Izaya could tell the CCG. He could tell Celty. He could tell the entire city if he wanted to, and Shizuo didn't want that. Tom would know. Tom and Kasuka and Shinra would all know and if they found out about Shizuo, then Mikado was in danger too.

Mikado, who was just a kid who was just as scared and confused as he was. A kid that was smart...and had his whole life ahead of him...

No. Izaya couldn't tell and Shizuo had to be sure of it...even if it meant sitting down with the little creep and talking to him himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://my-tatteredwingsof-freedom.tumblr.com/ you can follow me on tumblr


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